Autonomic Nervous System Dysregulation? Try This for Instant Calm | Meliza Mokrani

Dr. Brighten: [00:00:00] Welcome back to the Dr. Brighton Show. I'm your host, Dr. Jolene Brighton. I'm board certified in naturopathic endocrinology, a nutrition scientist, a certified sex counselor, and a certified menopause specialist. As always, I'm bringing you the latest, most UpToDate information to help you take charge of your health and take back your hormones.

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Don't forget to subscribe, leave a comment, or share this with a friend because it helps this podcast get out to everyone who needs it. Alright, let's dive in. Many people are unknowingly stuck in survival mode. How can people tell if they're sabotaging their relationships, their lifestyle, their happiness in life?

Meliza: Hmm. Well, one thing I would suggest, uh, as a, as a first place to start is really understanding your nervous system. Mm-hmm. Understanding how that has implications on your reactivity, your emotions, your ability to, to self-regulate. Um, one of the ways that I like to do that is through a trigger journal Oh.

And understanding, um, what your triggers may be. Right. So, hey, I had a disproportionate reaction to something. And that can come through your own self-awareness mm-hmm. Of you recognizing like, [00:02:00] I overreacted to something. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. Or 

Meliza: maybe a loved one gently telling you like, yo, that was not cool. Right. And here's why.

And taking that time to cultivate the self-awareness, having the courage to address yourself and understand like, hey. Why am I like this, right? Mm-hmm. Um, so by using a trigger journal, uh, it helps you kind of create, cultivate that self-awareness and it, it might seem painful for some people to, to go through this process, but it can help you identify like, what was the trigger?

Where did this come from, and, and what can I do about it? Mm-hmm. And when you begin to understand these things about yourself, then you can make the necessary changes, whether it's to, you know, regulating your nervous system and, and the stress responses that you're having addressing trauma that may be impacted, those responses that you have, right.

That, that, that [00:03:00] programming that we all get from early childhood and into, you know, our adolescence and adulthood. Um, and also, you know. Help cultivate tools that can regulate you in the moment. So when you cultivate the self-awareness over time mm-hmm. You catch yourself, you start catching yourself and that helps you mitigate those reactions.

Right? Helps you mitigate the self-sabotaging behaviors, the challenges in the relationships, maybe you know, self-sabotaging behavior in your work, right. Or in your parenting style. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. What's a trigger journal and how does someone, you know, develop that? I think the word trigger gets thrown around a lot these days.

Um, and you'll see people who are like, you shouldn't say something triggered you, because it's not this extreme of like PTSD style. And yet I think. There are things that trigger the nervous system, that set things off and that [00:04:00] maybe we don't have a robust enough language to really like parse that out.

But when people are using the word trigger, it's a sensation that something set me into this fight, flight, fawn, freeze kind of mode, the sympathetic overdrive. So what you're saying is we need to identify those triggers. Mm-hmm. We need to make a journal, talk us through that, because it's very hard in the moment to know what sets you off.

So how can people identify it and then how does that fit into this journal? 

Meliza: Yeah, that's a really good question. Um, I would start by addressing the notion of a trigger. Right? Mm-hmm. A trigger doesn't necessarily have to be a negative thing, right? A trigger is just a, a stimuli, a catalyst, right? So it can trigger the sympathetic activation, right?

Where you have the whatever response you may have, be it good or bad, right? Sometimes we need those necessary responses because your sympathetic nervous system is there to keep you safe. Mm-hmm. Right? If that tiger's chasing you, it's there to serve and, and help you run, right? [00:05:00] Um, but a trigger can also help you shift into the parasympathetic state that rest and digest, um, state where relaxation happens.

Recovery happens. Now, I like to keep a trigger journal for both, okay? Right. Because it's important to understand what stimulates you in the wrong way and what stimulates you in the right way. Mm-hmm. Right? So we can look at, um. You know, to me, I just keep two columns, right? It doesn't have to be anything fancy.

Right. You have a, a journal that you keep for the day and you keep it with you, so make sure it's portable. Okay. I, I actually keep one in my backpack that's like pocket size. It's a tiny little mole skin. Do you prefer handwritten over doing something like Apple Notes? Everybody's different, right? Okay.

You do whatever. Works for you. For me, I personally need the actual physical act. Mm-hmm. The kinetic, you know, motion of of writing to be [00:06:00] able to like integrate. Um, so on one column you keep the activation, the fight, flight, freezer font, sympathetic activation mm-hmm. Triggers. And on the other side you keep the parasympathetic, the, the relaxation stuff.

Take note of things throughout your day that make you feel triggered. And by triggered that can stimulate a response of maybe your heart rate accelerated. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Maybe you started feeling nervous, maybe something terrified you and you got a little belly ache. Right? Yeah. Keep note of those things. Keep note of the good, of the things that make you feel good.

I had a really great hug with a friend, right? Mm-hmm. That like. Made me feel really good. Yeah. I had a good phone conversation with my sister that made me feel really good. Right. We have a tendency to get kind of locked into like the negative things that. Are impacting our lives and sometimes we lose sight of, of the goodness and the joy.

Um, and part of being human. And I [00:07:00] refer to like humanity a lot because I'm interested in being human. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. 

Meliza: And living a long human life that's filled with, you know, a friend of mine always says life is filled with 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows, and I wanna be present for all of them. Mm-hmm. And understand them.

Um, so, you know, keeping track of this. And over time, you know, I like to, when I work with my coaching clients, I have them do a weekly review. Right. And take note of thematic elements that show up in whatever triggers you're looking at. Right. Maybe it's the sympathetic triggers, and maybe you're focusing on that for, you know, wherever you're at in, in your healing journey.

Um, and look at the themes. Yeah. And that gives you information, right? 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: We can't heal what we don't understand, and in order to understand the dysfunction that is in our bodies, right? And in our emotional body and in our spiritual body, we have to [00:08:00] understand where these things are coming from.

Mm-hmm. And I think this is often the missing link in, you know, total wellbeing and healing, but especially within the context of self-awareness is, is really like having nervous system literacy. That's what I call it. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. I think one, this is a fantastic tool because you're being very mindful. All throughout your week, throughout your day, and you're not just focusing on the negative.

I am gonna take this a step further. 'cause I love this idea. I'm like, I'm gonna pick this up. I'm gonna start practicing it and I'm actually gonna put it into a word cloud. So if people don't know what that is, you can take, um, you can take a data set of any kind. So, uh, and so if you are doing this in digital form, this is gonna be really easy to do.

But if you're not, you can type this up and then you put the words, you can just Google Word cloud, you put the words in there and it will actually give a visual representation mm-hmm. [00:09:00] Of where things are at. I'm a very visual person and it will show you, in this, it makes, you know how clouds have like little lumps, little bubbles.

Um, it's gonna do that. And so it will show you. If you're disproportionately saying, like my mother-in-law, for example, I have a great mother-in-law, uh, just Kathy, if you're listening, I love you. Um, but you know, if that's what it is for you, that bubble will be predominant. So I love this idea and I'm like, oh, if I could take this and put it into word cloud, it would show me, because I have a tendency like a lot of women to be like, Hmm, it's probably not that bad.

Maybe you're just focusing, putting it in that visual representation is a great way to mirror it to you. The other thing I love is focusing on the parasympathetic activation because when you are in sympathetic overdrive, your brain doesn't work. Cortisol is like, all we're thinking about is not dying, and that's it.

And so when you're in that sympathetic state, having a resource you can open up and look at and be like, what makes me feel good is absolutely brilliant. Now, for [00:10:00] people who are listening, they may not recognize when they're actually in that sympathetic overdrive. I think it's become super normalized. How can someone know their sympathetic nervous system is working over time?

Yeah. Um, 

Meliza: you asked such great questions. So my theory is that the vast majority of people are in some level of a sympathetic overdrive. Agree. Um, I mean, you know, at my wellness center in Berkeley, you know, we serve thousands of people and I can tell you that without fail, 99% of them are. Overstressed.

Mm-hmm. And that's because we live in an unnatural way. Right? We're constantly, constantly stimulated, whether it's by, you know, the gadgets that we have, it's the, it can be the work stress, it can be the, the stress of parenting while parenting is, is remarkable and [00:11:00] magical. It can also be a very stressful experience.

It can be relational dynamics. It can be someone cutting you off on the road. It can be the, you know, geopolitical challenges and, and or, you know, societal challenges that, that we're facing today. And, you know, it can make the world feel like an unsafe place. And when there is that level of, or, you know, such, such a lack of safety, right?

That activates and reinforces that sympathetic overdrive. Now there's also the component of like. Our childhood development. Mm-hmm. Right. The parenting that we receive, the, you know, if we've faced any adverse childhood, you know, events, right? Mm-hmm. Um, or any sort of traumas that may have impacted, you know, the way our brain functions and, and the adaptive, you know, qualities that are our bodies and our nervous systems developed over time to keep us safe, but have perhaps [00:12:00] become maladaptive.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. You know, 

Meliza: later in life. Um, so it's really. It's variable for every person, right? Yeah. Everybody has their own lived experience. Everybody has, you know, the, the, the, the landscape of the quilt of their life, right? Mm-hmm. And we're all weaving more into it as we live the lives that we're living. Um, but one way to, to be able to understand that is like, okay, well, am I experiencing incessant anxiety?

Yeah. Do I have sleep disruption? Um, for, for women especially, right? What is your cycle? What is your menstrual cycle like, right? Mm-hmm. Because the capacity for, um, disruption within the context of the menstrual cycle, that's such a huge indicator, right? When, when women develop amenorrhea or, you know, have irregulatory ovulation or, you know, ovulatory dysfunction, those are huge [00:13:00] indicators that you might be in a sympathetic dominant state, your hair starts falling out, right?

Mm-hmm. Uh, there's also weight gain, particularly, you know, around the, the midsection. That's a common, you know, indicator. Um, I would also say sleep disruption is, is really like mm-hmm. Pretty. Pretty telling insomnia, poor sleep, quality. You know, you go to sleep, you wake up not feeling particularly rested.

Right? These are indicators that give you information so that you can do something about it. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. And 

Meliza: it might all sound like doom and gloom and, you know, horrifying. And it's like, oh my God, I'm broken. I'm not, no, I'm a testament personally, and, and you know, with all the clients that I work with, that you can shift it, you can, you can create drastic, remarkable change in yourself.

You have to have the courage to address 

Dr. Brighten: yourself. Mm-hmm. So you're not [00:14:00] broken. Your nervous system is just dysregulated. How can understanding this one thing help people not just alleviate stress, but improve their self-worth? 

Meliza: Oh my gosh. Love that question. So. Your nervous system is intrinsically tied to your emotional response, right?

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Um, it has an impact on, on the limbic system, right? You have your autonomic nervous system, which I'll break down the nervous system later, but, um, 

Dr. Brighten: no, no, no. I think we should break down the nervous system right now, and then I'll ask you this question again. Okay. Because I'm like, I feel we started this conversation, I'm like, hold up.

Maybe people don't understand sympathetic, parasympathetic, everything we're talking about. Totally. That's my bad as the host. 

Meliza: Totally. No worries. Um, okay, so your central, uh, excuse me, your nervous system can be firstly divided into two. Sets, right? You have the central nervous system, which is the brain and the spinal cord.

It's like the boss of the body, right? Mm-hmm. It [00:15:00] processes, processes, information, sends messages to the rest of the body. Then you have the peripheral nervous system, which extends out of the, you know, spinal cord and you know the spine, and has peripheral nerves that dictate sensation and movement. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm.

Meliza: Now, in the peripheral nervous system that can be broken down into the, um, somatic nervous system, which dictates sensations, right? The senses, taste, touch, smell, eyesight, hearing, but also it dictates motor function, voluntary motor function. So I'm raising my right arm, I'm lowering my right arm, right?

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: And then you have the autonomic nervous system. The autonomic nervous system is really kind of. Responsible for the involuntary elements that, or excuse me, involuntary actions that happen in the body, such as blinking res rate of respiration, heart rate, heart rate variability, blood pressure, [00:16:00] and digesting food to name a few.

Mm-hmm. And the autonomic nervous system can be broken down into three categories. You have the sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. This is those moments where there's a perceived threat. Mm-hmm. And this is a system that's there to keep you safe. Right. It shunts, you know, blood away from your midsection or your digestion and sends it into your muscles and dumps glucose in your muscles so that you have the capacity to, to run and escape the.

Dr. Brighten: The, the tiger chasing. And can you explain fond to people, because that's a much more newer concept to this. 

Meliza: Yeah. Um, it is, it's interesting because, you know, there's different, different ways to explain it. But my understanding of it and, and my personal experience of it is like, it's almost a people pleasing behavior.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And who does this most? Women. Women, yes. [00:17:00] It's almost a people pleasing behavior. It's like, I have to please you to keep myself safe. Mm-hmm. 

Dr. Brighten: And which is sometimes a very valid survival mechanism. It's. It, they're all 

Meliza: useful. Mm-hmm. That's the thing, like it's not the enemy. Right. These are all useful things that help us stay safe and, and keep us safe, you know?

Um, I don't, I don't think it's a bad thing, you know, I personally, you know, as a child fond a lot mm-hmm. Because I grew up in a violent household. Um, so yeah, that's a, that's a pretty typical one. Um, and then you have the parasympathetic nervous system. That's the rest and digest that governs your ability to relax your capacity for athletic recovery.

Right. Recovering from, uh, exercise or, you know, whatever [00:18:00] stimuli you experienced. And that's an important component, right? The two balance each other. Now the third component of the autonomic nervous system is the enteric nervous system. Mm-hmm. And that governs, governs your digestion. For the sake of the conversation, we'll focus on sympathetic and parasympathetic, because the enteric is kind of intrinsically tied to those two, especially after, especially people 

Dr. Brighten: just hearing rest and digest.

Yeah. Uh, yeah. Sometimes I feel like sympathetic and parasympathetic. There are sometimes, like always bullying the enteric nervous system of percent is our priority. 

Meliza: Yeah. Yeah, a hundred percent. And, and it's contingent on those two and where they are, like, where the activation is. Mm-hmm. Um, so that's kind of the breakdown of, of the nervous system and its functions.

Now, whenever I explain. You know, the impact of the nervous system on the body to people. I always think of a marionette doll. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Right? And it's, it's kind of holding the strings right above the body and it has this [00:19:00] cascade effect. It can affect your hormonal balance, it can affect your cognitive function, your rate of respiration, your heart rate, your blood pressure, um, your capacity for athletic recovery, your motor functions, your digestion, your immune system.

Mm-hmm. I mean, it's really the king. So when we look at total wellbeing, we have to consider this, right? We have to consider stress. Stress can be such a significant culprit, um, in, in the manifestation of, of disease and, and dysfunction in the body. And I always, you know, feel that it's important to break down stress.

Mm-hmm. When considering the nervous system, because you have. You know, hermetic stress, which is the good kind of stress that we dose our bodies with for, you know, in short spurts, for short amount of, short periods of time, for long-term benefit. Mm-hmm. Right. That's exercise, that's cold plunging, that's heat [00:20:00] exposure.

That's, you know, uh, holotropic breath work. Right. But there's also chronic stress. Mm-hmm. And, and chronic stress can be defined as, you know, prolonged exposure to a state of stress. Right. That is due to ongoing pressures or threats as opposed to short-term challenges. Now stress is part of life. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm.

Meliza: Right. And in order for us to truly be resilient to the short term challenges that we face, that that feed our growth. Right. That, that give us the opportunity to, to be better as we get older and, and as we learn and we become wiser, is that, you know. We need to have that stress resilience. If you're experiencing chronic stress in your life, you, your stress, resilience will go down.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: And if you're a woman, and this is the thing that, I mean, 87% of my [00:21:00] clients are females. Yeah. So if you're a woman who's cycling right. Your stress resilience goes down every month. Mm-hmm. During the luteal phase of your cycle, if you're a menopausal woman, your stress resilience tanks when your estrogen tanks.

Mm-hmm. Because estrogen is so. Remarkably protective of stress, right? 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. So you mentioned holotropic breath. There's a lot of people who have never heard that before. Can you explain what that is? It's not my favorite kind of breath work. 

Meliza: Oh. What is as a recovering person of, of sympathetic hyperactivation.

Yeah. Let me just 

Dr. Brighten: say, I, I actually, uh, the first time I did holotropic breathing, I was at a MINDBODY Green retreat and they had guru Ja there, um, leaning us through it. And it was wild. It was wild. And I remember that experience and I was like, if people could do this, why would they ever do drugs? Yeah.

Like, [00:22:00] because the experience is so 

Meliza: euphoric. Euphoric, yeah. Yeah. So it can, um, holotropic breathing is like a very forced and controlled sort of breathing. There's different techniques for it, but it's really, um, intended to activate the sympathetic mm-hmm. Nervous system. It's characterized oftentimes by short inhales and short exhales.

Um, it's that animal breath. It's also, you know, considered fire breathing, right? Mm-hmm. And the reason I'm not crazy about it is if you have someone who does not know how to breathe or doesn't know how to manage that response, it can send them over the edge. 

Dr. Brighten: There's a lot of people who have had panic attacks that have reported negative things, and I really love the way we were read, we were led through it because it started with like, we were doing essentially box breathing.

Then we started expanding the exhale more. And so at the entire first session was working on [00:23:00] understanding your breath, getting into parasympathetic, and then we were like, okay, now we're gonna go into this exercise of holotropic breathing. And it, the way it was explained to me, because I was new to it, was.

If you go from zero to holotropic, you are going to send somebody into a panic attack where sometimes they're even paralyzed. Their nervous system is responding, where they're breaking down in tears, like they're in a complete panic because their nervous system has identified that death is eminent.

Mm-hmm. Whether or not that was actually happening. I want people to understand, even with just your breathing, you can teach your nervous system that you are under the threat of death and your nervous system wants survival at any cost. 

Meliza: A hundred percent. I think, um, bringing that consciousness right, these are all mindfulness practices.

The trigger journal is a, is a form of a mindfulness practice. Understanding your breath is a form of mindfulness. It's, it's cultivating that self-awareness to, to [00:24:00] understand where you're at. So the responsible way as which is what you experienced, is to bring someone through. You know, a series of stages mm-hmm.

Of breath work before you go into that holotropic breathing. And then once you get to that peak or the climax, which is the holotropic, you also have to bring them back down the hill. Yes. You know, and help create safety and calm and understanding, um, that you're okay. Mm-hmm. Right. You can breathe. Um, ho tropic breath work can, can create, you know, euphoric experiences.

Some people have visuals. Um, a lot of people can have their trauma triggered. Mm-hmm. Um, during, you know, these breath work experiences. I've myself, I've experienced that myself, you know, where like midway through I'm crying hysterically. Not because I am [00:25:00] thinking I'm gonna die, but I'm having such a strong visual of something that happened to me.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: And it's breaking my heart. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Um, and you have to be in a good place to be able to, to go there. Yeah. Right. You have to have an understanding. And also the importance of having a guide. I cannot stress this enough, A skilled breath work facilitator, not one of these charlatans that you see on Instagram, 

Dr. Brighten: you know?

How do you identify a charlatan on Instagram when it comes to breath work? 

Meliza: Oh gosh. Um, they're usually, actually, I don't want to, I don't wanna talk shit. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. But I think it's really important because I am of the mindset that we don't need more censorship. We need to teach people how to critically think because, uh, slippery, slippery slope with censorship.

Right? A hundred percent. And I always wanna be cautious, and sometimes people are speaking their truth. Yeah. And it's true for them that [00:26:00] it's not true for you. And that doesn't need to be censored just because there's no scientific consensus about the experience they're having. So I'm very cautious around that.

And yet at the same time, I want my audience to be able to identify like, what are red flags? Sometimes the red flag is like, I will say this in the perimenopause menopause community is you've got a 19-year-old fitness trainer who is telling you it's not your hormones. Don't make menopause an excuse. You can do anything.

And this girl has never experienced the estrogen deficit that causes substantial inflammation. Pain in your joints causes visceral adiposity, so belly fat to accumulate, which leads to insulin resistance. Like she doesn't even know that exists. She's never experienced that. And yet she's telling women, what's true for me at 19 is true for you at 50, and you need to stop making excuses.

Red flag. Red flag. I was, I mean, people for years had like, I was in my twenties and people were like, please, please, please make menopause content. And I was like. I feel like torn about that [00:27:00] because yes, I have the knowledge. Yes, I manage menopause. Yes, yes. I prescribe hormones and all this. And at the same time, I wouldn't want to be in that stage in life and have this 20 something telling me what it's like.

Like I'm just like trying to be like, walk that line of being very respectful. Um, and so I don't think that age necessarily has to be the barrier, but when I think you haven't lived enough Yeah. And you're telling people who are decades ahead on the road before you, that you know their experience better than them.

That's a good time for you to be quiet. Stop. So, so we wanna talk about like, what are the red flags when it comes to like breath work and people telling because there are people. I think they have good intentions. They don't have enough knowledge and experience to know that they are crossing a line in a boundary.

So for somebody listening, how can they identify that and keep themselves safe? 

Meliza: Yeah, I think, um, well first of all, the relatability component is so critical, you know, within the context of, of any like, health, whatever [00:28:00] journey that you're on, right? Mm-hmm. Like I might be relatable to you as a nervous system, you know, health coach, right?

I might not be relatable to, you know. John Doe mm-hmm. Because of my background and who I am. So that does matter. Right? That matters in terms of even finding a, a provider, right? Yeah. Like a, uh, someone who's gonna be able to address your health. You know, I would probably be more likely to want to come to you at, given, you know, our similar backgrounds and our, and our life stories as opposed to wanting to go to someone else.

Right. Um, so relatability is important, but from the, for the, from the standpoint of safety, a basic certification is, is critical. Mm-hmm. You know, most breath work facilitators will name what certification they've performed. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. Look 

Meliza: into it, see if it's accredited. Try to understand, you know, who came up with these theories, um, [00:29:00] you know, do your due diligence.

Right. Uh, an investor isn't gonna invest in a business without getting into the data room and, and doing their due diligence. And you should consider that within the context of your health as an investment. Mm-hmm. Right. Um, and then one thing I also see a lot of is, um, you know, when there's like not enough scientific evidence and too much of the woo, don't get me wrong, I 

Dr. Brighten: love the woo.

Yeah. And we can't study everything, but I think I know what you're saying and the fact that what I find it, it is the, um, outlandish claims of like a cure all or this mm-hmm. The one solution, or saying that, you know, based on this one study, that like, therefore this is fact. And it's like that's utterly unscientific.

Yes. Yes. And it's like, we can respect that science is. So immature. I really think people need to understand that science is in its infancy. [00:30:00] Uh, the medicine that is practiced in the United States is in its infancy. When you look at something and you compare it to Chinese medicine, Ayurveda, like a lot of these other medicines that Western Medicine has said, like has no efficacy.

Now, now the research has come out and then it's funny 'cause then you go see a medical doctor that's like, I got a weekend certificate in acupuncture because like, you know, there's research on it. And I tell patients all the time. If your medical doctor did not like dedicate four years and like an internship residency to Chinese medicine, just because it was just like, you know, just because it says a gallbladder point doesn't mean it's affecting the gallbladder.

Like, um, as part of my training, we did have to study Chinese medicine and we had the opportunity to do a dual of like going down the route of Chinese medicine. I never thought I could do both and, and do it well. Like I should refer to someone else who's dedicating their life to that. But they taught us enough to respect it, to understand [00:31:00] our limitations and like how it works so that you can make that referral.

That's a little bit of a, a digression, but just to say, you know, on your point, I do wanna echo checking people's credentials. I am, it's a big red flag for me when someone says they're a doctor, but they don't say what kind of doctor they are. There are. Literally weekend certificates or online programs where you earn a doctorate and then they act as if they can practice medicine, which is false.

I hate that this happens because I think it's really, um, it's really difficult and dangerous for the consumer. Uh, the other, like I had a woman the other day who like came on and was like saying all this stuff and she's like, well, I have a PhD. And I was like, well, excuse me, what is your PhD in your handle on your social media?

Nowhere is your real name listed. Like, I can't vet you. I can't look at, she was so mad at me for asking and I was like, want people to understand that's a red flag? Mm-hmm. Because anybody [00:32:00] who has legitimately earned their credentials, we are not going to be upset that you ask for them. No. We've worked hard for them.

Yeah. We're very proud of them. Like, we're gonna give them to you. So I think it's really unfortunate. And for people to understand that if your provider, if the person has a medical license, there are boards that make sure that they're following the law to a t. Mm-hmm. I can't step outta line. I'm also a rule follower, so I wouldn't, um, like, I would, like, would have anxiety about that.

Um, but if you are not licensed mm-hmm. Then nobody's really governing you. So as a naturopathic physician, which is how my license reads, there's a lot of people who will impersonate what I do, and they're like, well, I'm a naturopathic doctor. And when you ask 'em more about it, they've never even studied anywhere.

They're just calling themselves that. And because they're not licensed, nobody's checking up on them. That work? Close my mind. It's wild, wild west out there. Breath work's not regulated. Mm-hmm. And I think people [00:33:00] think breath work is benign. Everybody breathes. So therefore it's not a problem. But I always say to people, and everybody drinks water, but if you do too much of that or you do too much water after dehydration, you could find yourself in critical care in the hospital.

Yeah. Like, just because this is a natural, normal thing we're all doing doesn't mean there aren't consequences when you step out of normal parameters. And I think holotropic breath, for example, is outside of normal parameters. Mm-hmm. And we have to be cautious with it. Not that it doesn't have power, just like cold plunging, right?

Mm-hmm. You think about fasting, all the women, all the biohackers are like fast like us. I really, I should be like, no, write a book that says like, do not fast, like men don't do it. Please don't do it. Yeah. 

Meliza: I mean, I think scope of practice is, is really critical. You know, I mean this is a challenge I, I face with, you know.

And I think this is something that social media has really perpetuated is, um, is the [00:34:00] charlatans of the bunch. You know, you'll see chiropractors acting outside of their scope of practice, right. And making claims around whatever, you know, could be around fasting, it could be around gut health. And, you know, they're wearing a stethoscope around their neck, and it's like, that's not really your scope of practice.

And there's so many people out there that are phenomenal experts in, in what they do. Mm-hmm. There's, you know, licensed board certified naturopathic, you know, and you're board certified in endocrinology, right? Mm-hmm. You know, there, and I mean, there's so many people out there, you know, go find them. Don't just stick with the Instagram or TikTok influencer and it's, it, it can be really dangerous.

Um. And also costly because a lot of these people charge exorbitant amounts of money for, for their services and, um, they may not be fully qualified. So, you know, just, just do your due [00:35:00] diligence. Mm-hmm. Um, and be mindful of that. I will say that, you know, like I said, the breath work community is, is starting to, there are accreditation, um, programs that are accrediting, uh, you know, different breathwork training.

So you know, you can, you can research that Google. Mm-hmm. Chat. GBT is always great for 

Dr. Brighten: finding resources on that. I love you Bring up chat GPT though, because I think chat, GPT is not a place to get medical advice, but Chad GPT is a place to. Educate yourself further on something. Mm-hmm. Like, my doctor said this, what does that mean?

And like you can help refine questions and, and say like, what should I ask my doc based on this? What should I be asking my doctor? Oh my God, yes. What kind of labs should I ask them? And I really love that people have access to that tool. I wanna talk about adverse childhood events. You brought that up.

You also brought up that you had a very stressful childhood. I am curious in your Algerian. Do you [00:36:00] think there's a cultural component to that? Because I, I ask that because I come from chola culture. Um, all my Latinas will know. Um, and anyone who is seen in Kto understands that, like I was, I was Luisa like, when you're the oldest child, you don't have emotions.

You carry everything for everybody. You make sure that everybody's, you are the second mother in the house. Um, and like if you do not perform your duties or you step out of line, the chola, for people who don't know what that is, it's a flip flop. You are like, madre might be like chucking that across the room at your head.

Uh, these things literally happen in our culture and it's really only in newer generations that we see people, uh, stepping away. So with that context, I'd like to understand more like the cultural component. Talk to people about what ACE scores are, and then I wanna get into like, how can people start to heal their nervous system from childhood up?

Meliza: Well, first of all, thank you for sharing that. Um. [00:37:00] The chola culture is, it's real, it's it's universal. Uh, in Algeria, it's like the Tufa. Yeah. You know, and mom has great aim with that. I know. She can. It's like a, 

Dr. Brighten: like Kobe could never Yeah. 

Meliza: She, she can hit three kids all at once, you know, and in one shot. Um, to answer your question about, you know, culture.

Yes. The short answer is, is yes. Right. There are, um, different understandings, right. Of how to raise children. Mm-hmm. Um, and those vary around the world. There's also, you know, I being raised by immigrants, right? Yep. Um, my parents experienced unimaginable terror in their lives. Mm-hmm. Um, my father, you know.

Had to become the breadwinner of his [00:38:00] family at 13 when his dad died, right? 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. 

Meliza: He left Algeria at 17 and went and worked on Italian ships and as a deck hand. And then he worked in the galley making coffee. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Right. And that man worked himself to the bone and he had tremendous survival tactics.

Mm-hmm. Right. He was so resourceful and that resourcefulness came from a lifetime of, of distress. You know, at 18, you know, he was home visiting his family. A bomb dropped on his house. Oh 

Dr. Brighten: my 

Meliza: gosh. You know, and he survived it and had a broken femur. Was in the hospital for three months. Right. Like, talk about resilience.

Um, went to culinary school in France. Became a very successful chef, traveled all over the world, settled in [00:39:00] Napa, um, and did really well for himself in, in Napa. My mother, you know, grew up during the Algerian War for Independence, um, a very, very brutal time, uh, when the French, you know, who had occupied Algeria for 132 years were dealing with, you know, all sorts of guerrilla warfare tactics, but they had taken every male adult and adolescent to prison.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Right. My mother is the youngest of 10. She grew up without her dad and her brothers and, and really only met her dad a couple of times before he died because, oh my 

Dr. Brighten: gosh. 

Meliza: He was tortured so much that he developed a cardiac issue. The French, if you don't know, were extremely brutal in their, um, torture tactics and, uh, were, um.

Electrocuting men by their testicles. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And that happened to my, uh, [00:40:00] grandfather and he developed a cardiac issue. They let him outta prison. He died three days later. Oh my gosh. And so, you know, and then the violence, right? Yeah. My mother endured un unbelievable levels of violence in her life from her sisters, from neighbors.

She endured sexual violence. And, um, it's a miracle that she had the capacity for kindness. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: And for goodness, the flip side of that. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. Well, I want people to understand that what you just identified are. Several ACE scores. Yeah. More than several. Mm-hmm. ACE scores, having a family member that goes to jail.

Um, sexual assault, abuse, like there's many things. So your parents were set up for nervous system dysregulation. A hundred percent. And for people to understand that, if that's not resolved, this is not to blame moms at [00:41:00] all. If that's not resolved, the dysregulation of the pregnant woman imprints the dysregulation on the fetus.

Subsequent baby. 

Meliza: A hundred percent. There's, you know, there's the epigenetic component, uh, that goes even beyond the mother. Right. It goes to the grandmother as well. Mm-hmm. Um, because if a, a grandmother is pregnant with a female fetus Right. And every female is born with all the eggs that she'll ever have, that actually impacts 

Dr. Brighten: mm-hmm.

Meliza: Multiple generations. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. 

Meliza: Um, so yeah. I mean, both of my parents experienced. Horrifying things, you know? Mm-hmm. And I feel so honored, um, that they made the decisions that they made to come to America. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: And, and to, to live out the American dream. Right. Um, they were the two hardest working people I've ever met in my entire life.

Uh, and I know that they wanted the [00:42:00] best. For my siblings and I, and like you, I'm the oldest daughter. And, uh, with that comes great responsibility and duty. 

Dr. Brighten: We're the very much the spidermans of the house. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. With great power becomes great, rose becomes great responsibility. Exactly. Exactly.

I'm a Marvel nerd. 

Meliza: I've become one through my son. Um, and so, you know the expectations, right? Mm-hmm. That the, the, the implications of those expectations. You know, I, I had, you know, to get straight A's, I had to be the best at everything I did. My father used to always say, you must always be the best at anything you do.

Mm-hmm. And he would always give me this story of, of being the only Arab in his school, because my father's family was. More well off. Mm-hmm. And so he went to, um, to school with, with the French kids [00:43:00] and he talked about the racism that he experienced. Mm-hmm. And the only thing that saved him was that he had high marks, high scores.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. You 

Meliza: know, they also had a lot of corporal punishment, so he got in trouble for the dumbest things, but you know, he'd always be like, you have to be the best at what you do. That was drilled into my head. Mm-hmm. And then of course, my mom had this unrealistic expectation. She had a tremendous insecurity around the fact that she was not educated and her number one goal in life is like, my kid's gonna go to the best universities and she's gonna be the best at this, and the best at that.

Mm-hmm. Um, that resulted in as a child being really over committed. Yeah. Right. So, you know, of course academic excellence was, was one of them. And. Having no help by the way, right? Mm-hmm. Because my father worked a lot and my mom was insecure about being uneducated, but still had this expectation that totally, oh, you're gonna get [00:44:00] straight A's, but you're gonna do it on your own.

Dr. Brighten: I was blown away in school when I learned that other people's parents helped them. Yeah. Those also had the same, my childhood is very similar in the expectations. Um, you know, having come from a immigrant family, um, the, the expectations are just, I mean, through the roof because they work so hard to get you to where you are.

And so that's not lost on me either. Um, and yet I just remember doing a science fair project and kids were talking about how their parents helped them, and I just remember having this moment of like. Wait, everybody's getting help at home. Like, I'm expected to get these As, and these grades I have to make honor roll without, um, fail.

Like in our small town, they would put it in the newspaper. Mm-hmm. Um, and so like, you know, every parent would check who is on there. Um, I look back at that and I was like, that is one of the, uh, most [00:45:00] psychologically draining things that ever ha like, I have to be in this newspaper. 'cause everybody will know.

Mm-hmm. If I'm not, um, you know, but just to your, your point about all of that. That, that type of stress is almost, it, it's, it's more matched to the stress that's put on adults to perform in their careers. 

Meliza: Yeah. I mean, that's where it starts. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. Right. 

Meliza: It starts with the parenting and it's, it's intrinsically tied.

At least for me, it was to my worth. Mm-hmm. Right. If I didn't perform well 

Dr. Brighten: as you say this, I'm like, it's still intrinsically tied to my worth. Yeah. This is something that I've been working on. That you're working 

Meliza: on. You know, I'm a work in progress as well, you know, I'm still healing and, and I'm committed to that for the rest of my life.

Mm-hmm. Right. I didn't have the childhood. I, I think I, I deserved. Right. Um, and it wasn't all bad, but. I have to, uh, one of my favorite [00:46:00] yoga instructors, um, always says, you're undoing a lifetime of doing. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: And so that's where we have to have patience and grace for ourselves, uh, through that journey.

But, you know, this is, this is where these unrealistic expectations, that pressure that we put on ourselves, and of course it's reinforced by society and, and what society thinks is, is if you're always producing, 

Dr. Brighten: then you're winning. Right? Oh, yeah. Like, and you always get that positive reinforcement. I'm curious, so through what your parents experienced and what through you experienced, how do these, you know, what, what get categorized as a score, but these traumatic events or stressful experiences, what do they do to a child's nervous system?

Meliza: Creates a tremendous amount of dysregulation. And, you know, the first way that you'll see it manifests is in behavioral mm-hmm. Issues, right. You may notice shutdowns, you may notice the, the opposite end of the spectrum of [00:47:00] where there's, you know, out outlet, you know, outcry for help and meltdowns and you know, et cetera.

Um, it sets your nervous system up for those adaptive behaviors becoming maladaptive later in life. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Right. The things that we have to do to keep ourselves safe. Um, you know, I can give you the example of, of my upbringing. Not only did I have those expectations of, of perfection, there were serious consequences.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: You know, I grew up fearing for my life. Mm-hmm. 

Dr. Brighten: Um, from the two people who are supposed to love you the most. Yeah. I can relate 

Meliza: mostly from my mother. Mm-hmm. Um, my father was just absent, you know, and I have to have compassion for him. You know, one of the things that comes from like. Understanding this stuff and, and really like having the courage to face it.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Is, is the difference between the [00:48:00] conceptual compassion where we can identify the challenges that our parents faced and we can intellectualize it Right. And, and say, oh, you know, their life was hard, therefore it makes sense. But having true heartfelt compassion is a totally different thing, and that can only come through you having compassion for yourself.

Mm. So 

Dr. Brighten: do you feel like having that compassion is part of the healing and actually can lend itself to more parasympathetic activity? 

Meliza: Mm-hmm. Giving yourself grace, having compassion for, you know, maybe what happened to you. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: And that it wasn't your fault. I experienced violence, you know, from my mother.

And I'm not talking about a spanking or smack on the butt. I'm talking about like. Right. Prison beatings. Mm-hmm. And you know, I have complex PTSD, um, [00:49:00] from those 

Dr. Brighten: experiences for people who don't know what that is, can you define that for us? And I wanna, I say I just, I appreciate, I know this is a very heavy conversation and you're sharing all this with us, and I don't wanna seem insensitive as I interject the things to make sure our listeners are on the same page.

No, it's okay. 

Meliza: Um, it's just, you know, it's post-traumatic stress disorder to the next level. Mm-hmm. Um, you can experience triggers, excuse me. Uh, I can tell you triggers that I experience is, um, if I see a parent, uh, physically disciplining a child or being too physical, I have wanted to beat them myself.

Mm-hmm. Um, when I hear a child screaming. Like that high pitched shrill, um, I, I freeze. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: And I immediately feel like this [00:50:00] cascade of like, pins and needles come over my body because it reminds me of when my mother would have these fits of rage and I would hear her hurting my brother and my sister.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: And you know, even talking about it makes me wanna cry 'cause it's, it's such a cruel thing. Mm-hmm. Um, so, you know, again, understanding these triggers, understanding these where these things come from for me 

Dr. Brighten: mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Um, was really integral into being able to do something about it. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. Right.

Meliza: Understanding my trauma and the thing that I was not, um, trauma informed. For most of my life. Mm-hmm. Right. What does trauma informed 

Dr. Brighten: mean? Like, I mean, that's a very new concept. I think most people listening to this probably heard that term, if at all, in the last five to seven years. 

Meliza: Yeah. And thank god.

Mm-hmm. Thank God we're talking about it. You know? Um, I didn't really [00:51:00] understand what trauma was, and I love how Bessel VanDerKolk, who is, you know, a remarkable trauma researcher, um, and he wrote the book, the Body Keeps the Score, how he defines trauma, excuse me, as total overwhelm. Mm-hmm. The experience of, of total overwhelm of, of like, my God, you know, and if that happens repeatedly, right to a child, um, or in the early years of life.

That can create dysfunction 

Dr. Brighten: mm-hmm. 

Meliza: In the nervous system. And in my case, not only did it happen repeatedly, it was unpredictable. Mm-hmm. 

Dr. Brighten: Which is, um, the number one way abusers get conformity mm-hmm. Out of their victims is to keep it unpredictable because then you never know when then a shoe's gonna drop.[00:52:00] 

So that lends itself to the chronic people pleasing that you were talking about. Oh, yeah. Um, and as you were talking about, I mean, it changes you at a physiological level, the brains of children who have, who even just gets spanked, which people are very flip flippant about that sometimes. But even just that actually will change a child's brain and the way their nervous system functions that will change the way their cortisol is responded to and how their cortisol operates through their whole life.

So not even the extreme violence you're talking about. But what some people believe is, you know, they're right as a parent to punish their child by inflicting pain. There is research to back up that it may very much shorten the lifespan of that individual's life because of the way it changes their nervous system and their hormones.

So I think that's really important for people to understand that piece, but [00:53:00] also understand that there is healing that can happen through this and that. Thankfully the brain is. We have neuroplasticity. It can, it's adaptive change. Adaptive, yeah, it's adaptive, right. We used to think like anything that happens that's a forever state, you know, having something like the C um, so post traumatic stress disorder for people to understand.

I think the best models that we actually have of that are people in the military. Mm-hmm. And there's been extensive research on that, that you go through a traumatic event and it changes your nervous system, it changes your cortisol receptors, it changes all of that response. You will always be primed for fight, flight, freeze, fawn.

And this is not your body betraying you. This is your body saying, when I was in my formative years, when you know, as I've learned, I need to be primed to go into the major sympathetic stress response so that I can survive. [00:54:00] So I'm sure you're gonna talk a bit about your healing journey, but for people who are listening to this, how do they start to take the first step towards healing?

It's multifaceted. Yeah. Of course. The healing is never linear and it's never one thing. And as much as like some of medicine has convinced us there's a pill for it, there's just not a pill for everything. Or really anything can be healed with a pill alone. 

Meliza: Yeah. I think it comes down to good old fashioned hard work.

Mm-hmm. You know, are you willing to do the work? That's the first question. Right. Have you had enough? Suffering in your life, have you created enough challenge for yourself? Um, because at the end of the day, you know what happened to you is what happened to you. Um, but you're an adult now. And you're living the life you're living and you're making the choices you're making, and you have the capacity to change that if you don't like them.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. [00:55:00] 

Meliza: Um, it's a harsh reality to have to face, but, 

Dr. Brighten: and I think just for people listening, I think that's very different than if you're currently in that cycle, that cycle of abuse, that Yes. Cycle of trauma. Um, just to differentiate that out, because it does sound harsh. I think if you take it from that context of like, but I'm a hundred percent currently in a situation where like maybe I'm experiencing domestic violence.

That's, you don't have the capacity to heal. Right. Because you are completely in survival. So we're talking about a different situation here. 

Meliza: Yes. And that actually ties into my, my experience and that, that wake up I had. But, um, it comes, you know, first and foremost, you gotta start with the will to, to change.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Secondly. Get yourself a trauma-informed therapist, right? That's gonna help guide you through the journey. Um, I have the best therapist ever who's amazing and has tolerated a lot of my garbage. But, [00:56:00] um, she's guided me in, in really beautiful ways because healing is hard. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: And my philosophy is that if you're going to do something hard, you should do it with intention and with support.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Um, anybody that tells you that they did it on their own or they climbed the top of the mountain by themselves is full of shit. I'm sorry. It's not, that's not, that's not real. Um, so find, you know, a supportive therapist and if, if therapy is, is not within, you know, your access or your reach, um, find a good friend.

You know, a, a safe person that you can trust that also has the capacity to support you through that. Um, and then I'd say, you know, take the time to cultivate that [00:57:00] self-awareness. Mm-hmm. Because you can't heal what you don't understand. And when I finally had the courage to address myself and had the space to do so right when I was no longer in that cycle of abuse, um, the healing happens fast.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: It's amazing how much the shifts happen quickly. And then also have a sense of faith. You know, it's not linear. The process, you know, is like you might sw swirl around and then you might go up and then you might go down and you might plateau. Right. Um, it's not a linear. Journey. And you have to be prepared for that.

But I also think it's phenomenally rewarding. And for me personally, to go from a space of, um, thinking I was broken, thinking that I had some [00:58:00] sort of, you know, pathologized predisposition to depression, um mm-hmm. That I was never gonna be happy, you know, to go from that to a place of I can feel joy, you know, and I can be present to like the wonder and beauty of this life, you know?

Mm-hmm. Because that's what it's about, right? Yeah. And I get emotional talking about it because I, I'm so inspired by it, you know? And that's, that's within us all, that we all have the capacity to access. Um. To access that, that experience of, of what it means to be human, that it can be like remarkably beautiful 

Dr. Brighten: for people who think self-care is all you need to fix your stress.

Why won't bubble baths and deep breathing be enough? 

Meliza: I love talking about this. [00:59:00] Um, so bubble baths are great. I love meia bubble baths. Unless you get A-U-T-I-I was gonna say card is the reason I don't take them so frequently. They're not good for, for me. Yeah. Um, but you know, if that makes you feel good, again, this goes back to the trigger journal, right?

Like identifying the things that feel good to you. Mm-hmm. You should do those things, but those cannot be the only things, right? Mm-hmm. Having a face mask, um, you know, or a facial, right. Going for a massage. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. 

Meliza: You know, massages can, if you're in like a. A triggered like stressful state and you go for a deep tissue massage.

What happens to your muscles when you're stressed out? Yeah, 

Dr. Brighten: they're, I probably have some right now 'cause I was flying this week. But you know, you get hypertonic, you get, uh, for people who don't know what that is, if you've ever had someone touch your shoulders and they're like, oh, those are like a rock.

Or [01:00:00] maybe you even have trigger points, right? Like there's knots in those muscles and the nervous system is just very angry in that concentrated position. 

Meliza: Yeah. So what happens when you go get a massage when you're in that state, your body's not gonna receive it, right? Mm-hmm. In fact, it may exacerbate it.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: People are always shocked to hear that. They're like, I just want a deep tissue massage. 'cause I have this tension. I'm like, the last thing you need right now is a deep tissue massage. Yeah. You need to go get an asuna and like switch into the parasympathetic state and maybe get more sleep. Mm-hmm.

You know, maybe take something off your plate. Um, so. I kind of stress the importance of science backed self-care. That's, you know, uh, my studio worthy self-care studio. That's everything we do. Everything we offer is focused on science backed self-care. So we use modalities that are going to create an impactful shift in your nervous system.

Mm-hmm. You know, whether that's through infrared [01:01:00] saunas, whether that's through a guided cold plunge, whether through, that's through compressive lymphatic therapy. Right. Or lymphatic drainage. Right. Which is actually how we met. '

Dr. Brighten: cause my lymphatic drainage practitioner in Paris introduced us. Yeah. 

Meliza: Yeah.

And to honey, she says hi, by the way. Oh, that's a dear friend of mine. So, um, but yeah, or you know, using red light therapy. Right. Um, so integrating science backed. Self-care is important because it, it does have to have a purpose. 

Dr. Brighten: So what does red light therapy do for stress? Like how is that helping? It's so delicious.

I love it. 

Meliza: Um, in essence, what red light therapy can trigger is a shift into the parasympathetic state. Mm-hmm. It can also reduce inflammation, um, which is often a byproduct of chronic stress. Mm-hmm. Right? And chronic sympathetic activation. Um, it also [01:02:00] supercharges your mitochondria, right? Mm-hmm. Which, when you're exposed to long-term chronic stress, you know, your MIT mitochondrial function becomes impaired, and you really need your mitochondria to function appropriately because it's integral in every single cellular.

Activity that happens in your body. It's integral to every organ 

Dr. Brighten: system in the body. So, and for women to understand, one of the most concentrated tissues of mitochondria in your body is your ovaries. Yep. So if you're mitochondria right, your hormones ain't right. 

Meliza: Exactly. So, um, red light therapy is phenomenal.

I also like to use it towards the end of the day as well to kind of help trigger the melatonin production, you know? Mm-hmm. I turn off the lights in my house and have red light bulbs, um, because I'm a bit of a freak about light, and it helps kind of signal to my brain that, you know. It's time, it's, it's almost sleepy time.

Mm-hmm. [01:03:00] And it helps me wind down and, and feel more relaxed. Um, I also like to take, you know, electrolytes, uh, before I go to bed, you know, not too close to bed. 'cause then I wake up, oh, really empty. But, um, having adequate hydration. Really great for the reparative processes that your brain undergoes while you're sleeping.

Mm-hmm. Um, and I actually learned that from a dear neuroscientist friend named Matt Walker, so, oh yeah, I hear 

Dr. Brighten: Matt. Yeah. Um, and I love that you bring up the hydration piece because people, you know, when we talk about the adrenal glands, people are like, oh, cortisol, they don't understand. Antidiuretic hormone comes from the adrenal glands.

And so chronic dehydration, which a lot of people fall under 'cause they, 'cause there's doctors out there that are like, just drink when you're thirsty. And it's like, okay, can I tell you how dysregulated everybody is? How disconnected people are from their body? Like. I have to like have my, I drink on a mason jar so I can like track my water, but [01:04:00] if you are not getting enough fluid through the day.

The adrenal glands have to mount a response to that. And because they're also involved in your stress response, it, it can be a strain on your adrenal glands and it is going against that healing process. So I love that you bring that up. I'm a big fan of drinking electrolytes. There's lots of great electrolyte brands out there.

I'm also like, you can make, you know, basically the mother brew of, uh, pink Himalayan salt. And if people don't notice this, it's basically like, take a hunk of pink Himalayan salt and you can fill it up in like a gallon thing of water. Let that set for a few days and then you are taking spoonfuls and adding it to your water.

Mm-hmm. So there's a lot of different ways I like to give people other tools than like, thing like, you have to buy this expensive brand. Like there's, you know, other options out there. Um, so we talked about the red light therapy. We talked about hydration. You mentioned that you're using saunas. I'm like, I'm with you.

Like before you go for deep tissue. 'cause sometimes. We store [01:05:00] things, unresolved emotions in our body, and when you start releasing things, it can, it can bring up trauma, which is why it's so important to have that counselor have that therapy. I talk about pelvic floor physical therapy all the time. I don't think I talk enough about how, how when you have that release in your pelvic floor, things can get stirred up.

Often people think like, oh, only if you've had sexual trauma, but not realizing that really, metaphorically speaking, the pelvic floor is basically like the net, right? I think about like, we're tightrope walking all the time, and when we fall, for whatever reason, the pelvic floor is there catching us.

Mm-hmm. And so it's catching like when things don't go our way when things hit us. So that's a little bit of a, of a digression in all of this. But I want to come back more to the hormones because women are burning out at alarming rates. What is it you think doctors are not telling them when it [01:06:00] comes to chronic stress hormones and their nervous system?

I 

Meliza: think doctors are, have the best of intentions 

Dr. Brighten: and only so much time, 

Meliza: and only so much time. And they also lack oftentimes the awareness, um, of their own nervous systems. Therefore, they, they can't practice or pre, you know, they're not practicing what they're preaching. Right. They may give you like some, you know, handout about stress and, you know, lowering stress and you might wanna take up yoga.

Right. I remember like my mom, um, who especially during her menopausal years was, um, very dysregulated, you know, and could not understand how to calm herself down. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Like just. I did not have the capacity for it. And I remember her doctor telling her, oh, you should, you should go to yoga. I, I [01:07:00] thought that was the dumbest thing, you know, to like, to offer this woman.

I'm like, you know, maybe get her some therapy, maybe, you know, teach her about her nervous system mm-hmm. And the rest of her body. And, um, unfortunately she wasn't totally receptive to those things. And I would try to talk to her about it. But, um, to answer your question, yeah, I mean the, the burnout component of things is, is real.

Um, we know that the, these levels of chronic stress in women, um, lead to a plethora of diseases. We have, uh, you know, the highest risk of developing cardiovascular disease, uh, which is. Significantly linked to chronic stress. Um, we also know that women are disproportionately affected by autoimmune conditions, right?

Mm-hmm. Hashimoto's thyroiditis, rheumatoid arthritis, um, [01:08:00] fibromyalgia, right? How many men do you know that suffer from this? 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. I do know some, but that's just by way of who I am in this world. I 

Meliza: don't know any, but you know, it's, it's dis it dis they do disproportionately affect women, and that's because of, you know, stress responses and then we talk about hormones, right?

It, it creates a significant hormone imbalance because what happens is stress steals your hormones to produce cortisol, right? And that can. Create a significant imbalance, whether it's through estrogen dominance, or it can also be too little estrogen at the same time, right? Mm-hmm. Or at a different time, depending on, on the person and the manifestation of that.

Um, so, you know, what can women do is, is, you know, ch create lifestyle changes, right? Mm-hmm. Um, one thing I'm a big fan of is boundaries. Hmm. So when to shut [01:09:00] off work mode is one, right? Because I also think that like, we have to consider the societal implications of what it means to be a woman. Um, I'm a single mother, right?

I own three businesses, and I'm also a best friend and a sister and a community member, and I'm a human being. Mm-hmm. And I struggle. You know, even despite what I do for a living. Yeah. I, I also struggle with, with finding balance, you know, so having boundaries around what you're going to interact with.

Consciousness. Right. Setting a timer to like turn off work mode. Right. Not interacting with toxic news cycles or anything. Again, this goes back to the trigger journal, right. Anything that creates an [01:10:00] overwhelming stress response for you. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: For me, I had to sign off from news. I read the news once a week just so that I can understand like, current events, but it's not something I consume every single day because it's, it's very distressing to me because I am a very empathetic person.

Mm-hmm. And I care about humans and it 

Dr. Brighten: can cause me to freeze. There's an Instagram account called So informed. And for people who are like, how could you possibly know what's going on in a week? They do a weekly roundup of news you may have missed. And they go through all of it. And I found that account has been really helpful.

Mm-hmm. In the weeks where same, I have to shut off the news. Um, and it can feel, you can feel guilty about that too. 'cause you're like, I have to stay informed. I have to know what's going on in the world. I can't just be an ostrich with my head in the sand. And yet I think we also have to [01:11:00] recognize that it does not benefit you, your family, your community or society if what you are consuming is leading to you burning out.

Meliza: Yeah. You have to, I mean, you know, as the old ADE goes, you have to put your mask on before you put on mm-hmm. You know, your child's mask or anybody else's mask. Right. Um, it's also a. Really amazing way that you can self preserve and that is important for your survival. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Um, and your longevity, you know, think of, of these acts as, you know, little deposits into the longevity piggy bank.

Right? And the more you decrease your stress, the more you have the capacity to be present to the joys of life, right? Mm-hmm. And, you know, we get fed this information that we have to be these responsible citizens. And while it is helpful and important to be informed about what's going on in the world, I'd say.[01:12:00] 

You know, number one 

Dr. Brighten: is you. Yeah. Well, sometimes people feel that selfish. And I wanna go back to your analogy that we hear on the, every time we get on a plane, your mask goes on first. Your child's second. They don't just say that so that you make sure your child's mask is on, right. They, you don't wanna lose consciousness.

They say that because no one on that plane is going to look after for your, your child the way you are going to, and that's the part I think people miss is that no one, no one else is going to look after your child, look after your mother, look after your friend the way you are going to. And so you absolutely have to take care of yourself first to have that capacity to do that.

And I really think it's important that, especially as women, we start reframing that it's not just like, oh, because like it's important so that I can make sure their needs are met. It's because. You are the one, you are the one who is going to be most [01:13:00] impactful in your community's survival. So you, we need you, we need you firing at full cylinders.

You'll 

Meliza: need you. 

Dr. Brighten: Yes, absolutely. No one's gonna save you. This is true. Well, hopefully they will. Hopefully you have some people that will. But when it comes to, uh, you know, what I think you're saying is that when it comes to your own health, you are the only one living your body. Mm-hmm. You know what's normal, you know what's not, no one on the outside can identify that you need to be rescued until things are really bad, really bad.

Mm-hmm. So you have to step in, you have to be present, like you were talking about with the trigger journal. And you have to step in and step up for yourself. When I wanna ask you for people right now who are like. I am not getting sleep. I have no energy, like stress is robbing me of my vitality. What are like three tips that you would give them in that arena?

Meliza: Yeah. Um, train up the parasympathetic nervous system. Okay. [01:14:00] How we do it possible. So, um, two of my favorite ways, uh, are through heat exposure and cold exposure. Okay. Contrast therapy. So, um. Not only does, you know heat exposure, I, I'm a big fan of infrared saunas, um, because of how they heat the body. Uh, for those of you that, that don't know what an infrared sauna is, it differs from a traditional Swedish or finished sauna in that it uses infrared heat, which penetrates your core body temperature.

It raises the core body temperature by one to two degrees, um, mimicking a fever. And, um, that, you know, sets off a cascade of events mm-hmm. In the body where, you know, your immune system is, is doing its thing, it's detoxifying to the body, um, through, you know, through sweat. Um, but it also lowers your blood pressure and engages the parasympathetic state.

And as you build that heat tolerance, you know, usually 20 to 30 minutes is good. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Um, as you [01:15:00] build that heat tolerance, um, it's, it's kind of remarkable to see the shifts in your nervous system where your baseline is calm. The other modality I really love is cold plunging. Mm-hmm. Um, I created a method, um, called the Worthy Method of Guiding a Cold Plunge.

Uh, and it's rooted in a somatic body scan, which helps you kind of connect to your body. Mm-hmm. Which, as you mentioned earlier, a lot of people are disconnected from their bodies. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. 

Meliza: Um, so it's an opportunity to, to scan the body. Right. This is a, a therapeutic tool that's often used in somatic psychology, uh, where you start from the tips of your toes and you work up to the crown of the head.

I like to integrate it with a lot of love. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: And a lot of gratitude because our bodies are remarkable, like magical machines. Right. Um, and, and they're complex, you know, beings, if you will. And how often do [01:16:00] you wake up in the morning and put your feet on, on the floor when you get up outta your bed and say.

Thank you feet. Yeah. You know. Thanks. Thanks toes for all you do for, you know, in every step I take in the world. Right 

Dr. Brighten: before you put your heels on and hate them. 

Meliza: Yeah. Um, it's not me, unfortunately, but 

Dr. Brighten: yeah. I'm just making a joke here. Tall, tall, me and heels. That's true. You are tall. I'm vertically challenged in life.

Meliza: I know. I, I, I think sitting down I look a lot shorter 'cause I'm all legs, but you know, I'm five 10. 

Dr. Brighten: No, no. We took a photo together, I remember. And I was like, standing between you and your friend and I was like, wow. Sometimes I forget, like, I, I joke. So my brother is like over six feet tall. He's like a whole foot taller than me.

And like, I feel for some reason in my mind I'm his size and he's built like a linebacker. Um, and so I'll just like forget like how compact I'm riding around in life until I'm next to people who are taller than me. And then I'm, oh, look at me, I'm so small. Like I'm a munchkin. I'm like, you know, the lollipop Guild over 

Meliza: here.

But you [01:17:00] know what your, your personality is. Big. Yeah. Maybe that's what it is. 

Dr. Brighten: And I wanna get back to your like, okay, so you were talking about the worthy method and, and you integrate this with cold plunging? 

Meliza: Yes. Okay. So, um, you do a somatic body scan and then, um, we take a moment to, to really set an intention.

'cause going back to the point that I made earlier, when you do anything hard, you should do it with support and with intention. Mm-hmm. And cold plunging is fricking hard. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. You have to be very present in your body. And I think. Next to birth. That might be the only thing that has demanded surrender from me.

And the, and I really love it and enjoy it. Um, uh, you know, you don't necessarily enjoy it in the moment, but you have to just surrender to the sensations in your body. Mm-hmm. Not if you're, if you're like, oh my God, I'm going numb and I think I have frostbite. We're not talking about that. That's extreme.

I'm talking about like, this is cold and it's [01:18:00] uncomfortable and I acknowledge this, I accept it, I surrender to filling the discomfort rather than trying to fight it. Yes. 

Meliza: Um, yes to all of that. Surrender is such a tremendous key in, in all of this, um, especially when understanding stress. Mm-hmm. When faced with.

Challenge. Right. That can feel overwhelming. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. 

Meliza: You know, surrender is a really powerful tool. Um, I don't think it's a mistake that, you know, a lot of faiths around the world call for surrender, right? Mm-hmm. Surrender to a higher power or what have you, and that, that can guide people through some really challenging moments.

Dr. Brighten: Do you feel like faith is a very important component in healing your nervous system? Not for 

Meliza: everyone. Mm-hmm. But for me it has been okay. Um, [01:19:00] it's helped me believe in myself better by surrendering to something beyond myself. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Um, and I've had many instances in my life where I've been brought to my knees, and I think the reason I survived was because I, I surrendered.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Um. And I think, you know, something that you said also about, you know, the act of like, I'm experiencing discomfort. This is very cold. I am safe. Mm-hmm. I am safe. Right? Yeah. That's something that we say to our clients a lot of times because our, our cold plunge is very cold. We have Morocco Forge cold plunge, which I think is, you know, the best one on the market.

Um, they produce their, their own ice. Um, they're extremely hygienic mm-hmm. And grounding. And um, but they get very cold. Ours is set to 36 degrees. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: And, uh, we often have to tell people [01:20:00] when they're having that activation moment Right. During their cold plunge, that you're safe, this is uncomfortable, it's temporary.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: But know that you are safe. I'm here with you. And as we're, you know, when we're guiding people, um, through that intention setting. Moment, right? We always say, I'm here to be your guide and your witness. I will keep you safe and I'll make sure that nothing happens, nothing bad happens to you. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm.

Meliza: Um, this is so important to communicate to people. I can't. Yeah. I can't tell you the importance of it. Um, also, you know, the reason I created this method is 'cause I did trainings in a number of different cold plunging modalities, and I found that, um, it was more dysregulating for me than anything to have someone screaming at me with a stopwatch.

Dr. Brighten: Oh, I know, that's so dumb. Like I'm in a major stress response and then you're in my face, like I'm somebody that my default [01:21:00] mode is fight. You don't wanna do that with me? Yeah. I wanna punch you my nervous system. Like, and it's, um, I'm like, my husband has learned, um, not to scare me in the dark. Used to think it was fun until he got socked a few times.

And then one time he jumped out when I was coming outta the bathroom and I grabbed the door, uh, jams and I pulled up my foot, I almost kicked him in the chest. He would've flown down the stairs. And I'm like, you have to stop doing this. This can't do that. Like, I am gonna tell this other story. 'cause he would be like, I can't believe you didn't tell on yourself for this one time.

He walked up behind me in the store and he grabbed my butt and I turned around and instantly grabbed his throat. And he was like, what? And I'm like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Like, this is how I am programmed. Like that is my initial response. And I'm always like. I think as a woman especially because we're like, we're not supposed to be like that.

Right. I always am like so mortified. So anyhow, that's superpower though. I very much let people know [01:22:00] though, like if you do that, if you wanna battle, like don't push me too far because I'm not freeze, I won't run away. I will engage. Yeah. Um, and I have, um, because of, uh, some genes that I have, which are, they're term the Warrior genes fantastic.

We are still living in tribes, like on a plane or something. But like I clear my cortisol very slow. Mm-hmm. So once you get me in that mode, I'm like, the come down is hard. And sometimes I'm like reaching and I'm like, I'm. Sorry. It's just like, I gotta go do jump squats now. Yeah. I have to move this energy out.

I gotta dump it out. Yeah. Yeah. Anyhow, that's a, like, I, I digress, but I'm sure there are people who can relate to, like, I don't want to be screamed 

Meliza: at like, it's, it's also, it's silly, it's dysregulating, you know, I'm very sensitive to someone raising their voice given my mm-hmm. My upbringing. Right. Um, also like the seeking, I find that to be very egoic and that's also something that I believe is associated with, [01:23:00] with the masculine.

What's the seeking, what do you mean? Um, seeking to hit a time. 

Dr. Brighten: Oh yeah. 

Meliza: You know, because that takes you out of your body and out of the present moment and into your ego. Mm-hmm. And that's not where you need to be when you're sitting in 36 degree. Mm-hmm. You know, there needs to be an ego dissolution. Yeah.

Um, so, you know, making sure that. What I, what I love about the worthy meth animal bias. 'cause I know, but, um, is that it, it brings in a little bit more of the feminine. Mm-hmm. So, you know, once you set your intention, we seal it off. And, and throughout the experience, we're also incorporating different types of breath work.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. And 

Meliza: this helps calm the nervous system. I cannot tell you how many times we've had people that are pacing back and forth in front of the cold plunge and, you know, they get diarrhea of the mouth. As my dad used to say, they're just like, mm-hmm. I, I, I'm so bad at this and I can't, I can't tolerate cold.

And, uh, are you gonna be here? Oh gosh, can, can this be over? You know, it's like, and then you guide them [01:24:00] through this somatic body scan. You guide them through the breath work, you guide them through the intention setting. And by the time it's time for them to open their eyes and face the water, they're like, huh, okay.

I think I can do this. And then when we facilitate the plunge, we, we do so. To music. Mm. Um, it's very intentional music, so there's no timer anywhere in sight. And it engages the auditory senses, right? Mm-hmm. Which, when we listen to beautiful music or inspiring lyrics that can be very regulating to your nervous system, is that a tool that people could be incorporating daily?

A hundred percent. Okay. Yeah. Listen to beautiful music. Music that inspires you. Um, dancing's also another one that I really love. Mm-hmm. Um, and then, you know, once you, once they're in the cold plunge, what happens oftentimes to people when, when particularly when their ribs hit the waters, they have a hyperventilation response.

Mm-hmm. [01:25:00] Happens in about 70% of the population. Right? Yeah. Um, and that is not good. Mm-hmm. Um, that's not good for signaling safety to the body, so we always let people know that. The way to get outta that is to exhale. Mm-hmm. 

Dr. Brighten: Think 

Meliza: of the inhale as the sympathetic activation. The exhale as the parasympathetic.

And they both serve a purpose. Right. But they also need to be balanced. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: And so when cold plunging, I always recommend inhaling for four counts, exhaling for six counts. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Um, this why is the longer 

Dr. Brighten: exhale important for people to understand because you're in a stressful situation. Mm-hmm. And what does the longer exhale 

Meliza: do?

It activates the parasympathetic nervous system. Okay. Um, and this is a tool that you can use in any stressful situation, right? Mm-hmm. Is connect to your breath, inhale for four. Exhale for six, right? 

Dr. Brighten: And trust friends. If you can do [01:26:00] this in a stressful state like cold plunge, it makes it, you actually build the neuronal pathways that say I'm in a stress response, I'm going to go into my deep breathing.

So it's one way you can train yourself to have a better stress response. 

Meliza: Exactly. This is, we call it stress resilience adaptation, so mm-hmm. You can create stress resilience in your body. Now, once you get through that threshold of that first 30 to 45 seconds of the cold plunge where your body's like, oh shit, I'm gonna die.

Yeah. Right. Um, and if you regulate your breath, it's the most beautiful thing to watch. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: I mean, it's such a privilege to witness people experience this, uh, because it's the, it's the point at which people. Surrender, and they go from this tense experience to just being like,

and then they connect to their breath. And that's where the magic happens. You know, the [01:27:00] hands-on coaching becomes not so hands-on. Um, I like to, you know, when I see someone has found a, a good rhythm with their breath, I may invite them to seal their lips mm-hmm. And just do nasal breathing. Um, sometimes I like to incorporate humming because humming helps stimulate the VA vagus nerve, which also cold plunging does, right?

Mm-hmm. But it also stimulates the, the pleasure response. Right? What happens when you feed a baby delicious food? Oh, yeah. Always. Mm, right? That is not a mistake. What happens when you experience sexual pleasure? Right? Mm. Right. When you can bring that into the experience of these stressful situations, you're reprogramming your brain and your stress response towards safety.

Mm-hmm. And then the best part is telling them that their cold plunge is done. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. 

Meliza: And they've gone off into another place within themselves and they're like, what? [01:28:00] My time's up? I'm, I'm finished. I just got in. No, you've been in for three minutes and 35 seconds. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: You're good. You know? And then the other part that I love getting the opportunity to witness is seeing people realize that they're a lot stronger than they give themselves credit for.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: That they're capable of so much. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. For people who don't have access to a cold plunge, is there a way they can replicate this at home? 

Meliza: Yes. So cold showers are a form of cold exposure. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: So ending your shower with cold, ending your shower with cold, and I'm not talking mildly cold, I'm talking, crank that baby.

Make it as cold as it gets. Right. Because I think usually taps are around like anywhere from 55 to 58 degrees. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Um, and then focus on your breath in the shower. Obviously you have to rotate in the shower. You don't want the water to just be on one part of your body. [01:29:00] Um, though I do strongly recommend that you have it hit your neck.

Okay. Uh, to help kind of stimulate the response to the cold exposure. You can also, um. Dunk your face in a bowl of ice water. Uh, that's also a really profound, that's form me every summer cold exposure every 

Dr. Brighten: day in the summer. 

Meliza: Yeah. So, um, and then you can also, you know, do what I did during the pandemic, which, you know, I became very good friends with the local seven 11 ice machine.

Ice machine. Yeah. The guy like, knew what I was coming in for. He is like, I got the ice for you today. You know, and turn your bathtub into a cold plunge. There's actually, um, you know, pretty affordable tubs out there that are like pop-up tubs. I think they cost around $200. Um, you, there's, you know, the whole spectrum of cold punch tubs that go, go up to very high ranges.

Very punch. Yeah. There's, there's also lay down circulator. Sorry. Yeah. I was just 

Dr. Brighten: gonna ask, there's the lay down and then there's [01:30:00] the like squat down. Mm-hmm. Like, which do you think work better? Does it matter? 

Meliza: That's up to personal preference. Um, yeah. 'cause I hate the lay down. The jury. The jury is out on, uh.

There's some people that I think make unfounded claims around, you know, which one is better? The science doesn't support that. Um, it's really up to personal preference. You know, I have a Morocco Forge, which is a lay down 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. Uh, tub. I'd say. I hate the lay down. I've only done cold plunges where like, you're, you're sinking straight down in it.

But except when I was in Iceland, then I was doing, um, sauna and then jumping into the lake, but the lake was not deep enough, so you had to like lay down. Lay down. And I was like, I hate this so much. Yeah. But it may me because it was a different experience and I had like adapted and like had set my mindset to like plunging down versus like, oh, you're laying down.

You gotta keep going, and going and going. Maybe that was, I needed more experience with it. I [01:31:00] don't know. I should try more lay downs before I like totally subscribe to hating them. 

Meliza: I 

Dr. Brighten: think 

Meliza: also, like, you know, people don't realize that. When you cold plunge, I, I always tell our clients like, slow and controlled.

Mm-hmm. No hesitation. Right? So if you get into a cold plunge and you just stand there, it gives your brain more time Yeah. To send the signals of like, 

Dr. Brighten: oh my God. I will also say, as a woman, I've gotta get past my breast as soon as possible. You have to because the way, and I think, uh, it makes your nipples hurt every, yes.

Everybody, um, that has ever been cold knows that like the contraction that happens with the aerial and the nipples, you have to get the past that as soon as possible, and for people who are listening, if your nipples ever get. Like you get cold and they get really hard and painful, and maybe they even start to turn lighter in color.

That can be a sign of rayons. Mm-hmm. Rayons is a [01:32:00] contraindication for cold plunging ing. Um, but often I don't think we talk enough about it for women. It's not just fingertips and toes. Your nipples can have that rayons a response where you get such a contraction of the blood vessels, you're not getting blood flow, and that pain is tissue dying.

Dying. Like, we don't want that. 

Meliza: Yeah. We definitely don't want that. There's absolutely, you know, in situations where there's contraindications might not be a good idea to do any sort. Let's 

Dr. Brighten: talk about that though. What are contraindications to cold plunging, 

Meliza: um, untreated cardiovascular disease? Oh, definitely.

Yeah. I'm so glad you brought that one up. Yeah. I think, uh, especially in the cold plunging world, there's, again, there are charlatans out there that, um, want to ignore the evidence. Mm-hmm. And, uh. That's an example of an unsafe Yeah. Situation. Um, people with Reno syndrome should not cold plunge. Um, [01:33:00] people who are pregnant in the first trimester should not cold plunge though you can after.

Um, but modified, correct. Modified, yeah. Mm-hmm. Shorter. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. Because for people, 'cause there are often women who will be like, I do keto. I do this, I do that. I'm gonna do it while I'm pregnant. And I think it's really important for your people to understand that pregnancy is not a neutral health state.

It's one of the most stressful periods of your life because your blood volume's expanding. There is a great need for the cardiovascular system to adapt. The kidneys have to adapt. Like there are all of these changes. But also to keep in mind that if you're already under chronic stress in your life, adding more stress.

Can cause those epigenetic changes in the fetus's development. So that's where I'm like working with someone who has expertise, who's running a clinic, who is making sure that things are safe. Because I haven't seen, we put out a cold plunge article [01:34:00] and we got hit back from people being like, this is perfectly safe in pregnancy.

And I'm like, who are you to say this? Like, no, like this is not a time to be cold plunging the, like you said, second and third trimester. I mean, it can, even just doing your feet can help significantly percent, like swelling and things like that. The lymphatic flush that you need. Yeah, there's modifications that can happen, but just to be like, no pregnant women can do anything that anyone else is doing.

I'm like, that's a great idea, but it's false. 

Meliza: People often overlook, and I had no idea until obviously I became pregnant that. It is one of the most stressful events on a woman's body. Yeah. Ever. Mm-hmm. Right. Like cardiovascularly, they say it's the equivalent of running a marathon a day. Mm-hmm. Or something like that.

I think it, yeah. But we treat women just 

Dr. Brighten: like you should get over childbirth and having a baby and you're done at six weeks, you're totally healed. Oh, good God. That 

Meliza: is like such, yeah. I mean, I had so [01:35:00] much naivety, um, going into my postpartum phase. Mm-hmm. I had a difficult pregnancy in that my body, I don't think my body was made to be pregnant.

Um, my, my belly never actually popped. I didn't start showing until it was seven months. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. I mean, no, that's you if you have a long torso. I have a long torso. I actually have a short torso. Oh, do you? Okay. But I have a 

Meliza: very strong abdominal wall, but yeah. Where is that? Where did my baby go? He went down.

Mm-hmm. So when you were talking about, you know, pelvic floor challenges, I had to, I actually couldn't exercise. I've been an athlete my whole life. The most I could do was walk because I felt like I had been kicked in the groin. Mm-hmm. You know, I had, and they're like, oh, it's just round ligament pain. And, you know, I'm like, this, this can't be normal.

Yeah. And my hip hurts so bad. Um, and then, you know, [01:36:00] going into to labor, you know, I, I was in labor for 31 hours and I think I pushed for four hours. Ah, yeah. And um. You know, didn't realize that I was, part of the reason why my labor was so painful was because my SOAs was tearing mm-hmm. During my contractions.

And so, you know, I tried to have a natural birth. I was unable to do so because I couldn't get over the pain. Yeah. Yeah. I was in such horrific pain. I, I don't think I've ever screamed like that in my life. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: That my body couldn't relax for me to dilate Yeah. To deliver my baby. And I ended up having to have an epidural.

It was either an epidural or a C-section. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: And so I, I had the epidural and um, you know, once it wore off after I gave birth, you know, the residual pain I had in my hip where I couldn't walk and they're like, oh, it's fine. It's just 'cause you had a long night [01:37:00] and for up to one year. Yeah, I was in horrific pain.

Um, I couldn't understand why, you know, I was like, I, I'm postpartum. Like I should be fine. I should be okay. I should be back to normal. And it wasn't until I, I saw, um, this amazing doctor, uh, in the Bay Area. She also has a clinic in Los Angeles who did a special kind of ultrasound and she said, Melissa, your SOAs looks like a moth ate through it.

Oh gosh. And that's why you're in pain. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: You have multiple tears and you need therapy to repair that. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Um, and then of course, having, you know, a good quality pelvic floor therapist, I think I, I might take the cake for the amount of referrals I send her because I get so many women who, you know, come to me, especially as they're entering in, into the menopausal years.

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. You know, 

Meliza: where there's, [01:38:00] there may be some incontinence. You know, developing or you know, some people develop pelvic pain out of the blue where they're like, mm-hmm I've never had this before and now this is a thing. And why is this hurt? Yeah. I feel so tense. I can't enjoy sex anymore with my husband.

And it's like, okay, you need to go see a pelvic floor therapist. Yeah. And of course, you know, that should be normalized. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. I'm gonna link to the episode we did with, uh, Dr. Deanna, who's a pelvic floor physical therapist, and she actually brought in her models to teach everybody about the pelvic floor and what they can be doing for that.

'cause it is super, super important. I wanna finish on the, uh, contraindications. Mm-hmm. So we talked about reon, we talked about pregnancy, we talked about cardiovascular, um, disease or just cardiovascular issues altogether. That's a really big bucket there. 'cause it's not just that you've had a heart attack.

Like there can be a lot of other things going on. Yeah. 

Meliza: If you have arrhythmias, if you have, you know, um. Any form of atherosclerosis. Mm-hmm. You know, that, I mean, [01:39:00] some people will go as far as considering high blood pressure to be a contraindication for it. Mm-hmm. So you really wanna make sure that those things are in check, um, and also talk to your doctor about it mm-hmm.

And make sure that that's a safe thing for you. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. 

Meliza: Hopefully you have a doctor that's informed about these practices and values their health in, in that way. But, um, yeah, those are, those are the contraindications that I, I really look out for. 

Dr. Brighten: I would also add, if you have very painful periods. Periods, yeah.

Don't say say on your period. Yeah. This, it's something where people, like, I've seen men on the internet, that's usually where they go and misbehave when they tell women like, yeah, it's just period cramps. Like, get over it. Like you need to do it anyways. And I'm like, let me put a tens unit on you baby, and let me give you a dose of period pain.

Like, let me, let me in because you've never experienced this. And so for people listening, [01:40:00] um, if you look on Chinese medicine is just one. Example of many practices, um, and cultures who are like, you keep the womb warm, warm when you are postpartum and when you are on your period. Yes. And I will say, if you follow that, I mean, in Mexican culture it's the same way.

Lots of cultures have this, this same thing in Algerian culture. There's a reason for it. Respect the wisdom of the wise women. Yeah. You don't need science to validate that this is just not a good move for you. I'm so glad you brought that up 

Meliza: because this leads me into the point of, um, there's two points I wanna make around that.

One is, if you are in a heightened state of stress, of prolonged stress and you're coming to to worthy, and we're doing a consultation with you, I'm not gonna recommend you do a cold punch. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: I'm gonna focus on. Building up [01:41:00] your parasympathetic rest and digest before I expose you to another stressor.

Just because someone told you it's good for you doesn't mean it's right. Yeah. Or it's good for you in this moment. Right. You and you should do what feels right for you. Mm-hmm. You have all the answers that you need and you should not be looking outside of yourself for that. Um, and this is, you know, one of the challenges of, of our medical system, right.

That has pathologized a lot of things, but also gaslit a lot of people and especi women. Um, I've had countless instances in, in my life where I say I saved my own life. Yeah. Um, because I knew something was very wrong. Um, the other thing I, I wanna talk about is. Cycle sinking. Mm-hmm. And understanding when to expose your [01:42:00] body to those stressors.

Right. The luteal phase and the menstrual phase are not the time. 

Dr. Brighten: No. Our stress resiliency is lower. It goes down, which is why people are more annoying, um, during that phase. Uh, it's why like, yeah. Your amygdala's 

Meliza: over overactive, right? Yeah. You, you ha you can't regulate your emotions. You, you know, and then of course you get into the second half of the lile phase and you're start, you're facing PMS, like, you know, next thing you know, your husband is someone that you don't really care for.

Yeah. Right. Um. And so your stress resilience goes down and that goes down with, with your estrogen levels going down. Mm-hmm. So you wanna make sure that you're dosing that stress at the right time. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: And when your estrogen is highest, that's when you're gonna wanna be doing the intense workout, the intense strength training, the, you know, the cold plunging, the, you know, you're also gonna be feeling yourself, so you're [01:43:00] probably gonna wanna have sex more and mm-hmm.

You know, be more in your body and more active. Right. When we think about the different variations in women, right. Some women are okay, cold plunging or doing those stressful activities at any point in their cycle. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: If that is you, God bless you, that's not me. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: And, and I would also argue that.

Timing those things in the day also makes a huge difference. Understanding that cold plunging can have a drastic effect on your core body temperature. Right? It lowers your core body temperature, and so your body's at, you know, 98.6 degrees, you're lowering, excuse me, your're lowering your core body temperature significantly, and then your body almost over corrects.

Mm-hmm. To warm [01:44:00] itself back up. Now if you do that too late in the day, what's gonna happen? 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. I was also just thinking of all of you that have hot flashes and night sweats, do not do this at night, then You're absolutely correct because. Um, it's something that in the winter, which feels counterintuitive, will encourage people to be doing these cold plunges because it will actually warm your body up before you go outside.

Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: So what you need to fall, fall into deep sleep is a, you know, two to three degree temperature drop. Mm-hmm. In your core body temperature. If your body's still in the phase of overcorrecting, you're gonna be hot. And what happens when you get hot, you wake up. Mm-hmm. And I've personally had this experience where I'm Hellen at the moon, you know, and I'm up for two, three, or I'm just up mm-hmm.

Two, three hours, or I'm up for the rest of the night starting at 3:00 AM. Um, I [01:45:00] personally like to cold plunge in the morning, uh, because it also helps with the fluctuation of cortisol mm-hmm. Throughout the day, which also. Can support your hormone cycles. Now with heat exposure, I like to do the saunas in the evening.

Mm-hmm. Because it prepares your body for deep rest. One way it does that is through the parasympathetic activation, but also through manipulating your core body temperature. When you overheat the body right, your body's gonna overcorrect to cool itself down, and what do you need to fall asleep? You need that temperature drop, so it's gonna prepare you for bed.

Why do we give babies a warm bath before they go to sleep? Mm-hmm. It's what helps them slip into that deep sleep. Turns out, you know, we're just children and adult meat bags and we still have a lot of the same needs. Yeah. So we should grant 

Dr. Brighten: ourselves that. Mm-hmm. So. [01:46:00] People should forget the morning routine.

I've heard you say and focus instead on the nighttime routine for restful sleep and nervous system regulation. You've given us a few tips, but what else can people do in the evening to really support their nervous system, find opportunities for co-regulation? 

Meliza: Okay, so something that Peter Levine, um, who is, you know, he created this, uh, method called Somatic Experiencing.

He was really, uh, integral into my becoming trauma informed and, and helping heal myself. But, you know, a very critical component is, is, you know, healthy relationships, social connection and healthy co-regulation. So. Snuggle your kid. Mm. You know. Or your puppy. Or your puppy. Or your kid. Well, and I just want people to 

Dr. Brighten: understand, I Your dog could be 16.

I'll still call them a puppy. Yeah. 

Meliza: You know, um, have [01:47:00] a schedule that, you know, a, a conversation with someone you love. Call your mom, tell her you love her. Mm-hmm. You know, if that's not accessible to you, consume information that reinforces that. Okay. Where you get the opportunity to bear witness to people doing good things.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: To people expressing kindness towards each other. Um, and love, you know, that the essence of this life for me is to love and be loved. I know it's cliche, but, um, I've had enough experiences in my life. You know, I was a very, uh. Sick child actually. And my life was actually in danger, um, as a teenager.

And it became very, very apparent to me that that was the most important thing. So when we can have experiences and observe [01:48:00] things that reinforce that 

Dr. Brighten: mm-hmm. 

Meliza: It creates safety and downregulation in the nervous system. And that comes back down to the boundaries, right? Like making the choice to consume things.

Mm-hmm. If your social media feed is not filled with things that bring you joy and make you feel good about yourself, that increase the, the worthy quotient, if you will block it. Or if you can't, you know, mitigate your, um, consumption, delete the app. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: See what that feels like. Right. So I think healthy co-regulation.

Then I also love to do a little bit of breath work, you know, um, I'm big on increasing accessibility, you know, part of my mission at Worthy is, um, and, and doing right by the word worthy. You know, is everybody's born worthy of [01:49:00] feeling good? Mm-hmm. You know, that's not a privilege that is reserved, uh, for those with, you know, tons of resources or of a certain socioeconomic status.

That's something that we should all be able to experience. And I think that a lot of, um. Health practices have been kind of, there's, there's gatekeepers. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. 

Meliza: And I'm deeply disturbed by that. Mm-hmm. You know, there's no reason why an infrared sauna session should cost you $130 for 30 minutes. That's ridiculous.

Yeah. Um, so I personally offer a lot of free tools to people, um, through breath work, through, uh, movement, you know, nervous system, friendly, movement based classes. Um, is this at your studio or online? Both. So. Okay. Um, [01:50:00] at my studio we have a tiered program. Mm-hmm. So if it's in, within your capacity to pay full price for our services.

Um, then you pay full price. We have a sliding scale program, uh, for folks who earn income but can't necessarily afford, uh, the full price of our, of our services. Most of the people that are on those programs are people like social workers, new therapists. Mm-hmm. Public school teachers. Right. People that are, in my opinion, grossly underpaid and often under-resourced.

And then lastly, we also have a 5 0 1 C3 nonprofit called Worthy Wellness Initiative. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Um, and this was actually really inspired by my mom. Uh, my mom was in the public service system where, you know, she was a Medicaid recipient. Um, she lived in Section eight housing and I would [01:51:00] often go to her appointments with her.

My mother passed away five and a half years of ago of cancer. 

Dr. Brighten: Oh my gosh. I'm sorry. And, 

Meliza: um, thank you. And. I would go with her to her appointments and I'd look around the room and it's, you know, often a room full of immigrants 

Dr. Brighten: mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Who are underserved and they're being, they're just cogs in the machine.

The system does not exist to serve their humanity first and foremost, let alone their health. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: And I was really disturbed by that. Um, and so when I conceived of the idea for Worthy, I thought about, and I've been in this boat myself. Right. Um, you know, when I first became a single mom, I, I was really struggling mm-hmm.

And dealing with, um, serious, you know, situation [01:52:00] where my mom is dying. Yeah. And caretaking for, I have a toddler, I have a full-time job. I am overstressed and sick and burnt out, and I also can't afford these services that I really need. Mm-hmm. And that seems so unfair. Um, so the word Wellness Initiative offers a free membership to folks who meet the criteria, and if you're on two social service programs or more, and you can show that you're an active recipient, we don't do income verification because again, I'm committed to our humanity.

And I think that the process and dignity and dignity, I think that the process of the income verification that takes place in those programs is utterly shameful. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: Um, and I've seen many people I care for go through that process and it's, it's dehumanizing. Um, so as long as they show that they're active recipients, [01:53:00] then they get a free membership at Worthy, and it's folded into.

How the business works, as the business grows, that the, that membership pool grows. And, um, I find that a greater indicator of inequalities, socioeconomic status. Mm-hmm. And so we see people from all walks of life. We have a lot of folks with chronic autoimmune conditions that are, that have, you know, wreaked havoc on their lives.

Um, we have some people that don't speak any English, and thankfully we have a very multilingual staff. Yeah. And we're able to meet their needs. Um, and it helps kind of lay level the playing field. You know, oftentimes the people that need these services the most are the most underserved. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Meliza: And so that's part of our dedication to helping ensure that everyone understands that they are worthy of [01:54:00] feeling this way.

Um, and, and doing. T taking time for that self care. You know, it's not indulgent. It's absolutely necessary and paramount to your wellbeing. Mm-hmm. And there should be no guilt. You know? It's a shame free environment. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. Well, thank you for all the work that you are doing in this world and for taking the time to share your expertise with us today.

Thank you. I'm very grateful that we got to have this time together. Me 

Meliza: too. Thank you so 

 

Dr. Brighten: much. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If this is the kind of content you're into, then I highly recommend checking out this.