Cortisol Face, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome Insulin Resistance, and How to Treat Endometriosis Naturally | Alaia Baldwin

Dr. Brighten: [00:00:00] Welcome back to the Dr. Brighton Show. I'm your host, Dr. Jolene Brighton. I'm board certified in Naturopathic endocrinology, a nutrition scientist, a certified sex counselor, and a certified menopause specialist. As always, I'm bringing you the latest, most UpToDate information to help you take charge of your health and take back your hormones.

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Don't forget to subscribe, leave a comment, or share this with a friend because it helps this podcast get out to everyone who needs it. Alright, let's dive in. You were diagnosed with endometriosis in 2016. Can you take us through what life looked like before then and what really led to you getting the diagnosis?

Alaia: So. I'll just go, I guess from the beginning. Uh, growing up I never really had any endo symptoms. I always knew what it was 'cause I had, it ran in my family and I had a cousin who you just heard the tales of, like her struggling. And, um, so I was familiar, I guess, with the word more than other people are.

Mm-hmm. But long story short, the year that I. Met my husband. So I joke that it's his fault, but it's 

Dr. Brighten: not okay. He didn't cause the endo, but he made it the reality. Exactly. Okay. 

Alaia: But um, so we were dating and it [00:02:00] was like zero to 100. I just woke up one day in the worst pain possible. Fast forward every month.

It got. Significantly worse, like in bed one day a week, two days a week, three days a week take going from Tylenol to, you know, extreme, like strong opioids and mm-hmm. Taking like the whole month, you know, it ends and then it takes you a month to recover and then the cycle starts over again. So I was fortunate because my sister-in-law was also dealing with Endo, so she is the one who referred me to Dr.

Kins. So I was really lucky that I like jumped over the hoops of. Spending years and years and years. Mm-hmm. Seeing, you know, tons of doctors and trying to convince anyone that something's wrong with me. So I waited a few months and went straight to him within like a year. Mm-hmm. So that was 2015. And then.

I think it was March, 2016. Uh, I had my surgery and it was [00:03:00] me and my sister-in-law had it a week apart. Yeah. So she went first and then I went and uh, obviously she's someone that totally understands, so. Mm-hmm. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. Was it helpful to have someone going through the surgery at the same time as you? 

Alaia: Yeah, definitely.

And just having, you know, somebody that close to me, we've always been close friends. Mm-hmm. So to talk about it and obviously someone who like gets it. 'cause in my immediate group of friends, um, nobody. You know, has it so? Mm-hmm. Yeah. That they know of. They're 

Dr. Brighten: right. That they know of. I mean, that's the thing about endometriosis, right?

Because the estimates have been like, oh, one in 10, and now we're seeing the new research that says one in seven, which is not surprising because as we actually do research, we find these things that are rare are actually much more common than what we thought. You know, when it comes to endometriosis, there's a real classic picture.

People expect painful, heavy periods from the jump. Like that's the way life always was. But it wasn't that way for you. [00:04:00] How long did it take, so from the start of your period until you were like, okay, I am starting to have pain. What did and what did that look like? Was it, 'cause you said like, oh, the days started coming where it was like, I'm in so much pain, I'm spending days in bed, but did you have things like fatigue or joint pain or, or brain fog, some of these other symptoms that are less associated with endo, but Absolutely a picture of endo.

Alaia: Honestly, not really. Okay. Um, earlier, the year before that, I started getting sick a lot, but I needed sinus surgery, so, mm-hmm. I think that was kind of. Genuinely separates. Mm-hmm. It really just was like all at once. Yeah. Out of nowhere. So looking back into being a teenager, I think there were a couple of trickling, um, symptoms.

I mean, not debilitating at all, but I always struggled with like really bad constipation. Um, I would definitely get really tired during my period, but mm-hmm. Not enough to ever stop me [00:05:00] from. Like I like danced every day. Went to school. Yeah. Like it never was a problem. I was just completely normal. And then it just, yeah.

Really flipped quickly. 

Dr. Brighten: Well, and the resiliency of the teenage body is like when you think about what we could handle when, oh my gosh, we're a teenager, right? You can go on like four hours of sleep and you're still going like I think about it all the time. Yeah. But the constipation, I mean, that can definitely be a sign of Endo.

And it's so interesting because irritable bowel syndrome. Is often the diagnosis we see in our community mm-hmm. That women get, only to find out sometimes decades later that it was never IBS. Mm-hmm. It was actually a sign of endometriosis for you. There were no real barriers of going, like did you ever talk to any doctors about what was going on and, and feel dismissed?

Or was it because you already knew somebody who kind of was like, Hey, I'm in this club. You might be too. Let me help you. 

Alaia: Yeah, I was just. In the club really quickly and mm-hmm. You know, didn't have to [00:06:00] go through that side, I guess, of the struggle. Um, at other points I had been dismissed by doctors. Mm-hmm.

So with the sinus thing later on with, uh, getting diagnosed with PCOS, so I had, I guess, advocated for myself before, but again, I went straight to one of the best people, so. Mm-hmm. I was really fortunate, but my, you know. Other people I know, or my sister-in-law had been at least a few years of finding somebody that would 

Dr. Brighten: hear them out.

Mm-hmm. So first it was endometriosis, then the PCOS diagnosis. Yeah. What made you suspect PCOS or that something 

Alaia: was 

Dr. Brighten: off? 

Alaia: So I think it was after my wedding, so this is, or no, the year before my wedding. So yeah, fall of 2016. So we have surgery in the spring and then around August. I remember I can't. Put my finger on it, but I started to just feel like weird.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Alaia: And over the course of the next few months, literally [00:07:00] just my face swelled up like a balloon. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Alaia: And it wasn't really my body. And I'll never forget, I went home for Thanksgiving and. You know, I was like, oh, everyone's so like kind and nice and you know, my family and blah, blah, blah. Family friends have known me forever and everyone just come, kept coming up to me being like, I'm really sorry.

I don't wanna say something, but Are you okay? Yeah. And I was like, yes. I don't know. I, you know, something's going on. I don't really know what it is. They're like, you know, you just. Your face. Your face, it just looks different. And I'm like, I know. Okay. You don't have to keep reminding me. It's like, I don't feel great about myself right now.

Mm-hmm. So you're really helping me. But I had seen, um, one endocrinologist who just was not the best. That was kind of the, you know, situation of. We think you have something else. They initially thought I had Cushing's disease. Mm-hmm. Which I thought was [00:08:00] wild, but I guess, you know, the face swelling, the moon face.

Yeah. When, yeah, it made sense. But I was like, look, oh, a few of the other symptoms, um, I forgot. I started like growing more hair for me. Mm-hmm. Um, and. I had hair fall out like here. So it wasn't severe or anything. I didn't have like a beard, but I just noticed, you know, little spots for me that weren't normal.

Yeah. So that kind of led me to think PCOS. Mm-hmm. Um, so when I saw this guy, I was like, look, I think I have PCOS, blah, blah, blah, and he did all the Cushings tests and said, I'm so shocked. I don't understand. Then I waited to see somebody else in December, so. I met this guy and within two sentences he's like, oh, you have PCOS.

Mm-hmm. So, and back then, compared to especially now, like the more traditional, uh, outlook was, you had to have all of the. Markers for PCOS, which obviously, you know, are like the high testosterone and androgens, um, insulin resistance and [00:09:00] then, and ovulatory cycles or irregular cycles. Yeah. Which I didn't have irregular or light or skip periods because of the end dose.

So that was not, you know, the situation. So I've always just struggled with the insulin resistance side of things. Mm-hmm. Um, so yeah, then I went on metformin and. It was pretty, you know, balanced for a long time, um, and been okay since then. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. You said you went to the doctor and you were like, I think I have PCOS.

Like you went to a doctor and you kind of figured this out on your own, which I think is something a lot of women do. Mm-hmm. But. Then they make that appointment, they go to that appointment, they get dismissed that appointment, and it can feel so discouraging. They don't make the second follow up appointment.

What about your situation made you push to advocate for yourself more? 

Alaia: You know, I don't really know. I just, I feel like I am the kind of person if I just, you just know intuitively that something's wrong. Mm-hmm. I'm [00:10:00] just not. Gonna let it go. Yeah. Uh, like I feel like I'm just, I guess like driven as a person, which might sound strange, but I don't give up easily on anything ever.

Mm-hmm. In life. So I think that is really just, that's just it. And I won't stop until somebody like has an answer. 

Dr. Brighten: What would you say to women who feel discouraged, feel that they've been gaslit, they're not getting the support they need, and they're like, I know something's wrong. What would you say to them in terms of helping them advocate for themselves?

Alaia: It sounds cheesy, I guess, but just don't give up. Like, I feel like, especially as women, like we're, you know, sensitive and we are especially sensitive and in tune with our hormones and our bodies, and if you know something's wrong. You are 99%, most likely, correct? Mm-hmm. So just having patience. I think, you know, that's definitely a big lesson in all of this, and [00:11:00] doing the best you can to take care of yourself in the ways you know how.

And then just, you know, you can never, you know, see too many doctors and get, you know, I guess you could get too many opinions, but yeah, just, you know, you know your body and you know yourself. So I think just mm-hmm. Reminding yourself of that. And no matter what anybody says, if it's negative or you know, not supportive, then you know.

Bye. Just keep going. Mm-hmm. And, you know, believe in yourself. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. You've been open about your struggles with endometriosis and PCOS and then moving into motherhood. Did you face struggles in becoming a mother or even adapting to motherhood, especially having, you know, multiple chronic conditions? 

Alaia: Um, I'd say the transition overall for me was.

Smooth. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Alaia: Um, I think I had really set myself up for [00:12:00] things to be worse. Uh, I think the transition, just becoming a mother and I had a really, really hard pregnancy. Um, so I was really terrified of giving birth and postpartum. Um, but that ended up being like the way smoother part of it for me. Mm-hmm.

I think also just mm-hmm. Feeling so awful. Pregnant. You're, I was just so happy to like not be pregnant. Yeah. I'm like, cool. Like we're wearing diapers, but like you're here, we're chilling. Like, not that it's easy, but it was exciting. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Alaia: Um, but I think that having learned for so many years. That I needed to put myself first before anybody else in terms of especially taking care of like my body.

Um, even when I was younger, when I was, you know, figuring everything out in the beginning, in my early twenties, I never could, you know, eat whatever I wanted, like go out multiple times a day or a week. Yeah. So. I think that I was well versed in, you [00:13:00] know, putting the mask, you know, the oxygen mask on yourself before you can put it on your kids.

So I think that mindset has always. You know, not that I'm perfect, I've, of course, you know, don't always do that, but having to be patient and remind myself like, you can't help anybody else if you don't help yourself first. Yeah. Uh, the hardest transition has been not feeling well, obviously. Mm-hmm. And not feeling well in parenting.

Um, that has been. You know, definitely the hardest and especially, you know, you're not feeling well and you know, you're in tons of pain, which is hard enough. But then worrying about somebody else and keeping them alive and making sure they're happy and having like, like no pressure, right? Yeah, no pressure.

And you know, having fomo, like they're doing something so simple, like they wanna go to the park, they wanna watch a movie, they wanna do this. And it's the moments that you can't be there that you wish you could just be doing the simplest. Thing together. Mm-hmm. And not missing out on anything. [00:14:00] And on top of that feeling awful.

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. 

Alaia: So 

Dr. Brighten: that's been number one. How do you reconcile that and how, how do you manage those feelings? Because I think there's a lot of women that resonate with that. I certainly, you know, it was. I didn't even realize how much I had slowed down, how much time I was resting instead of being with my children until after my excision surgery for endometriosis and how my energy came back and I look back and I'm like, I missed some serious time there.

Mm-hmm. It's, I think, in no way unique for anybody who's living with endometriosis, polycystic ovarian syndrome, some of these conditions. How do you reconcile? That feeling and also being present and feeling like I am getting time with my children. 

Alaia: I guess. I mean, the last few years I've also spent extra, extra time in like intensive therapy.

Mm-hmm. So that's. Of course helpful for me. Yeah. Um, I always had been in therapy, but a few years ago I did kind of like a trauma [00:15:00] therapy intensive and then got a new therapist in la so, and she's also a mom, so it's, you know, very relatable to speak with her. Um, otherwise I just have to kind of, you know, punch myself in the brain like, you know.

There always will be more opportunities for you after you feel better to make up for lost time. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. Well, something that comes to mind is mom guilt. Like we feel very guilty as moms when we're not showing up 1000%. It's not a hundred percent. It's like a. Thousand percent for our children. Yeah. Do you ever have those feelings or have you been able, because it sounds like you're very grounded in the, if I don't care for myself, I'm not going to be able to show up for anyone else.

Mm-hmm. 

Alaia: No, I definitely still feel guilty. I feel guilty all the time. Um, maybe not in the sense that a lot of other parents do. 'cause I do have to ground myself and remind myself of, um. You know, keeping steady and remembering there's a [00:16:00] light at the end of the tunnel, like you will feel better. Mm-hmm. Um, where I do feel I, like I have mom guilt and can relate to that is with.

Number one would be chronic fatigue. Mm. Um, I feel like, you know, and a lot of people, you know, I had my daughter and I was 27, and a lot of people look at me and say, oh, you're so young. You have so much energy. It's so much easier when you're young. Recovery is better. You have all this energy to run around with your toddlers, um, have all your kids young.

And I'd say that's the most frustrating comment for me because. Since my early twenties. Mm-hmm. I have never felt like I had a lot of energy and now it's, you know, definitely less than it ever was. Yeah. Um, so I feel like the struggle of keeping up and, you know, not just having, you know, not being extremely fatigued, but just feeling like I can go a extended period of time, whether that's one week, weeks, months of just feeling like I'm not.

Struggling to [00:17:00] get out of bed every day. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Alaia: Um, I'd say that is a lot of the guilt comes from that part of it, because most of my friends haven't had kids yet. Hmm. Uh, the people in my mom group are definitely, you know, a couple or many years older than I am. We all talk about, you know, being tired all the time.

But I think anybody dealing with chronic illness, you are definitely, you know. A different, you know, on a different wave and under a different layer of fatigue. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah, I definitely agree. The, um, the idea of endometriosis, and I say it's an idea because it's not, the reality that most of us live with, is that the number one symptom is pain.

And in reality, pain is often present. But we know, like, I mean, as high as 50% of cases of endo might be silent, like we don't. Mm-hmm. We're spending $2 per endometriosis patient per year on research. We're nowhere [00:18:00] near actually understanding this disease, but as I've experienced, and I've talked to so many women about it.

Anxiety and fatigue are really some of the most universal symptoms that we're all experiencing. And it might be that you're having period pain, or maybe you're having ovulation pain, or maybe you're having pain with your bowel movements. Maybe you're having pain with sex or maybe. You're just having this like low grade pelvic something and you would never quantify it as pain, but the fatigue is the thing that we all fill.

And because you're, you're living. So if people are not aware, because endometriosis, PCS, they're always like, those are just lady part problems. They're just like relegated to like your uterus, you're ovaries, everything's working right. And reality, these are full body systemic conditions. So endometriosis, you have inflammation everywhere.

If you have the flu, how do you fill. Icky, tired, rundown, cranky. It's almost as if you're just living with the flu all the time, how your immune system's activated [00:19:00] for you. It's that double fold too. Because we also know A-P-C-O-S, there is a lot of fatigue that comes with having PCOS as well, and that is the complex metabolic endocrine issue going on.

So for, I'm like, you know, I really, I feel for you because it's like there's. Two conditions that are highly inflammatory. Then there's this other one messing with your metabolic system. So your ability to actually take in sugar, utilize it for energy. And I don't think that we hold enough space for that because people can be quite cruel.

And I wonder because you're, you're, you're more in the public eye. I feel like you're more in the public eye than me. The, the perception of like, well, why'd you even bother having kids is sometimes what people will say. I've had that as I share some things about my story. Well, if it's so hard and you're so ungrateful, why'd you bother having kids?

And I'm like, it, I can love my kids and wanna be a mom and also say, this is really hard. 

Alaia: Yeah. Yeah. 100%. I agree with all of that. And I'd [00:20:00] say specifically what you said about, you know, dealing with like inflammation all the time. I've always felt, I guess before you know, the diagnosis and years before that, like I always have gotten so.

Bloated. Mm. And it's not just like, oh, my stomach's bloated, like I ate too much. Just a full body ache and like, uh, almost like a heat. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. 

Alaia: Um. In your joints and everywhere. So yeah, having, when I found out I had PCOS and then what especially helped was the metformin. Mm-hmm. Um, for me, like diet is a huge thing.

Um, I don't like to say like I'm on a diet 'cause I'm not. Yeah. But, um, growing up my mom, you know, we always have a huge garden and it was all about like eating great, like hardy food, but like organic. So of course all of that is. Beyond important, um, for the inflammation for sure. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Alaia: And the last year and a half I've gotten, which I can't believe [00:21:00] I'm even saying this 'cause I said I never would, but I've gotten super into cold plunging.

Oh yeah. Um, yes. Okay. And it has literally changed my life. Yeah. Um, with the inflammation and, you know, all the physical aspects of things, but also with mental health. And before you mentioned like anxiety and dealing with all of this. And that's of course like. So intertwined and your nervous system is, you know, just shot.

Mm-hmm. So, yeah, I've always struggled with that and, you know, the hormonal cycle, making that worse. And I've always had. Severe anxiety, I would say as soon as your body calms down, as soon as your mind starts to calm down, then there's some type of fluctuation or life event or just anything that you know, spins you out again.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Alaia: So, 

Dr. Brighten: yeah. It's so interesting you say cold plunging has helped you so much. I think a lot about, so in my journey with endometriosis, excruciating painful periods, did that. Gone on the pill. You know, I did that for three years. Finally was like, okay, I'm giving in, [00:22:00] take the pill. Pretty much just didn't even have periods.

So it was like, I don't really have pain because I'm never having these cycles. But then I look back and I'm like, well, yeah, I was in the ER for ruptured ovarian cysts and, and pelvic pain and all these other things. So, but it was, I look back because people are like, how did you get out of pain? Because by the time I got diagnosed, I didn't have any pain.

And it was things like. Nutrition lifestyle. Cold plunging. Cold plunging is so great for inflammation, but doing all of these things that really. In some ways masked my endometriosis 'cause I managed it. Mm-hmm. And yet I'm like, I, it was also necessary for survival. Yeah. I'm curious, what are your nutrition non-negotiables?

You were saying like, I'm, you know, not on a diet. And I agree with that because PCOS is like, the way you have to eat is lifestyle. It's, this is like how you maintain for life. And when you have chronic conditions, you know, sometimes people. Will judge us and be like, [00:23:00] why don't you just like eat the fast food?

Or why don't you just do that? And it's like, because I, I am metabolically more sensitive. I get less leadway than the average person because my body will flare and put me in check. Like you were talking about the bloating. I'm like, first time I had Endo belly, I was like, this is horrific. Like, yeah, I had patience with it and I was like, that's hard.

I can understand that. I empathize. But when I went through it myself, I'm just like. This isn't hard. This is debilitating. Yeah. So I'm just, I think the audience would be interested to hear like, what are the nutrition non-negotiables for you? 

Alaia: Oh. I mean, I'd start off by saying that the biggest lesson I've learned the hard way has been it's always like balance.

Mm-hmm. And I feel like if I've gone to extreme with anything, you're number one, not gonna feel good, not have. Results that you want, whether that's how you feel or what you look like. Yeah. So, um, I [00:24:00] think that is always my biggest advice to anybody who asks. They want some like super secret tip or some like, I know diet tip or fad, whatever that is.

And there is none. I mean, it is an overall lifestyle change. If you want to feel good, if you, regardless, you know, I've always. Eat in a certain way. Like I mentioned, just clean organic food. That's how I was raised. I never grew up like eating whatever I wanted every day. I did, but that was what real food was food to me.

Mm-hmm. And my mom was all about, you know. Living a healthy lifestyle, but enjoying food and enjoying life. It never came from a place of what you look like or being thin. So I'm really, really, really grateful to her, um, that that's how I was raised. And I was really lucky, especially like in the nineties being a kid that wasn't really like.

Normal. So, um, for me, I mean, I'm severely allergic to gluten. I have to like EpiPen [00:25:00] myself, so that's not optional. Yeah, yeah. Very, uh, depressing. It's so annoying. 

Dr. Brighten: Um, and especially like in the sourdough age, right? Everybody with a sour. I know. I still have 

Alaia: a gluten-free starter. I'm supposed to start and I keep, uh, you know, not having the mental capacity to be feeding somebody else right now.

Yeah. So fair, fair. That's been delayed, but this. Summer, I'm gonna put my mind to it. Um, I'd say the number one thing I feel the worst eating is sugar. Mm-hmm. Um, obviously refined sugar, white sugar, I'll have some like agave or when I bake, I really love, um, coconut sugar. Mm-hmm. Um, but just white sugar is pretty much my non-negotiable if I eat, especially something like candy.

Um. Compared to maybe like a baked good or mm-hmm. Something with kind of more ingredients in it since I was a teenager, like, I will break out within 24 hours, like get pimples. Mm-hmm. I don't really have oily skin. Um, feel really inflamed, feel tired if I eat sugar [00:26:00] really more than maybe two days in a row, like when I was a teenager on Halloween.

If I would eat my Halloween candy for that many days after I would get a cold. Okay. Like my body just like shuts down. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Alaia: Um, and now, you know, it's even more sensitive to that. But again, looking back on like. Recognizing symptoms when I was younger. I think way more than my friends or anybody I knew at a young age, feeling that sensitivity to mm-hmm.

Sugar. Um, number three, I am generally dairy free. Um, I have been, since I was younger as well, it always bothered my sinuses, so, mm. I don't, you know, struggle with any type of allergic reaction or stomach pain, but just that's always been more of a thing. So, um. Yeah, I still will eat it. You know, I'll go out to dinner and have like a cheesy pasta and just go for it.

Mm-hmm. When I go for it, I go for it. Yeah. So we're doing the whole thing. That's the other thing is I'm not like a three chips and we're good. We're done. Mm-hmm. Uh, when you're gonna live your life and like sit down and enjoy your [00:27:00] food, I think that you should. But yeah, those are definitely my, my main ones.

Um, also when I was. Living in New York, I did a holistic nutrition program that was in Chinese medicine. Mm-hmm. Acupuncture's always. Helped me so much, I'm like, wouldn't be alive without it. So learning more in that kind of lens about health and nutrition. 'cause I feel like also so many people think, oh, I wanna lose weight.

I wanna be healthy, I just need to eat salad. Yeah. All the time. That's like a big one. And it's like. That for women and for me specifically, I always felt so bloated when I would eat that much salad or like raw vegetables. So, you know, going into the Chinese medicine, um, program, learning a lot about kind of your constitution and your body type, uh, especially women with, you know, hormonal issues.

Um, and you know, I'm not gonna like dive into how all of that works. I still feel like I barely know anything compared to all the knowledge that's out there, but. Yeah, [00:28:00] like for me and specifically like eating a lot less. Raw food and raw veggies. Yeah. Um, lightly cooking them or eating them mixed in with like protein or, you know, rice, quinoa.

But, um, I definitely don't eat a lot of like salads or I'll have a side salad. Mm-hmm. Or it'll be lighter greens and something like kale or really heavy, like that's just not gonna work. And I did change, you know, in that way, I guess what I ate and I felt a huge difference also with the bloating and like indigestion and, um.

Yeah, I think, and I've talked to other women about that too, and they have felt the same. Like, I'm eating so healthy, I'm eating so much salad, and I'm always bloated. I'm like, well, maybe don't eat salad every day for lunch and dinner. Like try some cooked foods together. So, mm-hmm. That's been a big one for me too.

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. So we've talked about, you brought up cold plunging. We've talked about nutrition. Your mom living with chronic illness, you have a really demanding career. Are [00:29:00] there things that you found that are like within your wellness routine that you're like, when I get off kilter, 'cause we all do, right? Mm-hmm.

We're not living this perfect life. And you had talked about balance, that you find that that will recalibrate you and bring you back into your state of balance. 

Alaia: Um, I mean, I think my body says that to me before my mind does. Isn't that the truth? Yeah. Like I feel like, I'm like, why am I so stubborn? Why don't I listen sooner?

Yeah, exactly. You're like, oh, here we go again. Um, so I think that I don't, I. Go too off the rails of feeling so bad because I'm like, okay, you know, we were away, we were on vacation. Um, you know, and I just feel too unwell to like, keep going. Mm-hmm. So then I just, you know, get back to the beginning and just continue, you know, I like to say eating clean again.

I don't like saying like diet or words like that. Mm-hmm. Because it's like so much more than that in lifestyle. But, um, I think, [00:30:00] you know. Learning to get a deep sense of like healing with food. If I'm feeling really off, um, I'd say that's what I focused on. So for me, that could be things like a lot of soups, um, bone broth, those kind of things, and.

Instead of thinking in terms of like salad and smoothies, so just kind of things that are good for your gut, which we're all like learning more about. Mm-hmm. Especially these last few years, which has been great. Um, and kind of nourishing foods, that's the word I was looking for. So if I'm just feeling off, like I'll make my own soup with bone broth and just like some good sea salt and uh, kind of.

You know, thinking about it like, almost like if you were sick, like with the cold. Mm-hmm. And just eating like chicken soup and good broth and tea. I'd say that is what I focus on if I'm feeling off. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. I wanna ask you a question because I think this is something women really struggle with. So, and, and I think [00:31:00] you are in a particularly high pressure.

Arena in this. So you've modeled for some really iconic brands, and I'm curious, how do you balance the pressure of feeling like, I need to show up, I need to look good. Like I'm supposed to look beautiful right now, but I do not feel beautiful inside right now. That's a good one. 

Alaia: Um, I'd say from the beginning of starting in this industry, um, I've had to learn that lesson really.

Quickly, the overall idea of just comparing yourself to other people and needing to show up and look your best. Um, at the end of the day, there will always be somebody who you feel is, you know, prettier, taller, shorter, or thinner, whatever that is for you. Mm-hmm. Particularly, I'd say thin in modeling. Um, at the end of the day, it's so out of your control and you could look.

You know, the most amazing and feel [00:32:00] your best, look your best, be the most gorgeous person that has ever walked the face of the earth. Mm-hmm. And still not get the job. And still be surrounded by more, you know, amazing looking, you know, women. And I think staying confident and true to like your personality is way more important.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Alaia: Um, and I'd say dealing with, you know, not feeling well is definitely really hard, but. At the end of the day, you can't control any of it. So just doing the things, you know, to feel stronger and healthier and, you know, if I had a job like preparing by, like, resting more before the job mm-hmm. You know, definitely not like going out, which I never have a lot, but, you know, simple things like that.

Um, but there's definitely been times, you know, at the end of the day I can't control, as you know. Well, as other women can, I guess, what they look like because of feeling really bloated or dealing with your period. Um, so yeah, again, just like [00:33:00] resting, you know, I love to sauna and, you know, staying, you know, even keeled in your mind, I guess, and not letting it get to you so much.

Mm-hmm. Um, and just honestly like, remembering what's important. Like at the end of the day, this is such like a vad, you know, job and you know, it's. Really cool and you get to experience, you know, new places and new people, but you really, really can't take it personally because if you did, you'll just, you know, like quit in 24 hours.

Like it's so cutthroat. So just, you know, I have my family, I have my husband, and you know, I, you know. Have my health, even though it's, I kind of don't, but I do. And we're lucky to be alive and breathing every day and just keeping a mindset like that, reminding yourself of, you know, staying grounded. I think that's what's kept me going, because if you got so caught up in comments about you and especially what you look like, it's just, [00:34:00] you'll drive yourself absolutely insane.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. Do you feel like within the modeling industry you've ever faced discrimination or judgment? That was a, you know, actually due to your having a chronic illness? 

Alaia: Um, I feel I have, you know, not as much maybe on a job, but maybe with an agent or agencies. Mm-hmm. Um, not being understanding, like if I wasn't feeling well, I mean, I don't think I've ever missed anything for not feeling well.

'cause just, yeah. I've, you know, had times that I didn't feel great, but I wouldn't say I've had a horrible flare, luckily, like the day of a job or something like that. But, um. Yeah, definitely. I'd say more like the people that are booking you jobs or the people you work with on a daily basis. I felt super judged, uh, particularly with what I looked like, you know, which looking back, you know, especially before, you know, going through pregnancy and postpartum, I'm like, I looked, I remember that day, someone telling me I looked bad and I looked great, and they are so [00:35:00] screwed up to have said that to me.

Mm-hmm. And I knew that in the moment, like. You know, keeping myself grounded, but especially after going through, you know, pregnancy and like gaining a lot of weight and losing it, I'm like, wow. Like they were even worse than I thought. Like they're so mentally twisted and this industry is so twisted. So, yeah, I'd say it's of course more, you know.

Looks and performance based 

Dr. Brighten: judgment. 

Alaia: Yeah. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. 'cause I would imagine, you know, as we were talking about with the endo bloating, if people listening have never experienced that. I mean, I put a photo online of my abdomen when it bloated and I looked like a good four or five months pregnant. Oh yeah. It was huge bloating and, um, the awful men exist everywhere, but not all men are awful.

Came into my comments. I like that one. And were like. Oh my God, you're obese. You're a heifer. I can't believe that. Like you are in health, like how can you be a doctor when you're, and I'm like, oh my God, that's awful. This is bloating. This is inflammation. And like, right, I have a chronic [00:36:00] disease. And so that's, you know, uh, having my own experience with that, I'm like, I can only imagine being in the modeling industry where.

You know, women will be real thin and still be told like, oh, you're completely fat. You know fat. And you're having all these problems with your body. And, and to be in a situation where you have, you know, there's the PCOS component of hair growth and metabolically where weight wants to be stored. And then there's also the endometriosis.

And you've talked about the bloating several times. And like I could just imagine, you know, on my like. But you know, my days with like bloating, I'm like, I'm in a mumu. Like I can't even even have clothes on me. It's so uncomfortable. So it's something that, you know, I really wonder within that industry, like how much we're holding space for women with chronic illness.

It doesn't. It's unsurprising that they're not. I am curious you, you mentioned you have family members with endometriosis. I know that you've had family members struggling with mental illness that you've been public [00:37:00] about. Do you feel like you get a lot of support from your family because they know it so well?

Mm-hmm. 

Alaia: Yeah, definitely. Um. 100%. And especially my husband, I mean, you know, when I first was diagnosed, you know, I was already out of the house. So I think that at first my parents, you know, they understood and are super hands-on and caring, and my mom's super maternal. But like you said, until you experience it or at least see it firsthand, it's harder to understand.

So, yeah, I felt like, you know, over time. You know, they started to catch onto it more. But my husband of course is there all day every day. Mm-hmm. He's like a professional nurse, I always say at this point. Yeah. So, you know, he's been my number one. Um, just also by, you know, being. Um, they're a part of it, you know, 24 hours a day.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. Um, 

Alaia: but yeah, for sure. And having my husband's family and [00:38:00] sister-in-law and, um, you know, that's been like the biggest person I've bonded with over all of this stuff. Um, mm-hmm. But yeah, I feel super supportive and super or supported and super lucky that I have, you know, family who understand and are, you know, there.

Mm-hmm. And also for them, you know, growing up, you know, like my parents always being, you know, relatively healthy and especially dancing. Like we, you know, really danced a lot growing up, you know, for fun. Yeah. But just super active and seeing me not, I guess. Be active. Like that's been a really big one.

'cause I love, you know, exercising and, you know, working out and mm-hmm. I used to dance like hours a day. So that was kind of a, you know, for them, like a big point of okay, wow, that's kind of crazy that she can't just like go do that. Mm-hmm. Whenever she wants to. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah, you come from a very public family, and yet you have really carved out your own distinct [00:39:00] path, not just like in a modeling career, but you've become this health advocate that's really helping women recognize that they need to advocate for themselves.

I'm curious, like what did it look like in finding your own voice and stepping into that? 

Alaia: As soon as I started dealing with all of this. You know, crazy hormonal stuff. So many people, you know, maybe I did one Instagram post and I was, you know, very. Confident in doing that. Like cool. I know so many people out there are dealing with this and the amount of messages I got.

Hmm. Um, of people, you know, saying thank you so much for saying something. You know, nobody ever does. Like I'm the only person I know that struggles with this and you know, you're so people, you know, always say like, you're so brave and that's so amazing. I wish I could be more like that. And I guess it's kind of just my personality.

Like I can talk about. Anything to anyone like mm-hmm. I can just meet you and talk about like, you know, pushing a baby out or whatever it is. You walked in the 

Dr. Brighten: room, you were like, let's talk [00:40:00] about vaginas. Yeah. I 

Alaia: was like, let's go. I don't know, I'm just like, like that I guess. Yeah. It's like my, you know, dad's family is very like to the point and blunt and, um, I'm not.

That way in a lot of other ways. But, you know, with like health especially and, you know, women's bodies and, you know, a lot of taboo topics, I, I really am just, I don't really care. Like if someone has something bad to say about it mm-hmm. Cool. Like, you know, go away. Goodbye. So yeah, getting messages like that have definitely, you know, inspired me to just.

Talk about it even more, even though I was pretty comfortable with that. Um, and just messages like that and saying, you know, you don't know how much that means to me. And, uh, seeing somebody just talk about it, you know, who regardless of who you are, just at all on social media or like a public platform, you know, really like, resonated with me and I feel like I'm not alone.

And I feel like that sentence, like I feel like I'm not alone. I'm not alone. Uh, that is the most important, you know. [00:41:00] Thing for me. And that's, you know, I had, you know, somebody to bond over it. But I feel like when you're in like the depths of such intense pain and you're spinning out and, you know, I've definitely thought, you know, I'd rather like be dead mm-hmm.

Than be here right now. Like, it would be easier to die. Yeah. And that doesn't mean I want to be dead. Like I love life when I feel good or decent. Not even great. Uh, life is great and I'm so grateful to be alive, but when you're in that dark place, you know, you really are like, I like I can't do this anymore.

Um, there are very few people I think that know what that feels like and have been through such, you know. An intense level of pain to have gotten to that place too. So when I read those messages and people also say things like that, it really like makes my day, um, to feel like over the internet, which is so weird to me.

I'm not, you know, somebody that, you know, [00:42:00] gets out of my, you know, group of friends, I guess. You know, on social media and connecting with people, but talking about that, I'll talk to anybody any day. So I try my best to, you know, check all my messages and respond, which I'm not always getting to all of them, but mm-hmm.

If I could just post something or send one message to somebody and that makes them feel less alone, that's been kind of like the driving force for me to keep, um, talking about it and being open. So. Mm-hmm. 

Dr. Brighten: You've brought up. Several times your own struggles with mental health issues. I know you've supported family members who've struggled through the same.

What are your tips for people who listening right now when they feel like in that despair, that dark place, that feeling like they're hopeless because of these struggles? 

Alaia: I think what I always go back to is that. It will end. Hmm. Like the pain will end, whether that's like emotionally or physically. Um, it's not gonna last forever.

And you know, there are [00:43:00] things that, you know, if you're super depressed, lifestyle changes, therapy that you can do to over, you know, come that, but that doesn't mean. It's just gonna be gone forever. So even doing all of those things, like I still have bad days, and I think just reminding yourself, this is just a pocket of time that the mental or physical pain are gonna be here.

And I think for me, the biggest lesson with. All that I've learned in the last few years is accepting that you're uncomfortable and accepting that you're in pain. Accepting that you are feeling, you know, sad, depressed, anxious, and kind of allowing your mind and body to r that wave instead of trying to like, turn it off and distract yourself and just like, oh, I'm gonna do this, and just ignore those feelings.

Um, that has been kind of like a life changing, I guess. Yeah, strategy for me, like it's okay to not be okay and to allow yourself. To feel that. And then in the [00:44:00] end, I feel like that helps you to process it, you know, almost faster. And then when you're kind of over the hump, you know, you've kind of more so let it go.

Mm-hmm. Um, but yeah, that's been what I tell myself. It's okay to not be okay. I think that's such a 

powerful 

Dr. Brighten: statement because I think we often don't wanna sit with discomfort. Mm-hmm. And I think. We can also feel and get into a spiral of like, something's wrong with me because why can't I just be happy?

Why can't I just smile? Why can't I just move on? And giving yourself that presence to say it's okay to not be okay, and to be with that can be really powerful. I'm curious, through this journey of dealing with chronic illness, what have you learned in terms of building support systems and then maybe also setting boundaries?

I. Ooh, boundaries. 

Alaia: That's a good one. Um. I've learned a lot and I feel like especially becoming a parent and dealing with more chronic fatigue, you, [00:45:00] when I describe the transition of becoming a parent in a lot of ways to people is that you have less tolerance, energy and time. For the bullshit. Mm. So maybe things you put up with before, whether they're big or small with your friends, your spouse, your family, anyone you meet, walking down the street is you truly do not have the time to just let people, you know, walk all over you or hurt you or bother you.

So, you know, uh, again, when I was younger. And, you know, having to say no to plans a lot, and everyone's like, you're 21. Why can't you come out tonight? And that extends into my life now as a parent. And you know, even with very basic things like a kid's activity or a mom's activity, um, just having to really say no.

And like, you don't have to explain yourself. You don't have to feel guilty. I mean, of course sometimes it's upsetting to feel like you're missing out. Uh, but at this [00:46:00] point, that's. A feeling I'm unfortunately familiar with. Yeah. But, um, yeah, I think boundaries are so important for anybody with chronic illness or not having kids.

Mm-hmm. And I think that I. Been, you know, maybe more well equipped for that because of my chronic illness before this transition. But yeah. Yeah, I'd say definitely just, you know, when you say no, you don't have to feel bad, you don't have to, you know, feel like you have to explain yourself to anybody.

Mm-hmm. With your illness or not just saying no in general to anything. So I think that, um, yeah, that's what I tell most mom. Maybe new moms that I know is. Uh, you know, that's going on. Just say no. Yeah. And just don't overthink it. And just, you have to take, again, take care of yourself first before you can help anybody else.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. You've taken your struggles and your pain and really turned it into [00:47:00] purpose. Whether that's connecting with people online, letting them know you're not alone advocating for endometriosis awareness. What would you say to women who are like, I wanna do that too. I wanna take my pain and turn it into purpose.

Alaia: I mean, again, other people reaching out to me has been the biggest, you know, driver into continuing to do that and mm-hmm. I mean, I always wanted to do that, but, uh, I feel like once you know, you get maybe one person to come up to you, whether that's like a friend or family member or a random person on the internet, uh, it also makes you feel so validated and heard and seen, and it's a type of connection that.

You know, you can't have with anybody else who doesn't like anything in life, struggle with that same, uh, you know, illness or mental health, uh, you know, struggle or any struggle. Mm-hmm. Just like anything in life. So having that [00:48:00] connection to a complete stranger, uh, it's not just that you're helping them, it's like also healing you a part of yourself.

Mm. So I think that is, you know. Uh, what keeps me do to, you know, continue to do that and anybody, you know, it might be more uncomfortable for other women compared to, you know, me and my personality. 'cause it's not that hard to, you know, get over that hurdle to talk about it, you know, in front of other people.

But I feel like the first time you do, you just have opened, you know, a door to, you know, a feeling of. Understanding and empathy and compassion for others, and also for yourself, and knowing that you're not alone. So yeah, I say just do it. Yeah. I don't really, it's not that complicated, but again, most people I know are not very comfortable, you know, just openly talking about those things.

Mm-hmm. So I understand. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. Well I [00:49:00] think it's one thing that you've said multiple times, and it's so true within this community is not feeling alone. Mm-hmm. Because, and I think that's such the power of social media and why we're seeing much more change and also, um, backlash on medicine is because for years we've been.

One off Gaslit in office. It's isolated. Alone. We started talking about our struggles on social media. We started connecting with one another. It's something that through 29 years of struggling with endometriosis, not knowing it, multiple miscarriages and being told like you were just old. That's like you whole problem is you're old.

That's why you're having miscarriages. Like I have taken that. Struggle, and I'm like, never will I ever let another woman struggle in that way. Mm-hmm. If I am part of her life, I'm gonna talk about this, I'm gonna make sure that they're aware of it. And I feel like we're seeing so many other women. This is where people are like.

I had someone [00:50:00] tell me like, oh, you should deal with like that medical rage you have, like that anger you have. And I'm like, I am. I'm taking all of that rage and that anger of what was said to me when I was 14 and I'm channeling it into my work now to be like, mm-hmm. If I can prevent just one woman from having to struggle in that way, like that's what I wanna do.

I'm curious, looking back at your younger self like. You're a mom now. Like you've had, you've had time to, you know, work with your health, you've had time to grow and mature. What would you look back and say to your younger self that you wish you would've known then? I think I would 

Alaia: say to definitely judge yourself less.

Um, as much as I thought I wasn't at the time, I definitely was. Yeah. Um, you know, also the guilt. You know how it's translated into mom guilt now, but before guilt of, you know, not making it to things, not, you know, [00:51:00] being there for everything all the time for your friends and family. Uh, you know, definitely I.

Giving myself more grace and time and patience and less judgment, because I thought at the time I wasn't doing that, but I so was. Um, so yeah, giving yourself the space again to be okay with not being okay instead of just spiraling in your head about all the things you're missing or could be doing or aren't getting done.

That's, that's definitely what I would say. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Alaia: Especially, I'd say giving myself more grace. Beautiful. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. Well, thank you so much for sitting down. Thank you for being so honest and open with your story and for advocating for those who maybe aren't in a place to advocate for themselves right now.

 

Thank you. It's the least that I can do. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If this is the kind of content you're into, then I highly recommend checking out [00:52:00] this.