Intuitive Biohacking: Ditching Perfectionism and Listening to Your Body in Pregnancy | Aggie Lal

Aggie Lal: [00:00:00] In the Aveda, they said that 40 days after delivery will dictate the 40 years of your life. Like it shouldn't be a case of like, no one cares how well you feel, how well you're covering. It's just all about the baby. And women feel super depressed and I think that's what scares me the 

Dr. Brighten: most. You went from being a travel influencer to then stepping into this biohacking space, and now you're moving into the mom space.

Have you even thought about what that's what's gonna happen? Like what's gonna evolve online for you? Aggie LAU 

Narrator: is a bestselling author, certified nutrition and health coach, TEDx speaker and viral wellness entrepreneur with over 1.5 million followers across social platforms. 

Narrator 2: From surviving a life-changing car accident to sailing across the Pacific and building a global brand, Aggie's story is one of radical resilience and unstoppable reinvention.

Narrator: As the founder of Higher Self Academy and Biohacking Bestie, she's helped over 20,000 women transform their health, fitness and mindset through her podcast. Global TV appearances and bestselling [00:01:00] books, Insta Travel and Biohack like a woman. 

Narrator 2: Aggie empowers women to live by design, not by default. 

Aggie Lal: Preparing for fertility has been like, just like a part of biohacking.

If it was a case of like epidural means that you're gonna have a beautiful experience of your birth and you feel respected and empowered, I'm like, cool. Like I probably will be the first one to get the epidural, but that's not the same thing. I think the conversation, it's not about the way you birth, it's the way.

Dr. Brighten: I'm curious, what did you change about your routine and your life as you went to prepare to get pregnant? 

Aggie Lal: Oh wow. I feel like it's been a while. 'cause I feel like 

Dr. Brighten: for me. Welcome back to the Dr. Brighton Show. I'm your host, Dr. Jolene Brighton. I'm board certified in Naturopathic endocrinology, a nutrition scientist, a certified sex counselor, and a certified menopause specialist.

As always, I'm bringing you the latest, most UpToDate information to help you take charge of your health and [00:02:00] take back your hormones. If you enjoy this kind of information, I invite you to visit my website, dr brighton.com, where I have a ton of free resources for you, including a newsletter that brings you some of the best information, including updates on this podcast.

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Okay. So you've got some big news that we've been chatting about. Yes. And I really wanna talk about how this is [00:03:00] changing your life as a biohacking female, but I'm not gonna steal your thunder so you can share. 

Aggie Lal: Well, um, I'm pregnant. Yeah. And I haven't really shared with anyone, so this is the first time officially sharing it.

And so, yeah. I guess there's, there's four of us. I know. 

Dr. Brighten: Isn't that wild though? I mean, you walked up and you're like, I heard you're pregnant. I'm pregnant too. I'm like, this is so serendipitous that like this all worked out and that we're doing this 

Aggie Lal: podcast at 

Dr. Brighten: this time. Yes. We saw 

Aggie Lal: each other less than two months ago.

Yeah. And neither of us were pregnant. And now we're both pregnant. So it's 

Dr. Brighten: pretty cool. It is really cool. Yeah. So given that you're starting to have these changes. How has that impacted your day-to-day routines? Because I know you're very much about your routines and caring for your health. Mm-hmm. We'll get into the story of why, but I think a lot of women in the first trimester wanna know, like, how has it impacted you?

How are you feeling and what are you doing differently? 

Aggie Lal: Um, so I've been feeling really terrible and like, someone, please complain. But it was [00:04:00] like, yeah, it's really tough and it, it, it feels like you're constantly drunk slash hungover, but you try to like get through the day super sleepy. Uh, super nauseous, like.

All the like, and it's so interesting 'cause obviously I'm the kind of girl who like lift weights, uh, eats 120 grams of protein, you know, watches out for her glucose. And once I got to my first trimester, I was like, there's no way I can even follow any of that. I look at me and I can't even like look at it.

I immediately, like, I was just get shivers. Yeah. I would open the fridge and I would get repulsed my food and I would like eat banana or crackers. So I, it obviously was impacting me 'cause it was like, well I don't wanna put too much weight, but the only thing I really want is like simple carbs. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. And so I got myself a glucose monitor and I was like, okay, let me see how bad it is. It's actually hasn't been that bad. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Aggie Lal: Um, but I think emotionally it's just like I, we both are on the same page that like, you wanna build that nutrient [00:05:00] reserve Yeah. Way before pregnancy. Like, you don't wanna just wake up one day and be pregnant.

If that's the case, that's also okay. But like. Everything you do in life, whether you're 21 or 35, don't wait for pregnancy to just happen to you. Like everything your entire life is like a fertility preparation, right? Mm-hmm. That, that, I know you live that way. And, uh, I tried to live that way too. So whenever my first trimester came, I was like, kind of okay and comfortable with eating crackers.

Mm-hmm. Because I just couldn't stomach anything else. Um. And yeah, and so far so good. I, I luckily I was able to brush my teeth and take my prenatals, but not every day. 'cause sometimes we look at brushing the teeth can be the worst part I that avoid, I avoided that one, but I hear it's like, it's like a big thing.

Um, so yeah, it's, it's really just like about the surrender of the experience. And it's really hard when you're a woman and it's like, you feel so unwell and you're hearing, well, make sure you get your protein and make sure you go [00:06:00] to the gym. I was like, I, I lift a lot and I wasn't able to go to the gym and like lift properly.

I was able to go on walks but not really lift. And so. I was like, obviously good in my head I'm like, am I doing it wrong? Like other girls are okay. But at the end of the day, it's like everyone has its own experience and every time it's different. As you probably can attest that every pregnancy is different.

So just like learning how to surrender, I'm like, okay, how do I do it? And then going with the flow. 

Dr. Brighten: Well, I think what you're sharing is really refreshing and I appreciate it because so often there's keeping up appearances online, right? Mm-hmm. And I have even had patients who have very large social media followings and what they're showing people that they're doing online mm-hmm.

Is not what they're doing at home. And it's not because they're trying to deceive people. 'cause people are right away are like, oh, they're dishonest. Like mm-hmm. They feel that shame, they feel like they can't be honest. Mm-hmm. So [00:07:00] immediately, you know, when women get pregnant, we do start shifting into wanting more carbs because progesterone is changing insulin sensitivity and we need that fuel.

And so that kind of craving is normal. Not wanting to have meat. Also normal, there's like, you know, some theories that like our stomach acid and because our motility changes that it's like we need the simplest things to break down. Mm-hmm. Because having a meat heavy meal might be too much and. I also think about how you're like, oh, the lifting weights and stuff, like I wasn't allowed to because, so, um, I had an IVF embryo transfer.

Mm-hmm. I have multiple reasons to be a high risk pregnancy, including my age clotting disorder, autoimmune disease. Like, I, like the cards are stacked against me, so miracles are happening over here. Ooh. But, you know, it's very exciting. But, you know, the, uh, the idea that like, okay, I am too tired to lift weights, but maybe something's wrong with [00:08:00] me and it's actually incorrect because sometimes too strenuous of activities can cause things like hemorrhages to happen.

Mm-hmm. Um, it can like, cause issues with the placenta. So in a lot of ways, what you just said is that you listen to the message of your body. You respected that. And in honoring that, I mean, that's really the best approach for where you're at in this season of your life. And I think it's like so 

Aggie Lal: interesting with the balance.

'cause when you look at Chinese men, Aveda, my Chinese medicine doctor, uh, Dr. W, he said like, Aggie for 15 weeks, just like give yourself, he said the first 15 weeks and then the first four 40 days after birth are the most important for you because you're setting yourself up for success. And I think in the Aveda they said that 40 days after, um, uh, delivery is, uh, will dictate the 40 years of your life.

Mm-hmm. And obviously we go from one extreme to another in the western world, we are either fill up ourselves with fast food chips and lie on [00:09:00] the couch. Which by the way, no judgment. 'cause this is what I did as well. So that's all good. Or we go and it's like, lift weights, don't be weak. Da da da. And like, it's okay to, you're not weak.

You're building a nervous system. Mm-hmm. And the, you know, a spine and a brain and a heart. And that takes a lot of energy. And so just like understanding that it's like, do the best you can. And I don't know if this was your experience, but like, I have days when I feel absolutely incredible and I'm like, oh, cool.

Like I just can't really plan ahead. Yeah. 'cause there, I planned to go to the gym on Saturday. On Saturday I was crawled up on a couch. I was like, I can't move. And then on Sunday I felt great. Mm-hmm. So it was just like understanding that like, it's kind of, it's a little bit out of control and it's okay to do the best you can 'cause that's already enough.

And yeah, you kinda like leaning in and I think there's enormous pressure, right? To feel like, oh, I need to eat my protein and my solution. Like, I just, what I just had, I was like, okay. Meat really hard, like even looking at raw meat, cooking meat. Like just like overall, like even [00:10:00] talking about much. I know, and I 

Dr. Brighten: know I can tell.

You're like, this is so gross. 

Aggie Lal: Yeah. I'm like, this is not gonna happen. So I was like, okay. But like I can have whey protein and I add a little passion fruit and um, banana and like lots of proteins. It's actually like 40 gram, 50, almost grams of protein. And I drink it and I'm like, that's one way of me getting protein as well as banana.

Like not my usual goal to, but at least I'm good. Right? Yeah. At least I'm hitting. So like, find something that you genuinely enjoy and like stick with that. I have been obsessed with dairy. Like if you leave me and cheese in one room, cheese has no chance. Yeah. Like I'll eat all the cheese, uh, in the house.

For example, 

Dr. Brighten: I was interviewing a dietician this morning, Alana, who, um, we were talking about her having three kids and we were talking about how often there are, and it's usually men. We were talking about it's men out there saying, nobody should eat dairy, you shouldn't eat dairy. And I had shared with her like, the moment I get pregnant, [00:11:00] I gotta have full fat Greek yogurt.

Like it has to be in my life. I don't know what it is, but that's what I have to start the day with. And. She was like, that's so interesting too, because like I immediately start craving dairy and I was like, yes. Mm-hmm. There's the woman's inspiration and I'm not even a dairy person at all. Yeah. But there's like that woman intuition and then there is what we're being told by know.

Mm-hmm. So-called health experts who've never been pregnant, who've never breastfed, who've never had that experience. And I think that is so interesting when we talk about that to just remind us that like what. Men are out there saying might be very true information for them in certain populations, but you always have to come back to what's true for you.

Aggie Lal: Yeah. 100. Yeah, 100%. I, I feel it so much. And like, you know, people say like, oh, you are lacking calcium, so just supplement calcium. I did, and I still craved dairy. Mm-hmm. I still need to have my yogurt. I have dairy for every, like someone who didn't really eat dairy. Now there, there's dairy at every single meal that I [00:12:00] have, uh, like multiple forms and that makes me feel good.

And so like you have to trust that. Mm-hmm. And I think at the end of the day, it's like there is the science that we know. And obviously, of course I try to eat good quality dairy. And I started liking really sheeps. Yogurt. Mm-hmm. Because it is, um, a little bit higher in protein and maybe easier to digest.

Um, and it's just like for variety. But at the end of the day, it's like, okay, cool. Like this is the science and there's your, like, intuition as a woman. Mm-hmm. Like, this feels good or this doesn't feel good. And always remember that above everything that any doctor tells you or any science. You know, study tells you, because it's like at the end of the day, it hasn't been tested on you, so you just see what feels right.

Right? Mm-hmm. 

Dr. Brighten: Well, and I think it's interesting that we're having that conversation now. 'cause that was really like the impetus of your book. I mean mm-hmm. You really stepped into this male dominant space. Thank God, because you know, male biohackers, we all know them. We know them in real life, [00:13:00] lovely people.

Amazing. What they say doesn't always translate to what works with our female physiology. And so I'm just curious, like, what was your experience that brought you to being like, I need to write the female biohackers book? 

Aggie Lal: Um, because I just felt like, you know, obviously following day four, I adore it and love, I just, I was like, wow.

Like I just felt like there's, I can never get it right. Mm-hmm. Because it's just not me. And I think there's a part of me that I called. Just life that I wanna enjoy. And you know, Dave's like, oh, I haven't had any seed oils in for 14 years. Yeah. Or since 1996 or something crazy like this. And everybody, I'm like, wow.

Like I know that something has seed oils, but like sometimes I just wanna have a meal with you because we're connecting. Let's have some bread. Yeah. And like, like to me that like, whether it's oxytocin, whether it's endorphins of like a good deep conversation with a friend [00:14:00] overrides the cortisol that I have.

I'm like, oh my God, is it cedars? Like, what am I gonna have? Yeah. And so like, we operate differently. Like Dave is so good and a lot of men with structure and discipline, and I don't think we women thrive through discipline. There's a little bit of that, but we thrive through connection and pleasure and, and really just like stepping into our intuition.

And so I realized, I'm like, oh, I wanna write a book for. A normal woman like myself who, who isn't even trying to get it perfect. Mm-hmm. And like a lot of times people be like, well, but you know, she had her boobs done, or like, she's still getting her nails done. Like, who is she thinking she is? I'm like, it's literally, this is exactly what it is.

Like I, I'm not even like trying to get it perfect and I probably won't be in, I, I will be eating wheat crackers in my pregnancy and watching TV on my couch. And it's like part of the experience, 'cause to me is balance. Mm-hmm. Because it's just like the harder I am on myself, the less I love myself. I don't see that I'm also human and I just, I have a, I can have a bad day and like [00:15:00] feel overwhelmed and.

That to me is like true wellness, right? Mm-hmm. So it's a different approach to wellness, right? It's just like wellness is taking care of yourself, whatever you know, and being kind to 

Dr. Brighten: yourself. Let me just say that if Dave was dying his hair, I don't know whether he does or doesn't, but if he was dying his hair, you wouldn't see a gaggle of ladies or men being like, oh, well who does he think he is?

Mm-hmm. That he's dying. His hair is this double standard That happens a lot, is that if you are going to be the pillar of health, you must be the perfection of health. Yeah. And I think as a woman, yeah, I'm 100% as a woman. And I think that is such a detrimental mindset to your health. Mm-hmm. Like perfection.

There's so many sayings about perfection, but I will tell you that study after study shows that the A type personality, the perfection personality, the people pleasing personality. Is the personality that gets chronic illness and like develops disease. I say this in any type personality who has autoimmune disease?

Okay's 

Aggie Lal: no coincidence, but I'm [00:16:00] the victim of that too, right? Like we've, we live in this prison that we have built for ourselves. It's like high achievers and I have obviously tried to live like day for a couple of years, and they go to a point where I'm like, oh no. The, as a woman, there was that extra expectation.

I'm like, what is beautiful? If you get a six pack, you're too skinny or too masculine. If you don't have a six pack, well, you let yourself go. Mm-hmm. If, right? Like, there's the, if you don't have a family, then you're self-centered. If you have a family, again, you're just like, you know, you're just a mom and you have to, you know, prioritize yourself.

It just feels like you can never win. Mm-hmm. Because it is from every angle they can attack you. So you just have to get to a point of like, wow. Like, I need to snap out of this matrix of expectations and be like, I'm just gonna, just being imperfect. Mm-hmm. And like. Yeah. Yeah. Embrace it. 

Dr. Brighten: What did you find were some of the biggest and most impactful shifts that happened when you went away from that masculine dominated way of biohacking [00:17:00] towards, I'm going to embrace the feminine, I'm going to embrace me, and I'm going to actually work with my body.

Was there anything that you were like, these were such pivotal practices for me? 

Aggie Lal: Living according to my cycle. Mm-hmm. And I always say like, I don't care if there's studies, no studies, just when you read a lot of business books and they talk about cycling energy and how, uh, I don't know if you read the book, um, 10 x is, um, better than two x or easier than two X by Dan Sullivan.

No. Super. I should, it's amazing. And he basically says, obviously he's a, a billionaire and he, he explains that if you wanna run a business, you have to have these creative days, these admin days. Mm-hmm. And then the rest days, and he's like, when it's a rest day, you actually just rest, you're not allowed to do anything else.

The creative days, it's when you like, can like fulfill, like you spend time with yourself and, and have deep, um, like work sessions. And then admin days is when you interact with your team. And so he, that's [00:18:00] his recipe for like. Deep true success. He never says be available 24 7. Mm-hmm. Or work five days a a week.

He's like, if you really wanna step into the next level and 10 x your life, there's like, there has to be a flow. And he says like, the most important days are your rest days. When you rest, you actually rest and you wanna work towards having at least 50% of your days rest. Mm-hmm. Because the, he and he explains that the, at a higher level you operate, the more rest you need.

And I was like, wow, it's so interesting that this is coming from a billionaire. And he's like, this is gonna, like, your mind will obviously trick you. And I know this is a little different when you work as a job, but he said like, this is the goal that you're working towards and mm-hmm over time, over time, you wanna buy back your time.

And I was like, wow. It's a little bit like that. Obviously this is build into a traditional masculine week, um, or weekday. But when you think about cycle thinking where you're like, oh, my luteal face, I should slow down and like go within. [00:19:00] And if you just look at cycle thinking as a, as an energy, um, cycling exercise that allows you to tune in and sometimes give, sometimes take, which we never take because we're women.

Mm-hmm. And we feel guilt, shame, and all the other bullshit emotions when we learn how to take or ask for help. And then it's like, oh, this is time for me to give and then time to receive, time for me to sew and then reap. It's like, it's like, it's just like ocean. Right? And as you learn that. That's all.

You don't even like change your food at the beginning or work out any differently. Just cycle your energy. Mm-hmm. You realize, I'm like, oh wow. Like I can keep going forever. Yeah. Right. Because there was, I don't give, give, give all the time, six, seven days a week. Right. And so I, I, I think that was like the biggest one because it was also like such a big step towards saying no to patriarchy.

Mm-hmm. And a lot of times we think we have to fight patriarchy, but the way you fight patriarchy is actually just to love yourself as a woman. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Right. Did [00:20:00] you recognize that the first trimester was going to be an extension of that luteal face? No. I thought I'm gonna be better than that, but it is.

Yeah. I mean, what we're experiencing in the luteal phase is the setup for the first trimester and for women to understand if they've never been pregnant. If they're like, well, what's happening then? It is all internal. You are building, every single cell is being laid down, every system of the body, everything is very internal work.

It's not the external season of your life. Mm-hmm. Because there's so much energy going in, and it's not just a placenta and a baby that's developing that your uterus is changing. Your breasts are changing. I don't about your nipples, man, this week my nipples were like the worst and I was like, oh, I forgot about this.

Yeah. I couldn't even lift my arms. I was like, oh no. Like this is so painful. Totally. And so that's, um, I think a really, as you talk about that internal season, really important [00:21:00] reframe for that first trimester of like, it's the extension of the luteal phase. Then you'll find in the, in the second trimester, now everything is the, the foundation's been laid.

You've got more energy, you are being more, um, outward. And that season starts to shift as well because the placenta now taken over. So your little corpus lium, which like this is such a miracle, your ovary has this corpus lium left behind after you ovulate and that produces all the progesterone you need until the placenta can take over.

Still. Tiny, tiny like 

Aggie Lal: thing. I saw it actually in the ultrasound yesterday. Yeah. And she's like, that's your corpus luteum. Yeah. Doing 

Dr. Brighten: all of that work. And it is. So serious about its job that it overshoots progesterone sometimes, which is why you're like, my breasts are so tendered. I'm so tired. Like, I, like, I'm gassy, I'm bloated, my gut doesn't move, and I just like, I know, wanna eat all the carbs.

I, I said to my husband 

Aggie Lal: like, I don't remember what time I went to the bathroom. I more fiber. No, for sure. It's, it's just such a, it's so, I love the comparison 'cause it's like, it really is like, it's [00:22:00] hard to, because there. There, there's delayed ification or maybe no ratification at all. Mm-hmm. To fill your own cup.

And I think maybe this first trimester is like filling my own cup and learning to do that to a way deeper level, obviously. Yeah. I, I've like, I was like, wow. Like I, I've never been in a situation where I sleep until nine or 10:00 AM mm-hmm. I was like, awesome. I was in high school, you know, you're like, 

Dr. Brighten: teenage me is like Yeah.

Aggie Lal: Because I'm the, like, I'm always the type of person, even when I had super, our wedding, we went to bed at 4:00 AM I woke up at seven. I was like, that's what I am. I'm excelling to the circadian rhythm that mm-hmm. That's just who I am. So it was so interesting 'cause you feel like you get to live almost like a different life because I'm like, well, I sleep till nine 30 mm-hmm.

On a Wednesday because it's just like, and I'm like, that is long. So yeah. That's been, that's been definitely like embracing it and it's like there is the best medicine for first trimester. It's talking to other women who have been pregnant. Mm. It's like, because. You just feel so seen and [00:23:00] nothing. No. Um, yes.

Supplements help and B six and I heard just like histamine reaction, I got probiotics for histamine and yeah, none of this works. And then you talk to a girlfriend who's been there and you already feel like, okay, I feel better. Right. Because you feel so seen. I think that's like the best medicine for us to go through the anything, right?

Mm-hmm. The sisterhood. 

Dr. Brighten: Well, and as you're talking about this, you know, you had already brought up community and how that's actually more important than avoiding seed oils for women. Mm-hmm. Right? And the validates that, and as you just said, like this is the thing that's nourishing me the most. Mm-hmm. We fixate on food so much as the thing that is going to cause disease or like cure your disease or make it so you never get disease.

And the reality is, is that's maybe. 25% of the equation. And there's why? Because 

Aggie Lal: it's so easy to control, really control because it's very masculine, right? Mm-hmm. Like you can like count your macros and count your calories, and it's just, again, very like patriarchal [00:24:00] in a way. And society or community. How do we quantify that?

Yeah. How do you explain when a good conversation like this one makes me feel so good. Mm-hmm. I can't really, right? So if there's not enough data, then, you know, there's definitely not enough data on the good conversation in pregnancy there, there is on bananas or macros or calories. Yeah. And so you realize that it's like you often override with your mind, but we, women don't feel good when we live from our minds.

We live from our hearts and our like, you know, intuition and our bodies. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. And 

Aggie Lal: so that goes back to like that energy and like stepping, like stepping into that feminine energy. And especially in pregnancies, like you can live your pregnancy from like a very masculine. Mindset and mind, and you will probably struggle because I don't like that I'm getting fat and like wow, like I'm showing too early or too much.

Mm-hmm. Or too late. Like there's always some story that you tell yourself, I've gained too much weight, I didn't gain enough weight. Like it almost feels like there was like, according to who, like every [00:25:00] time it's different. And I think that feminine wisdom is like, well, different and this is my story and this is what's, that's the intelligent, the life force within me let I let her do its thing, right?

Mm-hmm. 

Dr. Brighten: You are over 35. Mm-hmm. First time pregnancy, geriatric, geriatric, advanced maternal age. Yeah. I mean, I had my second at 40 40 and everybody was like, the way medicine treats you is if your body is constantly trying to kill your baby, as if like something is wrong with you. They're just, they're waiting for you to fail, is what it felt like.

Mm-hmm. And every time, I remember when I did the glucose test and they were like, oh, you're, you're definitely gonna, my, my OB that I had at the time, she was like, you definitely have gestational diabetes. I've never not seen someone your age. And I was like, watch me, watch me. I'm gonna talk to my cells.

You have no idea who you're talking to. And like, wow. I did not have, she was like, oh, this is the first time I've seen a healthy metabolic test. I was like, yeah, going into pregnancy, my hemoglobin A1C was five. Like, what it, what? Like, wow. [00:26:00] You know? And. Uh, and it's not to say that I'm shaming anybody if you do get gestational diabetes, because sometimes you are fit and of the best health, but you're like pancreas and cells, they're struggling.

Mm-hmm. For whatever reason, and it's not completely in your control. But I was using that example because it was that I, they already decided I was, I failed. I already decided I was going to fail before they even had the results. And so I'm curious, from your perspective, first time pregnancy, have you had any run in with that?

And if so, like how are you navigating it? 

Aggie Lal: I think it's like, even just like in general, like the medical, traditional medical system is almost like has an incentive for a woman not to step onto her power and for her to fail. Right. Because it's like, if you are struggling and if you feel like you need an epidural and uh, and you know, a C-section, obviously that.

They make more money than [00:27:00] if you have a home birth. That's just like, 'cause technically birth should be birth. And um, doctor I work with, she's outside of insurance and she's like, whether it's a C-section, home, birth, hospital, birth, it's doesn't matter. Because that way it's like, why would I be incentivized to cut you?

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Aggie Lal: I shouldn't. Right. And so like, that's such a beautiful thought process. Like how different would we be if the hospital wasn't incentivized to have you on their hospital bed as little time as possible. Yeah. Right. So they're just like out of, should be just like one each and then doesn't really matter.

So that's one. And then second, I think it's just like, you really have to be a ninja at finding the right people. Mm-hmm. Because everything in pregnancy just like feeds that fear that's already kinda within you. Yeah. Like, am I gonna be okay? Can I do this? Which is like the not enoughness that we all carry within and that pregnancy can only.

Make it stronger, right? Yeah. 'cause you feel like, am I, especially first time I'm like, am I gonna do this? [00:28:00] Like, can I, can I, am I strong enough? Am I capable enough? And just being surrounded by women who can like, yes you can. Yes you can. Mm-hmm. There's nothing wrong with you. Um, it's been monumental, but like, I felt like.

I was like, wow, you have to be very selective how you pick your doctor. And just like asking the questions like what do you think? Right. And like obviously I've spoken to quite a few of OBGYNs and there are ones that are like really empowering. They're the ones that will like immediately tap into that fear within you.

Dr. Brighten: Yeah, 

Aggie Lal: your age. You definitely don't wanna risk it at the hospital. Oh, we have to be X, Y, and Z. And so like if you meet someone who can, who entertains the fear that's already within you, that's a really steep slope, right? Mm-hmm. Because it's like the person that you're working with should be reminding you of your power.

No matter whether you are, whether you have to have a c-section, doesn't matter. You can go through the C-section from a place of empowerment or from a place of fear, I can't do this. Please save me. [00:29:00] And ultimately the birth will change you. And it's. And you, we wanna make sure that it empowers you instead of traumatizes you.

Right? Mm-hmm. 

Dr. Brighten: You were saying before we hit record that you've been looking for a very specific experience for your birth, and you're like, it seems to be that people are basically like, oh, what do you wanna birth with the deer out in the forest? Or like, you're going in for a c-section and, and it's very hard to find that middle ground, something in between.

Yeah. 

Aggie Lal: And it's like, and again, I don't know how I'm gonna give birth or how I'm gonna be given to give birth. None of us really do until we get there. Right? Yeah. So like, I'm, I have to just keep the, uh, keep it in mind, but for me, it felt like when I started mentioning that I wanna like, at least try to prepare for home birth and then see how I feel mm-hmm.

People were like, oh, wow. Like, yeah, you're gonna be in the woods with the deer and like, you know, out in the wild. I'm like, no, I just know that, like I know what my nervous system is like at a hospital. I've been to a [00:30:00] hospital a couple of times, a, a association with. Uh, my grandma dying, or my dad being very sick.

Mm-hmm. Or me being, you know, I had a car accident, so I don't have a very good association with the hospital. I know I immediately go into a fight or flight. Yeah. The fluorescent light, the, the urgency. So it's like, obviously I know how I'm programmed. It's gonna be really hard for me to all of a sudden and step into my rest and their dress and like, you know, produce oxytocin for birth.

Mm-hmm. I just know that this will be personally really hard if people don't have a backstory with the hospital, that's good for them. So I was like, okay, cool. I will know that that would, you know, adrenaline and oxytocin don't go well together. Mm-hmm. So it would be much harder for me to have a natural birth in the hospital.

Would I consider home birth? Just because I can for sure feel more relaxed and that's basically what I'm asking myself and exploring. And I don't think there's right or wrong answer. I just know that. My grandma gave birth at home [00:31:00] and it was completely normal. Mm-hmm. And it's like within, you know, 60, 70 years, we still, in Europe it's way more popular to have a home birth, but it would just, yeah.

We, we turn something that's quite natural into a thing that we need to be safe from. And it's almost like a 

Dr. Brighten: disease, like an emergency in a lot of ways. I mean, women's medicine is about making us a commodity. Commodity to generate profit on. And I take issue not with people going to the hospital, not with C-section, not with any of that.

I take issue what we actually we're doing at the best when we are failing the hardest in our maternal fetal outcomes. And when we look to other countries who are doing it well. Midwives are first intervention doctors are there for when things go wrong. There are more home births, there are more birth centers.

And within the United States, and I say this to someone I shared with you, I've had two home births and people say the most awful things to me still. Well, they'll be like, really? Yeah. They'll be like, oh wow. Well, you're lucky they [00:32:00] survived. And I'm like, and I guess, I don't know, I'm just at an age where I'm just like, that's a really rude thing to say to someone.

What did you intend to, to do with that comment? Mm-hmm. And usually people are like, oh yeah, I shouldn't have said that. That is really rude to say. But it's the same thing for me. I'm, I'm neuro divergent. I can't be somewhere with fluorescent lights. I can literally freaking hear them. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I can hear them.

Mm-hmm. And it makes me feel like my skin is crawling off my body. Like I can't be somewhere where somebody is touching me constantly being in the room with me. Mm-hmm. Like when I birth, it is a. And like my husband will attest to this, so I can be very cranky, but I am like an animal birthing. I'm like, I need a dark womb space of my own to be in.

Don't look at me, don't talk to me. Don't breathe on me. Only if it's absolutely necessary. Yeah. Like this is what I need. And within the United States it is find hard to find a hospital that you can, you can be that way. And they're much more rare to come across. Um, as I was sharing with you, because of having diffuse [00:33:00] adenomyosis, the risk of a hemorrhage and my uterus, you know, very real staring down like it could be an emergency hysterectomy to save my life.

I can't do a home birth. Mm-hmm. But I found a hospital. Where they do humanized birth is what they call it. Oh, they do, there no lights on. They're going keep you in the dark. No way. No sound, no fetal monitors. You're not hooked up to anything. No, ID 'cause it's like 

Aggie Lal: cha Yeah. I'm like, I'm like, I'm stressed just listening.

Dr. Brighten: I'm like, know my heart's still beating. Cool. Yeah. I'm like my, my default, my nervous system was like laid down to be dysregulated. I gotta do a lot of work to stay regulated. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And once you go into birth, you are so vulnerable. It is so, such a vulnerable time and your body knows it, and your body's like, I have to safeguard and I have to protect.

And, and I, I bring this up in this conversation because I think we're just not allowing enough. Space to be able to talk about that. That like this hospital model that we're all told we have to be in doesn't work for [00:34:00] everybody. And it never was designed for it. It was never even designed for women.

Mm-hmm. It was designed to make it easy and convenient for the doctor, for the people who are upcoding and charging. And yes, the doctor, but also this day and age we're looking at hospital administrators. Like really, there's so many doctors who are like, we can do this better. I wanna do it better. And admin's like, yeah, but my paycheck says you don't.

Yeah. And that's like, and it's 

again 

Aggie Lal: like the, it's. When you see how hospitals are incentivized, then you realize it's, the problem is more of the system than the people. Like, it's not like your doctor's out there to hurt you, but I mean, there are studies that doctors choose a c-section to avoid, um, a lawsuit, right?

Mm-hmm. Just, just to be safe. Right? And so this is not anything that would ever happen in Europe 'cause people don't sue their doctors. Yeah. And I feel like because we made it so okay to like sue the doctor for every mistake when in Europe, I think it's understood that this is a human 

Dr. Brighten: mm-hmm. [00:35:00] Not a 

Aggie Lal: computer.

So he will make some of the mistakes. And I feel like that allows the, that makes us doctors paranoid. Yeah. Because it's like, it feels like, oh, I would rather do something that's not gonna be the best for you, but at least not gonna sue me. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. 

Aggie Lal: And everything's gonna be okay instead of just trying to go for something that would improve your experience.

Right? Mm-hmm. And so and so, obviously very, very complicated. I just wish we could normalized women. Wanting to have a beautiful experience. Like it shouldn't be a case of like, you don't really matter as long as your child is healthy, you're like redundant, almost. Yeah. Carry this child, like, make sure it's healthy and then once it's born, like no one cares how well you feel, how well you're covering.

Mm-hmm. It's just all about the baby. And women feel super depressed and I think that's what scares me the most. It's not even the pain of labor, it's the postpartum and like the lack of understanding of how supportive we need to be mm-hmm. In our culture. And how like in Chinese [00:36:00] medicine, they literally have.

Centers for post bathroom women to go for 40 days, and it's a hotel for them, so it get served. They get, they get their hair washed, their massages. Mm-hmm. And it's not like a luxury for them. It's like, yo, you just healing this massive hole that from your placenta and you just spend, you know, nine months feeding, uh, a baby out of your minerals and, and vitamins most when you need that time so you can be a good mom.

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. And 

Aggie Lal: it's like less focus on the baby, more focused on like, let's make sure you're okay. Mm-hmm. Because you're really important. I think that's the conversation that's worth having because it, it, I can see how scary it can be that we don't have the right systems in place to support women. Mm-hmm.

You kinda go home and then you're like expected to bounce back. Yeah. Right. And like. Start working out and go back to work and like share your baby on Instagram and you know, like opening energetically to mm-hmm. To the [00:37:00] world where in fact it's time to still go with it. So I think that's like I, if kind of like what I'm trying to say, not saying that you should do a home birth, I'm just saying the, the experience of birth of pregnancy matters.

Mm-hmm. Right? Like the, how you feel matters for you to feel good matters. The how you feel after your birth also matters. How you're respected, how you're being treated. It's like, it's really, really important. Please fight and make sure that you surround by people that see you, that your partner can see that how you feel around birth.

If you wanna be cranky, go for it. Like this is your birth. Like whatever works for you in that 

Dr. Brighten: moment. Right. Yeah. Well, and I think that's all really important for women to understand is that it's not about. Do a home birth, have a C-section, get the epidural, not get the epidural. It's about doing what feels right for yourself and feeling supported in making those decisions.

Mm-hmm. It's something that, um, for me personally, [00:38:00] like whenever I will share that, like I had an unmedicated birth, people are like, oh, so you, you know, you were trying to like win a prize or all this stuff where people told me there's no, you know, ribbon that you're gonna get at the end of this. And I'm like, well, I actually have paradoxical, uh, responses to medications and I have been put under and made numb many times to only fill it or to wake up and I'm not gonna risk an epidural.

Going through that and then having it like not work on me or having some side effect we didn't see coming and like, or just you're not 

Aggie Lal: c like fully conscious of the experience. 'cause a lot of women say they're like, that made me so spacey. Mm-hmm. Wasn't like, I'm like looking at these videos. I wasn't even there.

Like, I don't even register that moment. Yeah. Which is obviously a shame and I think it's like. How do you, how do you protect yourself and like, do what feels right because like if you don't wanna go through it, it's like, yeah, for sure. It's the scariest thing on your life if you wanna have support through an epidural.

Mm-hmm. Or even like, like do it. Like I 

Dr. Brighten: think about it. No, just like every time, look, I will just like be [00:39:00] honest that I'm like, oh man, that would be so nice just to like have a moment where you're not feeling it. But I'm also, but like why I share this because it's like, that's what's true for me. Yeah. And that may not be true for you.

And if I made that choice, understand, this is what went into that and that had nothing to do with you, that should not dictate your choice or your experience, or I'm not judging 

Aggie Lal: your experience. I'm just having this conversation about like, let's make sure we all have, 'cause if it was a case of like epidural means that you're gonna have a beautiful experience of your birth and you feel respected and empowered, I'm like, cool.

Like I probably will be the first one to get the epidural. But that's not the same thing. Like you can. Have a home birth that can make you feel empowered or can have epidural and be almost like a victim of the whole system that you're, you know, you have a cascade of mm-hmm. Drugs that are given to you and you feel like out of control and then you don't feel as empowered.

So I think the conversation, it's not about the way you birth, it's the way the pro, how the process makes you feel. And does it leave you empowered or [00:40:00] disempowered? Yeah. And we should all leave this, we were given that we're the only ones that get to give birth men not, and I think that's because we need to claim that power back.

Mm-hmm. And whatever it is that you're choosing to do, do it from a play. I have a, a friend, her name is Danielle, she had a c-section, the most empowering experience of her life. Mm-hmm. Because it had, she had to happen and, and I, I have, without the shadow of a doubt, like she left that experience so fully empowered.

And I have friends that had natural birth, but they felt like things were out of control for them and they felt. Guilt and shame and, and like resentment towards their child for a while. Mm. Because they felt like this was terrible. And they don't, they can't even talk about it because the moment they close their eyes, they start crying.

Yeah. That's, 

Dr. Brighten: yeah. I mean it's, it's always unfortunate I think when women have those kinds of experiences, the stories, because on top of not having someone to hold you postpartum, there's not a lot of space to be able to process that, especially when you're trying to carry if care for a newborn. [00:41:00] Um, I'm curious, what did you change about your routine and your life as you went to prepare to get pregnant?

Aggie Lal: Oh, wow. I feel like it's been a while. 'cause I feel like for me, preparing for fertility has been like, just like a part of biohacking. Like, I was like, what's the goal? Like people have different goals. Mm-hmm. Goal is six pack. Or, or longevity, like as people often say, and I'm like, well, longevity is pretty similar to fertility in my, in my opinion.

Right. Yeah. And so, like, I wasn't, I often tell women like, don't look at the fittest girl who has this biggest six pack and 8% body fat as the symbol of wealth. 'cause I know these girls and they often don't have a period. Mm-hmm. So for me as like, my goal has always been fertility. How well do I feel in my body?

Like, how is my PMS how is my ovulation? Like, how do I feel? Like, how is my libido? So that was like always the goal. So it's been a while, like since I, I've done anything specific, I, I'm a big fan of organ [00:42:00] meat. I can't. Mm-hmm. I, I just in the capsule form, which I, no, not in the first trimester man. No, no, no.

But like in general, I, I can't stomach unless it's like my mom makes like a pate. But other than that, organ meat is just, doesn't go well. Yeah. Have you been smelling the capsules? 

Dr. Brighten: Like can you smell them? Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. But they have to be swallowed really, really quickly. Yeah. Do you keep 'em in the fridge?

Aggie Lal: Oh, that's a good idea. Keep 'em in the 

Dr. Brighten: fridge or freezer and that'll like eliminate the smell of them. Same with like pro tip everyone. If your prenatals are making you like nauseous because of the smell, stick it in the fridge. Oh wow. Yeah. That's such a good idea. Yeah. But even postpartum, 'cause I always consume encapsulated organ meat, postpartum.

And um, even early postpartum I'll still be like, oh, that smell really, I can smell it still. Like, yeah. So I just stick it in the freezer and consume it that 

Aggie Lal: way. Yeah. And I, I bake bone marrow, so I like stuff like that. I love butter. So more I would say like closer to like ancestral diet. You know, I love western price.

I dunno if you're familiar with him. Yeah. But [00:43:00] it's like, yeah. So that's kind of like what, what I was like leaning into, there are lots of proteins, not avoiding carbs at all, and just feeling like good sleep and, and leaning into. How my hormones are performing versus, and that, like, when I first started biohacking, obviously I was like, I need to be super skinny, right?

Mm-hmm. I thought it was like, that's what being healthy. Yeah. And it took me a while. I'm like, oh yeah, it's kind of easy to get skinny, but like to get really healthy with your hormones, that's a complete different story. And so obviously your body fat's not gonna be at eight or 12%. Mm-hmm. At least for me, um, it's, and it's just embracing to be, I don't wanna say even bigger, 'cause 14% body fat is not even bigger, but just like.

Prioritizing hormones over everything else. 

Dr. Brighten: Did you have hormonal issues when you were striving for that, be as thin as possible? Health mindset? Uh, 

Aggie Lal: I had a hor, I mean, I feel like I had hormonal issues all my life, but like a lot of times we feel like unless it's, um, like yeah, [00:44:00] pure painful periods, PMS, terrible skin.

Um, I had my hair falling out, like constant bloating. So all of these things that I felt like are normal in a way. Mm-hmm. Because it's like part of being a woman. And so then over time I realized it's just. Th this is all kinda connected to every single thing I have. Mm-hmm. Is connected to hormones. Um, and so when I was skinnier, I, it, I hate to say this, I wasn't even tracking my cycle.

Oh, okay. You know, 'cause I was like on the pill, like, doesn't really matter. Like, it wasn't really my goal. Only when I started waking up, I was like, oh yeah, no, my cycle really matters. And like, I will need to eat a little bit more carbs and I will need to, you know, um, adjust my cold plunge routine to like really care to make sure that my period is in one day.

But it's like four days. But yeah. But like back in the day, like missing a period wasn't a big deal, which is kind of a shame. Like I wasn't really educated enough to, to fight for it. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. Cold plunges 

Aggie Lal: [00:45:00] saunas. Are you doing all of that now? No, no, no. I mean, this is one of the ways I knew how I was pregnant.

It was the only. To three and a half weeks pregnant. So you technically, I didn't know, but we went for hot yoga. Mm-hmm. And, and I usually love hot yoga, but like after 15 minutes I had to leave, I was like, oh, there's no way I can stand that. It was like so hot. Overheated. So yeah. This like my body immediately said, no, for sure.

Yeah. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. And those things are contraindicated in women who are pregnant. And yet because there is such, this like just flood of information online about the health benefits, it often gets left outta the conversation that we have to modify things like cold plunges, postpartum. Absolutely not like, no. As you've brought up, you know, Chinese medicine culture, there's, uh, Mexican culture, there's Ayurvedic culture.

Pretty much like every other culture outside the US has a whole postpartum period. Your feet don't touch the [00:46:00] floor. You eat warm foods, you stay warm, you keep your uterus, you know, protected and bound and like you are working on, um, healing your body. And yet sometimes people feel that pressure of like, oh, disor pressure.

Crazy, right? Yeah, 

Aggie Lal: yeah. So much like, come on, go back to work and like do everything that your husband is doing, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. And I also think, I always think about like, um, I don't know how it is when your husband gets sick, but when my husband gets sick, it's like the end of the world, right?

They have like a little cold and they're just like, I can't do anything. And I'm like, you all are not equipped for birth. Like you are not. This is why it's not you and it's us because, and so I, I think about that because I think that. In that really masculine aspect of society. Like they're not giving you maternity leave in the United States.

'cause they're like, what do, what do women need a vacation for after they have a baby? I literally heard a politician say that, and I was like, I'm embarrassed for you and I hope that your mom didn't hear that, because that is such a [00:47:00] rude thing to say. But you know, there, because like society is all like set up on really this 24 hour masculine clock of like, the way we think things should be, it can feel really difficult when everything external is telling you.

Like, get back up, bounce back, get going. Mm-hmm. Like clean your house, like do all things. Right. 

Aggie Lal: Yeah. I have a question. So I, I saw a reel online that had. Quite a bit of views and I saw this movement that apparently men start to take care of themselves better when women get pregnant. Mm-hmm. Like they start working out more.

And so my husband started training for a mouth and the moment I got pregnant Yeah. I was like, what? Like where is this coming from? And then I saw this through. Apparently it's a thing that men tend to work. I dunno. Was your husband 

Dr. Brighten: the same? Well, the thing that happens when we get pregnant is we up the game.

Right. Because we're like, oh my gosh, I have this great responsibility, so we're eating everybody. Mm-hmm. Even better, not so much first trimester, but we start eating better. We're making sure we're like really [00:48:00] cognizant of our health. And I think that really lends itself to the influence of like, our partner and, uh, you know, they'll, they'll say like, if you are someone who works out, you wanna find a partner who works out, because otherwise, like it's easier to drop the other Oh yeah.

You can, you're cohabitating with each other. You can influence each other. Um, and so I think it, it's absolutely a phenomenon that happens. And it's also something for people trying to get pregnant. I always say like, whatever mom to be is doing, dad to be is doing. Like, you guys are working out, you are making sure that you're eating well.

Like you're, you're doing all of that together. Because often it's men coming in after the fact of like, oh, we're pregnant now. And, um, I interviewed Dr. Amy who goes by the egg whisper and she's like, I always tell patients, eat like you're pregnant now. Eat and live like you're pregnant now. And that same is true for partners.

But yeah, they tend to be like, oh shoot, the things happening now. And like, yeah, he's 

Aggie Lal: like in a panic mode, like training for a marathon. I'm like, babe, like, you're fine. Like, you're not gaining weight. 

Dr. Brighten: [00:49:00] It's, yeah, it's like just kicked in. But also you don't want him like training for a marathon and doing all of that when you're postpartum.

So it's like, yeah, do that now because now I need you at home, helping me out later. Okay. That's, 

Aggie Lal: that's actually quite funny. But yeah, I thought it was actually, yeah. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. So have you started thinking about postpartum at all? Because I feel like you have, because you've already been talking about like, you know, the Korean, uh, hotels that you go to postpartum.

Yeah. I really am like signing up for that. We just 

Aggie Lal: start, start one in the US 'cause I feel like it's like, it's, it's so funny that we give women in the US this illusion that this is the best country in the world for us. Mm-hmm. Yet when you look at how women are treated in other countries. It's not exactly the best female friendly country in the world, right?

Mm-hmm. And even just this understanding that every time a woman asks for help in post Petra, it's like almost like, yeah, it's considered help. Oh, I need help with cooking. I need help with this. Instead of like, this should never be a part of your responsibility to begin with. Mm-hmm. When [00:50:00] you're, when you're just given birth.

Like, that should be your family, your friends. And I see now these like, uh, late pregnancy parties instead of a baby shower. Um, you take 20 of your friends and you all cook meals and you freeze them. Yeah. And it's like, oh, this is very cool. Yeah. Like, I wanna do that with my friends and just kind of like, don't even consider it like help.

'cause I think we really struggled to mm-hmm. Get help, but just consider, it's like. It's, it's co it's community like, community. Like it's not, don't even think that people are helping you. Yeah. This is just a part of the energetical exchange. Like you've just given so much life and so the life wants to give back to you, right?

Mm-hmm. Because it's like life force and then life force out. So like, learn how to receive because you've already given so much. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. I've talked about, um, needing postpartum doulas and how that can be so helpful for women. And there were some comments I received online [00:51:00] and this one person was like, that's what dads are for.

And she, she very much was adamant. She's like, God designed this like family unit of a man and a woman and a man's there. That's a perfect design. And I countered with. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do believe that God designed community. Mm-hmm. If not tribes. I recall some tribes wandering the desert for a while, like once upon a time that's what we had.

And it was never a men and women wandering the desert. Yeah. No. And they're all, it was community. So, and the community didn't just look at like, oh, this woman's given birth. And so like we owe this to her. They also looked at, we have a new member of our community, we need to support enough, lift this new member of the community and she's such an integral part of the community.

We need to support her and her husband's an integral part of the community. And so mm-hmm. It was community that helped us in that way. And because the US is so hyper-focused on individualism mm-hmm. And has fractured the community. For [00:52:00] profit. Like really that was done on purpose. We now have to pay for these things.

We have to pay for the postpartum doula. We have to pay for the lactation consultant. So I grew up in a big Hispanic family. Nobody had a lactation consultant because literally everybody saw breastfeeding. Everybody was breastfeeding. And like I grew up just seeing it all the time. And when people struggled, there was an aunt there, there was somebody there that like stepped in.

And now, you know, as generations have gone on, I'm like, there's nobody around for me. Like there's not, we don't have that same level of community. And so I think when women feel like I'm not enough, really what they feel is something missing. Something's missing, and it must be me. And what they're missing is that community.

Because intuitively we know we were never meant to go it alone. We were supposed to have this, but now we're living in this artificial society where. We no longer have access to that. Yeah. And it becomes this, well, it must be me. That's [00:53:00] the problem. 

Aggie Lal: Yeah. Which is the worst conclusion to, to get to in a way.

Right. But at the end, like I actually, I resonate with every single thing you say, and I think what I'm trying to say, you just say in a much nicer way, but it's exactly how I feel like this is, how do we claim it back? Right. And it's like, it just feels so good. Like, and, and mm-hmm. Going back to the very first thing I said that like, yeah, like you probably can have seas, but if you have it surrounded by community and ounce and they support you, like your body prob has enough of oxytocin and, and how, you know, like that you were able to detox from it.

Yeah. But I think the, all the health issues started because we're so disconnected from community and. We're never were meant to do it alone. 

Dr. Brighten: Mm-hmm. You went from being a travel influencer mm-hmm. To then stepping into this biohacking space, and now you're moving into the mom space. Mm-hmm. Have you even thought about what that's what's gonna happen?

Like, what's gonna evolve online for [00:54:00] you? Not yet. I mean, 

Aggie Lal: still super early. I know. We, like, people don't even know. I know. 

Dr. Brighten: And we're here, you 

Aggie Lal: guys will know soon. Yeah. Um, I think it's like, I think it's just like, it is one of these things that it's like so many labels, right. That you feel like it, they become these little boxes that we're trying to put people in that I was, yes, I did travel and I still travel, but now I'm technically a biohacker and like, what makes me a biohacker?

Now I'm gonna be a mom. And so I'm trying to realize that it's like, it it, I don't wanna build a prison to myself because I want to give the permission to other women to be who they are. Mm-hmm. And we all grow and evolve and so. Mom, it's gonna be one of the things that I do as well as biohacking, as traveling.

And I think as you get older and I'm getting closer to 40, I'm like the, these passions and, and, and those elements of life accumulate. Now I'm a wife as well. Like, so naturally I will have, there will be more parts of me that are out there that I feel deeply passionate about or some less passionate [00:55:00] about.

Mm-hmm. Because my priorities have changed. But at the end of the day, it's just like, I don't know, like I've, I'm curious how different my life would be and I'm giving myself permission. For the life to be different and not holding onto who I used to be. Mm-hmm. And I think I have a lot of friend, I mean, I, I have a lot of friends who started to travel blogging with me and they still do that and they feel trapped and they feel like they would love to do something else, but they feel like they don't wanna lose their community online and, and their followers.

And for me it's just like, I like to think that women that follow me, and they have stayed because of, some of them didn't, the ones that have stayed also evolve and change and they're okay with other people evolving and changing. And that's what true friendship really is, that you're not married to that person that, or marriage even.

Mm-hmm. Like I'm sure your husband's very different person than when you first met him, right? Absolutely. Yeah. And it's like you, if you give yourself the permission to. The change you give other people to do the same thing. And it's like, if we're holding on to this [00:56:00] idea, then that's why people break up.

Because it's like, well, you used to be, you're not this, but I used to be this. Mm-hmm. So let's go back, right? 

Dr. Brighten: I, I am going to show this people that are, uh, as old as me will probably remember. So this is band Metallica? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Everyone. And they had long hair for as long as I remember. Um, until I think I was like 17, 16, 17.

And then they all cut their hair. And the way their fan base completely started like turning on them, they were so upset. And that why bring that up? Because that was such an important moment for me to see that. People don't like change. They expect you to stay stagnant and stay the same. And I would argue Mattel is one of the greatest bands in the world.

I'm biased. I don't know. That's my opinion. I think they're a fantastic band. But even at their peak of success being fantastic, how quickly people turned on them over a [00:57:00] haircut because they cut their hair. And I think we all have to keep that in mind, that people will show you who they are. Absolutely believe them.

And it really sucks when you learn the people who are your greatest fans turned out to not actually be your greatest fans. Mm-hmm. But I, it, it's such a, was such a pivotal thing as a teenager to be like, whoa, this is how the world is. And it's the thing that always comes up in my mind. When you change and you talk about something else, you do something different.

And people are like, wait, I put you in this box. Stay in this box. I'm not comfortable with you leaving the box. And we cannot live our life that way. 

Aggie Lal: Yeah. And I think it's also like being, I dunno how many friends you have and how many none. Zero of those friends. You agree? Just kidding. No, no. How many of these friends do you agree with on everything?

Yeah. I don't have a single friend like this. Yeah. We, we look at motherhood and wellness and biohacking traveling in so many ways. It's like. It's [00:58:00] normal, right? Yeah. And so like, but online, the moment you say one thing, I don't agree with unfollow. Mm-hmm. I never really like to, and that's basically the end of it.

We, our ego is so fragile. Mm-hmm. That anything that will remotely upset us, people are like, I feel offended. You should delete it. I'm like, but it's okay to be offended. You're, yeah. What, who, who is I that gets offended? It's your ego that gets offended. It's, I didn't hurt your true soul by expressing even my political views.

Right? Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, it's just, 'cause I feel like when it comes to even politics, you realize that, okay, I can see why some people vote for this person. I can see some people vote for that. It kind of makes sense when you see the picture. Like, I'm not really surprised. I can see the argument of one side and from the other.

Mm-hmm. I don't feel especially emotional. I wouldn't break a friendship over it in a way, but I also feel like. That's just like a practice [00:59:00] that you disassociate. You realize you're the consciousness that having these thoughts, you're not the thoughts or the opinions, and we want to change their mind, right?

Mm-hmm. Like we, as we evolve, like I'm sure you've changed mind on many things, have changed mind on many things, and like giving people permission to do the same. And I was like, okay, cool. Like, I deeply, deeply, strongly disagree with what you just told me, but it still doesn't matter because it's okay.

Mm-hmm. You know, to not agree on everything that agree to disagree. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. In your life and in health, like what is one thing that you were like, oh, I always thought I was gonna think this, it was gonna be this way. Ooh. And then I had a moment where I was like, actually not I'm, I'm gonna change my mind. 

Aggie Lal: Oh.

Oh my God. Let me think. Um, I think I was way stricter with diet. I thought I will always. I thought, I would feel that diet is very black and white. Mm-hmm. Either healthy or it's [01:00:00] not. And, and there is the one diet, say bio hacking. And then it's like if you're eating something healthy and you're vegan and drinking juices, that's your ultimately damaging your body.

Mm-hmm. And you should really switch to the actual diet. Now I kind of have this idea that, um, what works for me is not gonna work for you. And like, what the, I'm not even like in the pursuit of finding a perfect diet, it's like mm-hmm. What's, what's working for me? And like, I want to eat whole foods.

That's quality, that's grass fed. And at the end of the day, I don't really bread, I eat bread. I better quality bread, better quality dairy, better quality. Oh, oh God, what, uh, what else can I have? Like fries, right? Mm-hmm. Like oils in general. And so there isn't anything that's like a bad food, in my opinion, that unless it's process, but even my relationship with processed food, I was like, I'll never touch it.

Mm-hmm. And now I'm more in a relationship. It's like whatever I give [01:01:00] power to also changes. So like, I'm, I'm trying for the, for the food to be more neutral mm-hmm. That doesn't have power over me and, and this emotional reaction of like, you know? Yeah. 

Dr. Brighten: Does that make sense? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that it's a natural evolution as we're figuring out who we are in this world, that we do go black and white at times, where it's like I have to be super rigid.

I mean, I started studying nutrition at like very young age, like 19 years old. And, um, going into college and I have to say I made myself sick, uh, with the food pyramid whenever people are like. All these people who talk about different diets are gonna, cause Orthorexia was like USDA did it to me actually.

Like I was like trying to get the six servings of grain a day and I was like, I feel so bad. My joints hurt all the time. I had all kinds of issues that I also was the same about vegetables. Like it had to be a minimum of six a day, knocks, you know, nine. Mm-hmm If I'm doing really well and just [01:02:00] really.

And I was very healthy eating a lot of vegetables, like no doubt, but, you know, physically of the food coming in. However, the neuroticism around it also, I was a vegetarian during this time, so the protein counting, always counting my macros. 'cause I didn't wanna be the vegetarian who wasn't getting enough protein.

And like, and I, I look at that now and I'm like, God, that was like a full-time job. Like just trying to like eat that way and get all of those things. And I'm like, I think it's like a really, you know, we're, we're talking about food here, but it's a really normal thing as you're figuring out who you are in life to go into those places where you kind of get like stuck and like really rigid at times.

And then as you evolve and you learn more and you get life experience and then you realize that life isn't about. Perfection and rules and hitting every mark. It is about this entire experience. You allow yourself this space to evolve and the flexibility, I mean, people I've like shared french fries are definitely my [01:03:00] vice.

They're like the thing that I'm like, I do love that. I had some right before 

Aggie Lal: coming here, but just made my own. But like it's the best thing ever. Yeah. 

Dr. Brighten: Actually making your own is way tastier. I will say that. But it was after, um, our embryo transfer. My doctor was like, oh, are you gonna go get one of those McDonald french fries?

I actually haven't. So that's the thing. In my twenties I was like counting every day. I never had fast food. I haven't had fast food in like 30 years. Um, and it's funny 'cause you were saying that about tape and I was just like, oh, that's something that I did in my twenties. And then after that, like, why do I not do it now?

Because I always plan ahead and I feel like absolute garbage if I mm-hmm. If I don't, and again, it's because like. Autoimmune disease. Like I have these health conditions that I'm just like, I get a little less leadway than other people do. Mm-hmm. With their diet. Um, but there's actually this place that makes truffle fries and I was like, no, I want truffle fries.

And he's like, of course, of course you're gonna be like, I'm not eating McDonald's fries. I want these truffle fries. I was like, no. But I like, can't stop thinking about the truffle fries now, but. Anyhow, I shared [01:04:00] french fries, like me eating french fries online. And people were like, it's so refreshing that like, you eat fries.

And I'm like, I eat a lot of stuff. Like what? Like, and I, and it makes me realize that like, okay, like sometimes I think that maybe like, I need to show my food more. I need to show mm-hmm. These things more because it wasn't me acting like, like I feel like anyone who's known me, uh, I feel like if you hung out enough lot, you know, I love french fries.

And yet it was more that like people started having this perception of me and this idea of me. Um, that's all to say. I don't think french fries are bad. And I don't think, um, and I don't, but I used to, like, 

Aggie Lal: back in the day, I wouldn't eat it. And like, yeah, I, today I would go. After the embryo transfer with you and have the travel rice and like, not feel guilty, 

Dr. Brighten: like in my twenties, I also can, so this was also like fat free time.

Like we gotta eat all the grains, go fat free. Mm-hmm. Um, and I just look back at my whole twenties where I convinced myself I didn't [01:05:00] like cheese and I didn't like butter. What a lie. I was lying to myself. But because I was like, this is what my nutrition education is teaching me is like the absolute best, as it turned out, it was all wrong.

And that was, I will say that was when I was on the didactic track and once I started studying, um, into the nutrition science as I was like getting my masters and then actually reading the science of like the antioxidants in butter and how like, how great dairy can be for you. And I'm like, huh, wait, fat is good for you.

And like, wait a minute. And so, um. I just say that, I just share all of that because I think sometimes people see where you're at now and they hear these conversations and they're like, wow. They just like are so enlightened and they had it all figured out. And I'm like, like the only difference between you and me is likely that I fell in every pothole on the road.

And I'm telling you where they are now, so you don't fall in them. Yeah, I didn't know that because like I had this foresight, I just already skinned up my knees, so let me help you not do the [01:06:00] same. 

Aggie Lal: Wow. 

Dr. Brighten: And I 

Aggie Lal: also, I think it's that element of like a conscious. Decision that like now that you know, like maybe fries that are made out of cedar are not the best thing for you.

Mm-hmm. But you make that conscious decision. I think back in the day, I didn't have that information. Yeah. And so that's a different dynamic as well that like, how do I interact with food from a place of informed decision and being like, ah, okay, I can have it. I'm gonna be okay. And, um, and trust my body that it can detox versus just, just blind, like you said, like just being blind, leading the blind.

Yeah. Feeling like you're eating healthy with your grains and being confused why your gut is so unhealthy. Mm-hmm. How are you feeling? I'm feeling good. Good? Yeah. Okay. How are you feeling? I'm good. I'm good. I was like, okay, well, not super nauseous, but I was just like, okay. The two pregnant women sitting here.

Just like, 

Dr. Brighten: I'm like, I know it's coming for me. So you are 10 weeks right now? 10 weeks, yeah. Yes. And I'm five, so I've been having the waves come next week. The nausea will [01:07:00] start probably coming for me and 

Aggie Lal: yeah, my five weeks were great and I was like, I'm a little scared 'cause I can't see any faint. Yeah. I can't feel anything.

And then like, don't you worry, week six came and I was like, oh yeah. It hit me like a train. Yeah. 

Dr. Brighten: Yeah. Well, thank you so much for taking the time to have this conversation, for being so open for sharing about your pregnancy. I feel I'm like, we're the first podcast you are to like, you're the first ever shout Maggie about her, uh, pregnancy because I happen to be pregnant and as I had said, like, we planned this trip because I had the embryo transfer and I was like, I can't not keep living my life.

Like, we're just gonna plan this trip. Mm-hmm. And like if it happens, it happens and then the universe is like, yeah. It's gonna happen, like you're gonna be on the road. Let's just make sure it's a little rough for you. 

Aggie Lal: Aw, I, I'm, it worked out. Yeah. And I'm so happy for you and the way you share your journey is just super empowering for me.

You know, just going it for the very first time and, and just giving myself permission to like surrender to the whole experience. Yeah. Well, 

 

Dr. Brighten: thank you so much. Thank, you're the best. [01:08:00] I hope you enjoyed this episode. If this is the kind of content you're into, then I highly recommend checking out this.