In this day in age sex is everywhere in the media. We are constantly bombarded with sexual images and profiles of what Hollywood thinks the perfect sexual experience is. All of this makes it easy to feel like you may be the only one without a libido.
Low Libido is a Common Concern
The reality is that many people experience a diminished libido and there are plenty of women who find it difficult to achieve an orgasm. Unfortunately, no one talks about this, not even most physicians. But I assure you that you are not alone if you are experiencing any decline in your desire for sex.
When you examine the way most of us live, it's no wonder couples find difficulty in the bedroom. High stress, grab-n-go, multi-tasking, late nights and yes, even our children all have the ability to decrease our desire and ability to be intimate.
In my practice, I've seen women of all ages report diminished desire for sex and difficulty feeling pleasure.
I find this to be an indicator of their overall health, as a healthy libido is measure of vitality.
It also tells me that there may be an underlying hormonal imbalance, cardiovascular issue or a mental/ emotional piece that needs examining. But this isn't always the case. Sometimes it just takes some very simple lifestyle and dietary changes to bring back that fire you once felt.
Increase Your Libido and Enhance Your Orgasms Naturally
By now we all know how bad stress is for us, but did you know it can literally strangle your libido?
When you are stressed, you are in sympathetic over drive. That means your nervous system is primed in fight or flight mode- hardly the mindset for sex. When you are living in a state of sympathetic dominance blood flow becomes restricted to areas your body doesn't deem necessary for fighting a tiger or running from it. You can probably guess which are the unnecessary areas.
To counter the effects of stress on your life you need to nourish the parasympathetic nervous system.
One way of doing this is to focus on your breathing. Try this daily practice.
Set an alarm for every hour you are awake. When the alarm goes off take 10 deep belly breathes. Observe the breath moving deep into the lungs, then hold onto it slightly so that you create a longer exhale than inhale. It is those longer exhales that encourage a more parasympathetic state, what's known as rest and digest.
You may also want to consider changing your schedule to include less tasks in the day and leave more time to spend with your partner. Make time for things you enjoy doing and definitely get some exercise daily, not only for stress reduction, but also for increased blood flow.
It is where your body restores and revitalizes itself. It is also where your body orchestrates a delicate balance of hormones that elevate your mood, regulate your weight and help your body become ready to enjoy the next day.
If you're serious about taking back your libido, get yourself to bed by 10 pm nightly and stay there for a good 7-9 hours. And while you are at it, make the room as dark as possible so that you can make the most of your sleep and melatonin.
Read more about how sleep impacts hormones.
Knowing Your Own Body.
Yes, it is very important to know what you like in the bedroom, but what I find to be really important is to actually feel a real connection to your sexual organs.
While society does well to display sex, it has also instilled in many people a shame about being in touch with their feminine and masculine. These areas are a part of us just as much as your arm or any other body part.
One way to start connecting to our body is with breath.
You can incorporate this into your daily deep belly breathing. Visualize yourself sending your breath to different areas of your body. Each time you do this, try to feel yourself come into your pelvis. Explore that space for any thoughts you may be holding onto that are not serving you and give yourself permission to release those.
Coming into your pelvic space daily will make it that much easier to do so during more intimate moments. The more connected you are to this area the more sensation you will be able to experience.
What to Eat to Increase Your Libido and Enhance Your Orgasms Naturally
It's more than just what you eat, but also how you eat it.
Try instilling these healthy eating practices to optimize your digestion so that you get the most benefit from your food. You want to strive for well balanced meals with plenty of vegetables as these will provide vitamins and minerals necessary for hormone production.
Including fiber in the diet will also allow for hormonal balance. A well balanced diet will help provide you with the nutrients you need to produce the right amount of testosterone.
Testosterone is the libido hormone, as it leads to increased blood flow and swelling of tissues, which heightens sensitivity and allows your body to create lubrication. And while we are on the subject of diet, here is a list of foods that help increase the libido and aid in orgasms.
What's good for the heart is good for your libido!
The bioflavonoids help keep your blood vessels healthy and allow for good blood flow to your sexual organs, which is essential for arousal, lubrication and achieving an orgasm.
Dark chocolate also boosts dopamine in the brain, which is associated with pleasure. When you buy that special person a chocolaty treat this year make sure it is 70% or more cacao…that's where the good stuff is.
Provide you with a good dose of zinc. Zinc can help you achieve higher testosterone levels, which have been associated with a higher sex drive. Zinc is also important for healthy sperm production. Aim for 1/4 cup per day.
Firstly, you both have to eat it, otherwise, this could have the opposite effect you are hoping for. Allicin, the active compound in garlic, improves circulation through thinning the blood. This will help your tissues receive more blood and nutrients, which can enhance physical sensations.
Yes, all that potassium will help prevent muscle cramps, but they also contain bromelain, which can help increase testosterone and your libido. You can also try eating the center portion of pineapples, which contain a high amount of bromelain and can help decrease inflammation in the body.
Believe it or not, this often overlooked vegetable contains a constituent (androsterone) that helps your body produce pheromones. Pheromones, secreted through your sweat glands, subconsciously suggest sexual arousal.
An herb that will boost circulation and sexual sensation. By aiding in increased sensation and lubrication, ginger helps enhance orgasm. Sip on a nice warm cup of fresh ginger tea in the evening and see where the night takes you.
Found in red meat, lentils, spinach and nuts. Arginine can help the female libido and orgasm through the dilation of clitoral blood vessels.
Spinach & Asparagus
Both of these vegetables are high in folate. Folate helps aid in the production of histamine, which is released from mast cells during sexual arousal. Folate can help facilitate the female orgasm and is also essential in the early stages of pregnancy (just in case).
While a low libido may be common, it should never be considered normal. If after trying some of these tips you still don't see improvements, please consider getting help from a medical professional to unearth the root cause of your symptoms.