How to Lower Cortisol & RESET Your Nervous System in 90 Seconds | Rosie Acosta

Rosie: [00:00:00] Mindfulness or meditation can be a little intimidating for people because we think, oh, we have to do it for such a long period of 

Dr Brighten: time. One of the mental health professionals I met with, and I was talking to her about like stress and like just feeling overwhelmed as a mom, and her answer to me was like, you need to sit and meditate for an hour every day.

Rosie: People are equating mindfulness to more productivity. It's our ability to be in the present moment and appreciate life, the connection of mind body. Spirit, 

Narrator: Rosie Acosta from her roots in East LA to coaching Olympians and teaching at Headspace. Rosie Acosta brings a powerhouse blend of science, spirituality, and real world grit, 

making her one of today's most influential voices in mental wellness and radical healing.

She joins us today to help you shift out of survival mode and into the grounded, powerful version of yourself you've been craving. 

Dr Brighten: If someone could just do one thing over the next seven days to improve their cortisol levels and their stress, [00:01:00] what would you recommend? That's a good one. There's so many different things.

The first thing that came to mind is to. Welcome to the Dr. Brighton Show, where we burn the BS in women's health to the ground. I'm your host, Dr. Jolene Brighton, and if you've ever been dismissed, told your symptoms are normal or just in your head or been told just to deal with it, this show is for you.

And if while listening to this you decide you like this kind of content, I invite you to head over to dr brighton.com where you'll find free guides, twice weekly podcast releases, and a ton of resources to support you on your journey. Let's dive in. Most people will do not fill like they have time for mindfulness.

If somebody has 90 seconds a day, what could they do to drop their stress? 

Rosie: Wow. 90 seconds is a very short amount of time. It's really interesting. I, I think about this often because I, I get asked to do short takes, right? Like, how [00:02:00] can I do this quickly? Mm-hmm. Right? And. I feel like that's part of the issue why mindfulness or meditation can be a little, um, intimidating for people, right?

Because we think, oh, we have to do it for such a long period of time, or what's the time commitment? 90 seconds feels like, okay, what can I do right now? And I will give you an answer, but the one thing I wanna say is that. If we create a framework where we could allow for more time, I think it's gonna serve us better to create a more sustainable practice.

Mm-hmm. That being said, 90 seconds, how long does it take you to take a deep breath? Do it? I 

Dr Brighten: don't know. Well, you, I would say six to eight seconds. Okay. Let's see if I'm taking a deep breath or you want me to do it? Yeah.

My pants are too tight. You know, when you try to Yeah, I wasted. Yeah, yeah. No, it's [00:03:00] good. Uh, for people listening, I just flashed the camera, my belly. So go to YouTube and you can catch a belly shot. But that 

Rosie: was that. You were absolutely right. That took you about eight seconds. So I think for a, a 92nd practice, if you just do a breath focused, relax your shoulders.

Take a deep breath in, do, I don't know, four to five cycles of deep breathing. Mm-hmm. That in itself is a meditation practice. It's a mindfulness practice, and we can get into the definitions of what those are, but I really feel like if that's all you have, you have 90 seconds between appointments or dropping kids off at school or you know, between meetings.

Just to take that moment and take a big, deep breath in. Nice, long exhale. If you've, if you focus on, uh, I always say a two to four ratio, right? So it took you eight seconds, you said, how long does it take me to take a deep breath? About eight seconds. Then you would exhale for [00:04:00] 16. So if it takes you four seconds to breathe in, you would exhale for eight.

So two to four. Mm-hmm. You just elongate the exhale. It allows you to go into your, you know, parasympathetic nervous system so you can decrease any cortisol and it makes you feel more relaxed. 

Dr Brighten: Mm-hmm. So. If someone's going through this 92nd breathing cycle, I think there's some people listening who are like, I need to know what, what's in it for me?

What should they experience at the end of 90 seconds? Like, if you can pause for a minute and a half, what is waiting for you on the other side? 

Rosie: Yeah. I think for most of us, when we take a beat, which often, you know, we hear people say like, take take a moment. Mm-hmm. When you're taking that moment, often you're in a.

Exalted state. So at the end of that 90 seconds, the aim or the goal would be to feel more at peace, less tension, [00:05:00] maybe a little bit more relaxed, uh, maybe a little bit more anchored in the present moment as opposed to, you know, being in, in a state where you're. In an elevated state. 

Dr Brighten: Mm-hmm. If someone was to stack this consistently, like let's say they commit to seven days, what could they hope to experience at the end of seven days?

Yeah, I mean, if you're doing 

Rosie: a 92nd daily practice, day one is. It's probably gonna be a little challenging, right? Mm-hmm. To establish any type of practice that you've not done, it's always gonna be harder for you to to start. But if you're diligent and if you're able to do it, I would imagine by the seventh, after a week, you will have created, um.

A new framework, a new anchor point for yourself, and it will give you a little bit more space that pause that people talk about when you're practicing mindfulness, to be more present, more [00:06:00] alert to what's happening it, I would imagine it would give you a, a renewed sense of peace and. Less tension. 

Dr Brighten: Mm-hmm.

I think 90 seconds, you know exactly what you were saying at the start of this is a lot of people think mindfulness meditation, it has to be this lengthy practice. I mean, people who've listened to the podcast before, heard my, have heard my story about the. You know, one of the, uh, mental health professionals I met with, and I was talking to her about like stress and how I'm just like running low on time and, and like just feeling overwhelmed as a mom.

And her answer to me was like, you need to sit and meditate for an hour every day. And I was like, how long have you been doing this? Like, I was like, I immediately am questioning you because if someone's saying that to you, really finding a gateway of like, where can we pause and make space? Because once you start making that space.

You start experiencing the benefit, it becomes easier and easier to carve out more time, I think [00:07:00] because you, you know, like anything that feels good, you start craving and wanting more of it. Yeah. And so you start expanding into that. And I like the framework of like, how can we just start small and build that over time because.

I think with wellness sometimes it's like, here's the goal, here's where you wanna be, and that's all people talk about. And they don't talk about, well, how do you take that first step? How do you actually get to the place that's your ideal? 

Rosie: Yeah. Well, I'll be a little controversial and say that I don't agree with that at all with what this 

Dr Brighten: person said.

It is not controversial. I just, I just 

Rosie: question authority. So, so it's like, I, I don't agree with that on. A lot of different levels and we can talk about what mindfulness is and what mindfulness isn't. Um, and a lot of the, a lot of the conversation right now in the world of wellness is equating mindfulness to productivity.

Mm-hmm. It's like, how could I be more productive? Which is not, it's not a bad thing, you know, we wanna be able to be more efficient with what we do, but asking [00:08:00] somebody that. As you said is already overwhelmed and doesn't have the time to commit to an hour, and you'll hear these wellness tips that say, oh, just wake up earlier.

Mm, wake up earlier, or do it at night. You know, and it's like these, you, you are like the perfect archetype. Like you're running a business, you're a parent, you're, you know, you're a doctor, you, you're researching, you're constantly, uh. Your schedule is stacked. So how can somebody ask somebody like you to say, Hey, you're already doing so much, let's find an extra hour mm-hmm.

For you to do this. That that's not helpful. And I, I really like this idea of like in nutrition, right? It's, it's crowding out how do we crowd out the bad stuff. Mm-hmm. So how can I already infiltrate your, as a mindfulness. Teacher. Right? I'm like, how can I infiltrate that? You know, Dr. Jolene's busy schedule to get some mindfulness in there and, and what [00:09:00] I would say is where, what activity do you do every day that.

It could bring you a little bit more joy, like maybe it's listening to your favorite music while you're researching or when you're, you know, playing with your kids or when you get that moment in between appointments where you can just do. Okay, I'm gonna listen to something that makes me happy, or I'm gonna just take a moment and look at the colors around, or look at, you know, the greenery as I'm in the car.

You know, whatever it might be to incorporate that as your practice. It's like that is mindfulness. You being aware is already practicing mindfulness. If you're talking about building a meditation practice. That's a little different. You know, like, where can you find that 90 seconds or where can you find that moment of time to just focus on yourself, you know?

Mm-hmm. Maybe it's, you know, doing an activity like [00:10:00] cooking or cleaning out a drawer. I don't, you know, it's like, it's so different for so many people, you know? And, and I really think that if we dispel these myths around what, what mindfulness is it? It encourages us to actually practice. Like if I hear that.

That's really discouraging. That makes me feel like, okay, this is not for me. When in fact you are like the perfect person that needs to have this add-on into your life to allow you to be more present with everything that you do. 

Dr Brighten: Mm-hmm. I wanna get into some of these myths because I think there's a lot that exists, but I wanna do this.

I'm gonna do the take of like two truths and a lie. So for everyone listening, I'm gonna read three statements. You jump into the comments, you let me know which ones you think are a lie. We're gonna, um, pick winners. You can go to YouTube, comment there if you get it right. We're gonna do a drawing for that.

So I'm gonna say these three statements. Then we're going to, we're [00:11:00] gonna keep going, uh, and then we'll come back and identify which is the lie. So firstly, mindfulness can lower cortisol in less than 60 seconds. Meditation must be done for at least 30 minutes to get results. Mindfulness and meditation literally changes the structure of your brain.

So everybody listening, you can drop it in the comments. And while you are doing that, I'm gonna ask you. Do you think mindfulness is becoming toxic? Has the wellness industry, the wellness space, turned presence into just another form of hustle culture? 

Rosie: Ooh, that is good. Yeah. Well, it goes back to what I was saying before about how people are equating mindfulness to more productivity.

Um, yeah, of course. I think it's being marketed in in a way that's. I mean, look to, I, I'm a big fan of practice when you can practice at any time, it's like when people ask me what is the best time [00:12:00] to practice meditation? I'm like, when you can do it. Mm-hmm. That's the best time. This idea that, that mindfulness is packaged as, you know, like a, a, a hack, um, it bothers me because I feel like.

It's so much bigger than that. You know? It, it really is, um, the connection of, of mind, body, spirit, right? It's, it's our ability to be in the present moment and appreciate life. Mm-hmm. Um, she holberg, who is, uh, somebody that I, I look up to and it has been, uh, a, a mentor in, in my journey. She, she talks about this story.

About the definition of mindfulness. And she brings up this example of, uh, going to, uh, there was a, a, a teacher who was teaching mindfulness at this, uh, school, um, in [00:13:00] Oakland, you know, for, um, under-resourced kids. And when she asked, uh, one of the. Eight year olds. You know what, what is mindfulness like they've been practicing now for a couple of weeks and he says, mm-hmm.

Mindfulness is me not punching somebody in the mouth. 

Dr Brighten: And I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah. I mean, that is impulse control, which is one of the benefits of mindfulness, and it is something that most men struggle with until like 30. So even though the prefrontal cortex has finished developing at 25, it doesn't mean they're using it.

So I think that is tremendous to hear an 8-year-old boy being like, yeah, like I've developed impulse control. Yeah. 

Rosie: And, and I feel like when we look at it from just the practical standpoint of. Not even practical. I feel like that's an elevated, w wise standpoint to say, okay, so mindfulness is me resisting or, or having a [00:14:00] hold of my emotions or my impulses and being able to, uh, create a framework for my daily life where I am building resilience essentially is what it ishmm.

It's, it's our ability to build resilience, to build tolerance, to incorporate compassion, to be able to. Create a, a sustainable, uh, practice for ourselves, you know, whatever that may be. And I, I mentioned the spiritual aspect of it because I, and look, I'm like researcher. I love the science. I'm, I'm really into the neuroscience of the benefits of mindfulness and, and its effect on the brain.

And also I feel like it, it's part of this idea of, of interconnectedness, right? How can we. Care for ourselves so that we can continue to care for others. 

Dr Brighten: I appreciate you saying that and bringing up the spiritual as aspect of it, because I think at the root of. Mindfulness [00:15:00] meditation becoming part of hustle culture, becoming part of like productivity is what the west always does when it co-ops practices from the east where they say, oh wow, yoga.

Okay, how do we make it like endurance yoga, hot yoga, like fitness yoga, like, you know, we wanna burn fat. Right? Like, and it's it, you lose the plot. Yeah. Um, and it's the same thing that I see happening with like. Mindfulness meditation where, yeah, I think the neuroscience is fascinating and I absolutely love when science validates what basically ancient principles and teachings have been saying, but it almost becomes this.

Ego of science has validated it, therefore we only see it through this lens. Mm-hmm. And that is, its only value. And yet there's so much more to it. And there is this spiritual aspect. And I think it does a great disservice to the people who created this, the people who came before us when we are reductionistic.

Which is [00:16:00] what is just what science is. Yeah. Science is very reductionistic. Um. Love science. However, we have to also have the humility that we don't understand everything and science cannot explain everything. Because it was designed very specific. I mean, science can't even explain most of women's health issues because it was designed for men and it was designed to examine men.

So when we start to. Unpack it in that way. Oh, you guys, you have to watch this one. The little things happening behind the scenes. Um, and you know, as you brought up talking about like the whole productivity thing, I'm like, it makes me think a lot about how people talk about women's. Cycles than women's hormones.

And that becomes very much of like, how do you produce more? When do you schedule your meetings, when do you do all these things? And I'm like, firstly, your intuition trumps any protocol that's saying like, based on these days of your cycle. And also that whole framework is assuming you ovulate on day 14, which isn't even true for the majority of us.

But for people to stand back and [00:17:00] recognize their intuition matters more than this external pressure to always be. Doing everything just to be productive and having to leverage everything just to be productive. 

Rosie: Yeah. No, I love that you're saying that, and I love the tie into the hormone cycle because it's true.

You know, we, but that's what we're marketed. We're mm-hmm. We're marketed, oh, here's this, here's this really perfect thing that has worked for centuries and that we've been doing forever, and here's how we're gonna package it and sell it to you because, um, you can't have access to it unless you get it through this.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like, okay, so, so if that's the case, then how, how then can I create a sustainable model for myself? How can I learn about these topics and, and integrate them or, and, and integrate them into my life in a way to create a, a healthier life in a more connected life? And I, I love that you're saying that because I feel like that's.

It's [00:18:00] probably one of the biggest obstacles that we face as women. Mm-hmm. Right. It's like we have to do, we have to do the hot yoga, we have to have the wake up an extra hour early with my already busy schedule to do the meditation practice, and then, and then I have to do another workout, and then I have to be a good parent, then I have to be a good partner, and I have to be excellent at my career, and I have to, you know, do all of these things.

It's like. At what point do we allow ourselves to have the space to reevaluate what is important to us and how can we learn what we need to learn about ourselves so that we can then be, uh, a more kind, a more compassionate, a more present human being. 

Dr Brighten: I love that. I wanna go, um, I wanna, I wanna talk to you about what is like your morning ritual look like.

'cause I think mornings are the stickiest point for so many people, but we gotta reveal the lie first. So, let me a [00:19:00] lie, let me read the statements. Okay. So you tell me true or false. Mindfulness can lower cortisol in less than 60 seconds. That's true. Okay. Why? 

Rosie: Because it, it goes back to our fight or flight, right?

Mm-hmm. We have the parasympathetic nervous system, the sympathetic nervous system. So the sympathetic nervous system is what's involved in fight, flight, freeze, fawn response. You know, when we're elevated, all our. Blood goes to our central system so that we can do all of those things. The parasympathetic nervous system is part of our rest and digest, and so it's shown that, you know, in a short amount of time doing exercises like what I just said earlier, like the ratio two to four, inhale for two x, exhale for four, an elongated exhale.

Uh. It, it stimulates the vagus nerve, which is, you know, helpful for our parasympathetic, parasympathetic nervous system to, to calm down and it, it. It alleviates [00:20:00] the tension. Mm-hmm. So that, that's how, in broad strokes, you wanna 

Dr Brighten: hear something cool about the vagus nerve? Yes. Tell me. Yeah. It innervates, it ends in the cervix.

Yeah. You, you talked about this. Yeah. So in, is this normal? I talked about this and I, I wrote like, okay. Because the myth in gynecology, based on absolutely no science, is that the service has no nerve ending. So we don't have to do pain management for women. Um. Yeah, that's a whole conversation for another day.

Um, I wrote about it in this normal, but it wasn't until I was recently having a conversation with Dr. Anna Sierra, who is like the world's top, uh, neuropathologist. And so she's like, if you gotta have nerve surgery in your pelvis, like this is your girl, she can dissect it out. So she's an expert in this area and she was talking about like, no, the vagus nerve ovates there.

And then we were talking about breathing and I was like, hold up. Like. Like Mama Nature does not get things wrong and like to think that the vagus nerve is innervating. It's going from the brain to the heart, to the gut, to the [00:21:00] cervix, and then we just treat uterus as like. They're expendable if you don't want a baby.

And I'm like, we need to pause here because there is a very important like parasympathetic activating and also feedback system. So people, I will link to the episode that's all about the vagus nerve, but I just find that fascinating and I'm like, if we want better pelvic health, so all the organs down there.

Breathing, stimulating, accessing the vagus nerve is absolutely essential. Like we have to be doing that because of just the way the nervous system is communicating through the body. Absolutely. Which also means that. Statistically speaking, a lot of women have had trauma in their pelvic area one way or another, right?

There's a whole level of trauma. I mean, just going, the gynecologist can be traumatic. Um, falling on the monkey bars at school can be traumatic. Like there's all these different types of trauma that, like, if this has affected the VAs nerve, how has that set the tone for your life? And so with saying all this, everyone, this is even more reason why [00:22:00] this podcast is so important in practicing mindfulness and meditation.

Can I ask you a question about that? What happens if somebody has their uterus removed? So that's a, that's a big like question mark. Yeah. 'cause we just didn't bother to study the female body. Full stop. Um, but we just haven't even bothered to study that. I mean, we know that the uterus is connected to the immune system.

We know even if you retain your ovaries, but if we take your uterus, you're gonna go into menopause sooner. Uh, we, the uterus is really important, but medicine has been like, the only reason that differs from a man is because a baby goes there and periods happen and it's like. There's so much more going on that like, I hope in my lifetime I get to see the research on it.

But yeah, it's a big question of like what actually happens when we remove this organ as it, as we see this innervation of the nervous system. And some, you know, when you have a hysterectomy, sometimes the cervix is left behind. Um, so it just depends. But it still is like what happens? Yeah, like beyond, you know, sometimes a hysterectomy is necessary.

So [00:23:00] the question is if that's necessary. Then how do we support this person? Knowing what we know about the nervous system? Yeah, exactly. And 

Rosie: knowing that the vagus nerve is running from. Here all the way down to there. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? What happens? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. No, I'm so, I'm, I'm here for it. And I, and again, I love that you were talking about before we started recording, but I love that you're doing this show.

It's so important, so much valuable information, and, and we don't talk about it enough. We don't learn, we don't study it enough. We don't research it enough. Yeah. And I, I find it. A, a very important and valuable, uh, topic for us to continue to do research. Mm-hmm. For start. 

Dr Brighten: So let me ask you the next one.

Yes. Meditation must be done for at least 30 minutes to get results. True or false? That's false. Okay. Yeah. Tell us why. Because there's definitely people out there being like, you know how influencers are like, and Yeah. Let me just say, it's not just influencers, health practitioners. I mean, obviously my person, I [00:24:00] was like, just so people are like, why did she tell you to meditate an hour?

My whole thing was like. I need to say no more. Like I need to say no more. I need to set more boundaries. I need to talk through. Why is it sometimes I say yes too often. Like this is why I was meeting with this person. And they were like, you just need to meditate. And I was like, girl, no. And I was like, I don't think you've figured it out either.

Um, because it's a very, I think we spend our entire life trying to figure that out and then we get into like menopause and then we're like, no, I know who I am. I'm setting boundaries. And I'm always like, yeah. How do I get there sooner? 

Rosie: Yeah. Well, and the thing too about setting boundaries is we think often that it's a zero sum game.

And it's not. If I say no to you, I, if I say yes to me, it means I'm saying no to you. Hmm. And that's not the case. If I'm saying no to you and saying yes to myself, I have more of a me to give, you know? Yeah. That, that's ultimately what we have to look at it as. And again, I'm, I'm a [00:25:00] little, um. Miffed that somebody's asking you, knowing you and your schedule, what you do in the world, to find an extra hour of time to do something that, I mean, really a, an extra three to five minutes scientifically will help.

So, so to answer the question, um. There's been, you know, studies done on the brain f MRIs that have looked to see, uh, how the brain changes with neuroplasticity just after five minutes. Mm-hmm. So, so really that's, if you're going to, let's look at it this way. If you wanna do the most set five minutes 

Dr Brighten: aside a day, that's.

The hot take right there. 'cause that is absolutely my experience when people will say, how are you so productive? Because I am, I will tell you, I'm, I get a lot done in the time that I have. Um, part of it too is 'cause I'm like, I really wanna hang out with my [00:26:00] kids. And that's like, I wanna, I wanna get this done, but it is.

Se make time for your brain to rest, to recalibrate and to get centered because otherwise you are chasing all the things. I think that's so helpful and I appreciate you also doing the reframe about, because the boundaries thing is a big thing for a lot of women, and I think the way you reframed it is really going to help a lot of people who just heard that.

So we've identified the lie. We know that the next one's true, but I wanna know why mindfulness and meditation literally changes the structure of your brain. Tell us what the research says. Yeah, 

Rosie: so the research, going back to what I was saying, the neuroplasticity, right? So our brain does, you know. Change, it can change shape, and it, and it, the, the studies that I've found, uh, show that even in our elder years within, you know, our eighties and nineties even mm-hmm.

We are still building these neurological pathways, right? So like our brain is [00:27:00] this, this mushy, glorious, uh, uh, vessel that continuously can grow and change and learn new things. So this. This adage that an old dog can't learn new tricks is not true. Not for the human brain, right? We can absolutely build, um, neuroplasticity is plasticity, right?

So we can build and create new. And so that, that's the framework to why meditation and mindfulness, when you essentially. If we look at it, at it from the perspective that we were talking about with lowering the, our cortisol, right? Which is the hormone that, you know, creates all kinds of issues for us, for our health and, um, lowering our, our cortisol, which is the hormone that, you know, creates stress in our body, um, will allow the space for us to, yeah.

Have more [00:28:00] peace, have more calm. It, it gives our brain an opportunity to build new frameworks. Uh, you were talking about the, the prefrontal cortex, you know, it, it allows us from that place to react from a more wise place as opposed to being, you know, limbic system reactive. Mm-hmm. So. When we, I get really geeked out about this because I'm like, I think about things like anger or resentment or fear, things that create cortisol in our system and how practicing mindfulness or practicing meditation creates an opportunity for us to pause mm-hmm.

To, to respond from a more calm, present state as opposed to a reactive place, which often we. Especially right now. Right. With everything that's going on in the world, we're so reactive because we're in a constant state of fight or flight. I mean, we're mm-hmm. We're [00:29:00] there is this barrage of negativity, right.

And, and things that we have no control over. So we think, oh, if I continue to think about all of these negative things, it's gonna prepare me right to, yeah. Deal with the, the, you know, the bear that's gonna come and, and fight me when in actuality it's just exhausting us more. Mm-hmm. It, it makes sense. Uh, and I'm not berating us for having a natural reaction to anger or fear, but it is taxing us.

It is creating, uh, uh, a heavy weight on our, on our brain, on our body. And so utilizing techniques like the breathing or. Drawing or listening to music. All of these techniques have been shown to lower cortisol, so, so we can utilize those as mindfulness and, and even a meditation practice. 

Dr Brighten: I love that you talk about like even the 8-year-old [00:30:00] brain is able to change, and I think for li women listening right now, it is so important if you are in your thirties to start to get a mindfulness or meditation practice because once you enter perimenopause, your brain is going through remodeling.

It is completely remodeling and changing and setting you up for the next phase of life. It's why people are like, oh, perimenopause is such a drug. Why does it take seven to 10 years? I'm like, your brain has to literally change. Think about puberty. We know that at puberty you get your period. Sure, sure, sure.

But two years before that is typically when all the hormones are changing, the brain starts to change, and it's a decade. A decade of modeling that the female brain has to undergo. And so it's, it's astounding to me that, you know, we don't think about perimenopause beyond just the end of reproductive years.

And we don't think about it of like you are changing your entire system, of your brain. And one of the tools for that, because we know what happens is that often. [00:31:00] Progesterone drops, GABA stimulation drops. Now the amygdala and the HP access become very, very reactive, especially if your testosterone drops as well, because now your body's like, we're weaker.

We're more fragile. We have to be more hypervigilant about what's in our environment, but we live in this artificial environment that is constantly bombarding us with danger signals to the body. Even though we might not mentally think it's a dangerous signal, it's still like, I mean, driving in traffic, somebody you swerves towards you, the body's like, we're gonna die.

Everybody like alert? Alert, yes. And because of the hormonal changes and the brain changes in perimenopause, you can stay amped up for a longer period of time. However, having a practice, like even the 90 seconds of breathing that you started with can help reset that system. Yeah. And not let cortisol get the best of you because cortisol is great.

Un until it's not. 

Rosie: Right. Right. Like, we need it. But also, you know, when, when we don't need it, it's, you know, it can, it can be. Taxing. 

Dr Brighten: Yeah. And 

Rosie: toxic to 

Dr Brighten: the 

Rosie: body. 

Dr Brighten: I [00:32:00] wanna talk about what does your morning ritual look like or how do you start your day? Because how we start our day sets the tone for our nervous system throughout the entire day, and it's often the only place we have real control.

Right? Like is the start of your day. I 

Rosie: mean, if, if I, I say this because I have friends with, with kids, and it's totally different. So it's like, yeah, it sets the tone, but sometimes you're getting woken up, right? Mm-hmm. Like, and it's not your choice. So I do wanna be sensitive to, uh, the mamas out there always, you know, uh, I, I don't have kids, so I, I.

Can create my schedule, the the way that I want. Um, oftentimes it, it's interesting 'cause you're talking about, um, perimenopause and, and I went straight to Yeah. Like you have the brain fog and you're not able to think clearly and the remodeling is happening and how do you make sense of the world? Like it's [00:33:00] so hard, right?

To even think, okay, now I gotta incorporate a mindfulness practice. Mm-hmm. And I think for me, when I was going through perimenopause. Uh, my morning routine, just to bring it back to the morning routine, looked very different. You know, I would wake up at 4:00 AM and it's funny, I'm like, I do that. You have four women.

Very, yeah, I know. I would do that. I would do like a yoga practice. I would do, you know, a, a meditation practice. You know, typically 20 to 30 minutes. Both. So I would do an hour long, but I would move for, you know, and I'm saying movement, like I'm stretching mm-hmm. Is what's happening. We're not sweating at all, like, no sweat.

I don't wanna sweat that early. Yeah. You know? Um, but then it allows us, so there has been research that shows how movement in the morning could help our brain, uh, settle. Mm-hmm. And, and oftentimes in, in yoga, that that's how it was designed. We would do. A physical practice, and then you meditate at the end because you're in a more [00:34:00] calm state.

So a a morning routine that incorporates both, whether it's like tai chi or a little bit of stretching. It could be 10 to 15 minutes. At that time, I was trying to elongate the time because I thought that it would help me more, but it didn't. Mm-hmm. Clearly there were some hormonal factors that I didn't know at the time.

Yeah. Uh, but now that I know it, it has, uh, created a. Uh, a more, a shorter practice that feels a little bit more efficient. So I'm still an early, I'm an early person and I go to bed early. Mm-hmm. Uh, so I, I do a movement practice. I'll go for a walk 15 to 20 minutes, and then I'll sit for 15, 20 minutes and, and that's my morning.

I do, I don't. Plug in. I don't answer emails. I don't answer any texts until I do writing. I love writing. That's part of my meditation practice, I would say. Mm-hmm. [00:35:00] Um, so I do some like morning pages in the morning, and once I'm done, I do like 500 words every day. And then I'll check the email and then I'll get my day started.

But I, I try to create this, uh, sacred. Morning hub mm-hmm. Of my partner doesn't look at me, doesn't talk to me, doesn't engage with me. I 

Dr Brighten: know this feeling. My husband's sitting in the room right now, he's gonna be like, yeah, when she says, don't look at me. Like, 

Rosie: it's like I don't, I don't feel like myself until I've done all of those things.

I wake up, I make my tea, I go do my practice, I come back, I do my writing, and then it's like, I'm human. You can talk to me. But prior to that, it's like. I'm like, here we are again. Mm-hmm. This world, hello World. And it's not, I'm not a. Optimistic person when I wake up. 

Dr Brighten: Yeah. That's how my toddler is. We just call him the slow waker because he has to, it has to be like very, very [00:36:00] slow, like an hour wake up period.

Because if he wakes up and you immediately start talking to him, he's like screaming at you. So angry. And I'm like. Fair. Okay. You're a slow waker. Do you go in a couple, 

Rosie: I mean, how often, how many times do you go? He crawls 

Dr Brighten: into bed with me, uh, usually in the early morning, and then he, there's like a honeybee song I made up for just him.

And so if I sing that to him and I rub his back and we do cuddles and then it's just really, really slow. I was saying how annoyed I was. Um, so everybody listening, I just had knee surgery and like I come home like the day after, and so the next morning. He's like grabbing me and wanting to do the cuddles and everything, and I'm like, I'm in so much pain, I just need more sleep.

'cause I'm healing right now. But I'm like, if I just let him do this, he's gonna have a really great morning. He's gonna have a really great day. If I'm like, no, mama doesn't wanna cuddle or something, you know, and it's, I mean, listen, if anybody is like, yeah, sometimes it's a no. Oh, I feel that. But it was just, [00:37:00] it's one of those situations of being like, okay.

I can always go back to bed. I have the day off 'cause I'm healing from surgery. Like if I just give him this 10 minutes, like his whole day is gonna be different because it, it's that starting in parasympathetic. So we're singing, we're humming, we're, what are we doing? We're breathing and we're stimulating the vagus nerve.

And that's setting him up for the day. Oxy, oxytocin. Yeah. And lots of oxytocin. Yeah. Yeahm. And you know, something that. I have figured out, um, in recent years with, so I hate doing my makeup. I just think it is tedious and I just hate that women have to wear makeup. I'm like, how much time could I get back if I didn't do this?

But I do like the way I look with makeup, so the tricky thing, but. I've set up like where I do my makeup, where I have like an altar basically with like candles and that. I go in and I have like my mantra. I say, I light my candles. I say it three times. I take three breaths. I then play affirmations while I do my makeup, and it's something where I took like.

The thing I [00:38:00] look forward to the least in my morning, and I was like, how do I morph it so that it becomes something positive for me? But I also make it this mindfulness ritual to where I can be really present and I can leverage this time, which I have to take to do my makeup right, to actually make it mine and make it work for me.

Rosie: Yeah, that has to be the most. Beautiful, inspiring mindfulness practice that I've heard. 

Dr Brighten: Oh, I don't know about the 

Rosie: most, 

Dr Brighten: no, it's inspiring. 

Rosie: No, but I feel like, I mean you, that is I the, I'm not kidding. It's the ideal, like you created something that you don't look forward to, into something that you look forward to, and you made it sacred and special and mindful and intentional.

Right. So like mindfulness, I would say meditation and mindfulness practice. Interchangeably. I say sometimes. Um, there are three qualities that your meditation practice, um. Aims to have. I don't like to [00:39:00] say should. 

Dr Brighten: Yeah, it's a tricky one and I appreciate that because we have a lot of, uh, listeners who have, um, r um, RSD, which is, uh, or PDA, excuse me, is what I was trying to say.

Uh, PDA, which is called pathological demand avoidance, but it's uh, basically people who really crave autonomy. Mm-hmm. Um, and shoulds will. Set them off immediately. Yeah. Say 

Rosie: I'm one of those, I'm one of those people for you. 

Dr Brighten: Okay. Okay. I'm, I'm part your PDA crowd. I am those people as well. Before I realized that I was neurodivergent, we just had a saying in my house, which was like, don't tell mama what to do.

Um, and so I'd be like, what's the rule? And the kid, like my oldest would be like, don't tell mama what to do. We're right. If you ask me, if you say it in a different way, I am all about it. But if you're like, you have to do this right now, which is usually to be fair, it's coming from my husband who's like, we're trying to get out the door.

Right? It's a hustle bustle. And he's like, you need to do this right now. And. Suddenly my cortisol's up my amygdala's. Like, hell no. Like, [00:40:00] it's like my whole system shifts. And I, and when I realized, oh, that's, that's what's going on. 'cause forever I was like, why am I just like so difficult? Yeah. Why am I a difficult person?

I'm like, oh no, it's my wiring and my physiology. Uh, it's literally just, you know, a change of a phrase. That can make all the difference. Yeah. But yeah, back to your, don't say should, but keep going. Yeah. Yeah. Also 

Rosie: the, and so, no, but that's, that's exactly right. And I, and I love that because I feel like in any.

Any practice that aims to improve your mental health, it's important for it to feel autonomous. Mm-hmm. We wanna feel empowered. That's the whole idea. We don't want to rely on something to, you know, bring us back to who we are. Innately we, it's important for us to feel empowered. Mm-hmm. Right. So the three qualities are, uh, your approach, intention.

Then practice. Right? So how are you approaching what you're doing for you? Your [00:41:00] approach initially was, I want my time back. It was a hindrance. You didn't enjoy doing it. You, you liked the result, but it, it did not, uh, it wasn't exciting for you to do. Yeah. You didn't look forward to it. And so then the intention was, okay, it's something that.

I like how it looks. I like the end result. So maybe the intention is how do I create more, um, something more special. So like the candles came in, like, how did you even 

Dr Brighten: think of that? That's brilliant. You know, I just really love candles and I'm really into like candles and crystals and like setting intentions with those and having the right colors.

Yeah. For like the right time. 

Rosie: And you used, 

Dr Brighten: you used the word 

Rosie: altar, you said, I made an altar. 

Dr Brighten: I mean that 

Rosie: is 

Dr Brighten: intention to the max and, and I just wanna ki pro tip everybody, I got a cheap gold plastic plate for like 90 cents and set this [00:42:00] all up on it and it looks so beautiful and I'm like, oh my gosh.

Like I like, I don't know, I just felt like a superstar with that. 'cause like I see all these people that like on Pinterest are like, here's this real expensive setup. And then I was like in the store and I was like, that goal's. Serving platter, you know, those cheap ones we get for like Thanksgiving and stuff.

I was like, that's perfect and we'll just use that. So anyhow, that's for me, just a plug. But like, it's not fancy, but it looks, it looks nice and I think that's also important when you're like, oh, I love looking at it. Yeah. 

Rosie: Because it's something that you're doing, you know, if not, you know, maybe every day, I don't know how often you're doing it, but I would imagine it happens often enough for you to create a ritual around it.

Yes. And so, and then the practice is that you do it, that you're intentional, that you're. Probably replenishing the candles that you're probably finding a new crystal, that you're adding new colors, you know, and, and you're experimenting and trying new shimmers and new things, and that creates such an intentional, mindful, daily practice [00:43:00] for you and, and that's beautiful.

It really is. And I, and I feel like that if we can start to reframe. Things that we do in our life. I'll go back to what I said in the beginning of like crowding things out. How can we incorporate mindfulness into what we already do in our day? Mm-hmm. I think that's, if you want the hack, that's the hack.

Dr Brighten: Yeah. I love that. I wanna, I wanna ask you, if someone could just do one thing over the next seven days to improve their cortisol levels and their stress, what would you recommend? So we're gonna challenge the audience. Can you do this over the next seven days? And then they can comment and tell us how they feel.

Rosie: Oh God, 

Dr Brighten: that's a good one. There's so 

Rosie: many different things. The first thing and it, the first thing that came to mind for me when you said that. For myself, 'cause I don't like to shit on people is too. Scale back on my use [00:44:00] of social media. Hmm. Except this podcast. This podcast is different. This is, this is educational.

This is adding to, to all the feelgood endorphins in your system because you're learning and you're here with us. And when you say 

Dr Brighten: social media, then you're being very intentional about what you mean? What exactly what? So what are you, when you say scale back on social media, what specifically are you 

Rosie: talking about?

So I am saying anything that. You feel is a pacifier. Mm. So if you're doing something, listening to a podcast, listening to an audio book, listening, watching, uh, an educational reel, or TikTok, or if you've got like a sick algorithm and you're just like following really great people like Dr. Jolene here, uh, that's amazing.

Great. I'm talking about the pacifying, uh, inputs that, you know, [00:45:00] like for me, it's like I'm watching paranormal videos on TikTok. Mm-hmm. Like, I go down that rabbit hole, you know, that's sometimes fun though. Let's do it. 

Dr Brighten: I'm like, I've been there too, you know, and then I can't sleep at night. 

Rosie: And it's like, I have to do it during the day because then I'm like thinking about, oh my God, and was that real?

Was that not real? You know? Yeah. But I. It could go for a long time. 

Dr Brighten: It's true. And I don't think you, we give enough credit to how smart these algorithm developers are in keeping us hooked and giving us the dopamine hits and, and doing the things that trick our brain. And so I think when we get caught in that social media loop, we often feel shame and guilt because we're like, oh my God, how did I just waste this time?

You know, your screen time alerts, you spent more time on screen time this year, you know, this week. You have to recognize that just like ultra processed food, it's been absolutely designed to hijack your natural physiology and your inclination to crave ultra processed food and to crave the social [00:46:00] media.

Endless scroll is by you are designed this way and it's nothing wrong with you. You are doing exactly what you are designed to do. The problem is, is that people who are really smart figured out how to manipulate what is inherently. Our, our default Yes. Of programming. 

Rosie: Yeah. They're, they're feeding off of a natural system.

Mm-hmm. And they learned how to do it. So the, the beautiful thing about that, that I will offer is, um, hold on, give you an example. Like, for me, and I'm using myself because I, I, I struggle. Okay. 

Dr Brighten: Everyone, she just pulled out your, her phone just pulled out my phone. I'm like, you really need to be on YouTube.

This one, guys. 

Rosie: Um. If I'm here and I'm doing this, like I still hold this magnetic weight. Mm-hmm. I can put it down. Yeah. Like I just, here, here she goes. I'm lifting the phone up and I'm just tucking it away. Yeah. She's gone now. That is [00:47:00] so difficult to do when you're in the middle of. A really good video mm-hmm.

That you're just like, okay, just a little bit more. I wanna hear about what the, the, this fight between these two people. I don't even know. Oh gosh, haven't heard of my gosh. Right? Like, what's the rabbit hole? I'm like, okay, it's linked to this video. Who said what 

Dr Brighten: now? And who's saying? And it's just, and that phenomenon is also, your brain needs completion on cycles.

So it's not that you are nosy and it's just got, right. Because women always get these negative things like, you're nosy, you are just a busy body. All of this stuff, they're, you've been presented with this. Seen and your brain wants completion, like Yes. And that it wants to run it to completion. Yeah. It's also like what happens so often with our stress is your body wants to run it to completion, but then we deny it that.

So yeah, that's just to say it like, I just don't want anyone walking away being like, oh, I feel so guilty. This is niche. No, all 

Rosie: of that feel guilty. No, no, no. This is not about shame. This is not about guilt. This is about empowerment and autonomy. It's about creating unintentional framework. So I'm like, how could [00:48:00] I, now thinking of.

Dr. Jolene's awesome example with her makeup alter. It's like, how can I, how can I create an intentional use of my social media time? Because it's, I'm not gonna stop using it. Mm-hmm. I want, I want to continue because I enjoy the content. How can I create a ritual for myself and in my mind I'm like, okay, I can go to my favorite chair at home and.

Put my timer on for an hour or however long, and I'm gonna sit and I'm just gonna let myself have at it. Mm-hmm. Like, I'm gonna go down the rabbit hole, I'll try and, you know, like click on videos and I'm like, okay, I wanna be intentional about this cheese mat. You know, like I, I wanna like make sure I, my brain gets the completion I need and, and do it in that way so I feel more empowered and more in control about what is happening for me.

So. I just knocked down [00:49:00] two birds with one stone. Mm-hmm. In a sense, right? Because now I'm being really intentional about my use of my device and also. Maybe the goal is to, maybe I find more time to do something else. Like maybe I, I find more time to write, or I can actually pick up a book and read instead of, do you know the social media?

Which again, there is no, there's no shame. No, do not feel like, oh, I have to X, Y, and Z. And by the way, the screen time, it's like never have I ever experienced a more like aggressive, uh, report. Weekly. I'm like, why does this come in? I don't understand. But you know, for some people they need the gauge. They need to be able to see, you know, how much time they're spending.

So I think mm-hmm. If, if you're wanting to incorporate a mindfulness practice, try to incorporate into something that you already do. If you find that there is a [00:50:00] habit or something that you feel like potentially is. Is stopping you from doing something else that brings you joy, then examine it again. I use myself.

I love social media. I love going down the rabbit hole. I lose time because I'm so in my feel good endorphins and experience. Mm-hmm. Because exactly as Dr. Jolene said, I wanna complete those cycles. So I'm gonna give myself a limit and be intentional. If I choose to ignore the timer when it goes off, which I've done before, 

Dr Brighten: uh, then that's my choice.

Yeah. There's always parental controls. Just because you're not a parent doesn't mean you can't set them for yourselves. She said, if you are someone who struggles with that, um, I wanna go into like the, our protocol playground where I do some rapid fire, uh, cheese made for everybody listening. That's the tea.

Oh, yeah. When you use that word? Yes. Yeah. That's when you're, that's when you're gossip. That's what we do in the salons. Right. [00:51:00] Okay. So rapid fire if I can't sleep, what's your two minute mindfulness protocol? Oh, if you can't sleep. Oh, I saw 

Rosie: this. Okay. I would say there's this, I, I like to utilize breath work.

So I'll go back to the inhale and then exhale two to four ratio. Inhale for two, exhale for four, inhale for four, exhale for eight. Uh, this other hack that I've heard other neuroscientists talk about is when your eyes are closed, if you. Move doing what your body naturally does in sleep. The, uh, rapid eye movement.

Mm-hmm. Uh, so if your eyes are closed, you just bring your eyes from right to left, to left to right, and you just go at a slow pace. Mm-hmm. Uh, typically that. Alerts your body that you're in a relaxed state and so you're kind of reverse engineering yourself. Yeah. And it'll help you go to sleep, talk about mindfulness.

You gotta really 

Dr Brighten: think about that 

Rosie: too. Yeah. Well, I, [00:52:00] it puts me to sleep. The minute I start doing it, I'm just like, oh, I'm not gonna do this, and then I 

Dr Brighten: just go to sleep. Yeah. It's too much work. I love that. So. If someone's in a fight with their partner, what's your mindful response? I'm a big fan of going for a 

Rosie: walk.

Mm. Even just going outside. If you're ever in an argument or in a heated uh, discussion, my biggest advice is always to leave the energetic field. Mm. Walk outside or leave the room. Take a few breaths, four to five breaths, and relax your shoulders, relax the muscles of your throat, and then proceed hopefully from a place of calm and and peace as opposed to a state of exalted.

I love that reactivity. If someone's drowning in work stress, what's a quick reset? So I don't wanna keep harping on the breath, but we know how powerful it is. I think. I'll go back [00:53:00] to what we talked about earlier about the boundaries and mm-hmm. You know, perhaps utilizing your voice to ask for help and or set a boundary.

Just because I say yes to me doesn't mean I'm saying no to you. 

Dr Brighten: Someone says, I've had a really challenging background, like my life's been really hard. Mindfulness is not that accessible for me as a Latina from East la what would be your advice about that? I would 

Rosie: say that, uh, mindfulness is for everyone and it's built for everyone, and I would say it is a practice that isn't judging and isn't.

It doesn't require for you to have to be or do or say anything outside of who and what you already are. I, I think about that portion of myself [00:54:00] when I was growing up in this really chaotic environment thinking. When I first came into mindfulness and meditation and how it was the first time in my life at 15 years old that I ever felt my body Mm, like I had never felt my body.

I've been disembodied for the first 15 years of, of my life. You know, when you're growing up in drive-by shootings and, and seeing chaos and violence like, so being able to just take one breath. Feel what it's like to be in a relaxed state was so powerful for me and I wanted to know. I'm like, how do I do this?

How do I do this more often? Mm-hmm. Right? So when I think about a person that thinks, yeah, I don't have time for mindfulness, or I don't have time to meditate, um, I would challenge that to say [00:55:00] that, um, how could you not? Hmm. Our, our only way to experience love joy is in the present moment, and that's all that these practices are begging of you is, is to just be in the now.

Even if you can be in the now to say, this isn't for me, then you're in the present moment. So you're kind of already practicing. 

Dr Brighten: Yeah. If someone's listening. And they just take one mindfulness pause starting every day. So daily they're starting to practice mindfulness. What's the potential in the next five years of what their life could look like?

Oh, wow. I 

Rosie: mean, it's, it's huge. I mean the, again, we talked about some of the science of what happens to your body. I think it, our cells are constantly changing. You will be a completely different person. Mm-hmm. I think if you are able to establish. A daily mindfulness practice. I'm not saying an hour long meditation every day.

I'm saying just taking those moments [00:56:00] to drink your tea or your coffee in the morning, or spend time with your kids or do something that you really love that allows you to go into that state of presence. Doing your makeup in the morning or spending time with your partner, or just going outside and hearing birds song or smelling, you know, the trees or.

Experiencing the moment, it, it will create a, a more anchored existence in the world. 

Dr Brighten: Hmm. That is such a beautiful note to end on. Thank you so much for taking the time to chat with us today. This was fantastic. 

Rosie: Thank you. And thank you for all the work that you do. I mean, this is so important for us to be able to do this and the work that you do is helping so many people, so I appreciate you.

Dr Brighten: Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. Thank you so much for joining the conversation. If you could like, subscribe or leave a review, it helps me so much in getting this information out to everyone who [00:57:00] needs it. If you enjoyed this conversation, then I definitely want you to check out this.